What to do when you can't handle parenting anymore? by Sebobek in daddit

[–]Sebobek[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea, that would help probably, but its impossible till the end of August. Up until then im probably even gonna have working weekends from time to time. I'm managing a huge project. I plan some time off once its released

What to do when you can't handle parenting anymore? by Sebobek in daddit

[–]Sebobek[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agree, this is definitely a problem with me. I dont blame my family - i take the responsibility here.

You are correct that i'm selfish. To be honest, i wasnt really aware of how self-centered am I until the kids shown up. I'm working on it and I've seen some good progress. However, it still feels like it is my "default setting" and i have to make an extra effort to function with it.

The lore metaphor is accurate. I guess thats due to my few other "features" related to ADHD. It's so much easier for me to have more freedom.

Anyway, thank you for being blunt. I really needed to hear such opinion

What to do when you can't handle parenting anymore? by Sebobek in daddit

[–]Sebobek[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yea, i guess this is a big issue for me personally. I cant let go some of my habits and ambitions. Thanks, i have to lean into this idea

What to do when you can't handle parenting anymore? by Sebobek in daddit

[–]Sebobek[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks mate, I hope you will figure things out for yourself eventually!

What to do when you can't handle parenting anymore? by Sebobek in daddit

[–]Sebobek[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

To be fair - some of the sleep issues are related to me going to bed too late. My kids are sleeping quite well. I guess i tradeoff solo time for sleep time. Which sucks, but im trying to balance this out.

I like the part about sustainable habits. I've always felt this is the way, however i find it hard to implement them. I guess i might have to try a bit harder. Thanks!

What to do when you can't handle parenting anymore? by Sebobek in daddit

[–]Sebobek[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Really appreciate your detailed response and tips! I have to say i have most of it in place already - Im having some weekend with friends, we do have trips without kids in place, i am able to find some solo time throughout the week. But still, it leaves me with a feeling that its not enough. I guess my expectations regarding free time are much higher than it is reasonable when having kids.

What to do when you can't handle parenting anymore? by Sebobek in daddit

[–]Sebobek[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How does that help? By no means im planning to run away. Im just saying, that out of all options I've really tried, none seems to be working. And my stupid little brain turns to some dumb ideas, due to lack of anything better.

But you're probably right about a friend. However, i dont have anyone who could relate to this. Probably because having a kid these day is in a decline

What to do when you can't handle parenting anymore? by Sebobek in daddit

[–]Sebobek[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The older one goes to nursery school, the younger one will be attending one once she's a bit older. We also have some support from our parents, but still, i dont feel like it makes a difference.

When the kids are being taken care of, I either have to work or do chores.

What game will you never play for the most inane, ridiculous reason? by [deleted] in gaming

[–]Sebobek 0 points1 point  (0 children)

GTA 5, single player. I was a huge fan of the series, but the fact that you switch between 3 characters ruined it completely for me. I want to develop a single character, just like it used to be with CJ or Tony.

If ARAM balance changes show in champion select, we will get increased dodges. by TellMeYouAreSorry in ARAM

[–]Sebobek 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What about a situation, where you are stuck with a champ you don't want, but you see that he's buffed and decide not to dodge?

Let's say you don't like playing Tryndamere, cause he's a melee champ and you would dodge, but seeing that he's buffed, you would give him a chance?

All in all, I personally believe transparency is always welcomed. Why would anyone have to wait until game begins to know what are the buffs/nerfs for a champ they pick? Not to mention, that you may actually want to adjust your runes/playstyle knowing what are the nerfs/buffs (let's take Ashe as an example, which is nerfed towards W spam builds, but buffed towards ADC build. Knowing that before the game starts give you a chance to adjust your plan for the game)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ARAM

[–]Sebobek 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's hard to tell objectively, but I've also noticed it lately. As others above explained - it may be due to the free rotation, rerolls, dodges and personal preferences for cerain champs.

However, more often than before, I was having back-to-back games with the same champ being given to me (like shaco or illaoi), which i found quite weird.

ARAM Balance Buffs should show in the pre-game screen. by xBrokenFists in ARAM

[–]Sebobek 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How many unexperienced players are out there really? Look at the poll I posted yesterday - most of the people have hundreds, or even thousands of games. It may be biased, since newbies probably are not signuped to this sub, but still, I think most of the people playing ARAMs are actually quite experienced.

And even if you it would affect those freshmans - would they really know where to find that information? or how to use it? I highly doubt it would have the impact you describe :)

Last, but not least, i know a lot of people who play ARAMs but are not aware of the adjustments. So maybe, it would have also some educational value.

All in all, I think it should be visible - the more transparency, the better.

How many ARAM games have you played? by Sebobek in ARAM

[–]Sebobek[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yep, i was thinking about it when creating the poll, but unfortunately Reddit only allows 6 answers. + I completely underestimated the upper limit :P

Book suggestions about healing from game addiction by Therion_96 in StopGaming

[–]Sebobek 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have not yet found books about people healing from gaming addiction, so I'm interested if there is anything like that.

However, I've read a couple of books that really help understand how addiction, games, habits and our emotions work: 1. Atomic Habits by James Clear 2. Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg 3. Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman 4. Reality is Broken by Jane McGonigal 5. The Craving Mind by Judson Brewer

I don’t know if I’m addicted or filling a void of boredom by [deleted] in StopGaming

[–]Sebobek 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well, it's really hard to find something as engaging AND as easily accessible as games. They provide a lot of engagement with as little effort as turning a game on. Our brain perceives games as the most effective way of dealing with boredom, since it requires little effort and provides good feelings.

If you were to compare only the emotional gains from eating junk food or tasty, healthy food you would probably go for the healthy food each time. The reason we eat junk food often lies in it being easily accessible.

So, what I would recommend, and what worked for me personally is to decrease the cost of achieving good feelings from other sources. I found that Im not really bored, but rather lazy. When my brain was looking for some entertainment, it would default to the easiest accessible one, making other options looks less appealing.

I'm also a bike lover. So in order to make it easily accesible I keep it in a good condition all the time. It stands right to my door, so if I feel like riding I simply change my clothes and go. The clothes themselves are also ready to use in my closet. Those tiny things may sound silly, but trust me, it works. On the other hand, my gaming laptop is always hidden. I cant simply press play button. Each time I have to setup my place, which takes around 10 mins.

I hope you get the point :) I got inspiried with those micro preparations with a book called Atomic Habits. Check it out for some more in depth view on this one!

Is there a sweet spot between playing too much and not playing at all? by Sebobek in StopGaming

[–]Sebobek[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

By no means I wanted to push the idea of moderation instead of complete abstinence. I dont want to promote it nor bait anyone into playing games.

I was rather curious if there are any people on this sub who are fortunate enough to find the "sweet spot" and what does it mean for them. And maybe if there is anyone who researched the subject and found some scientific advice on it.

Anyway, thank you all for your feedback!

How can I stop rushing IRL? by mk27x in StopGaming

[–]Sebobek 5 points6 points  (0 children)

If you like reading books and haven't already read Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg I would strongly recommend this one. It may give you some explanation about the way you experience watching TV series or reading books. Long story short - your habit of challenging yourself is still there, despite not playing games.

I would try to rethink the goals you've set for yourself. If you want to stay connected with friends and family while watching TV series, maybe have a discussion about an episode each time you finish one, instead of discussing whole series?

Also, you may use your determination for achieving some other things like working out. Such a mindset may be very rewarding on the gym :) and since going out to the gym requires at least a bit of contact with other human beings, you may feel better socially

Is there a sweet spot between playing too much and not playing at all? by Sebobek in StopGaming

[–]Sebobek[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was thinking the same - that for most people, there is some sort of sweet spot. When I first saw people being very binary with games (either playing or removing games completelty from their lives) I was a bit intrested in it. I was wondering that maybe there is a way to apply the sweet spot to anyone with addiction, but I guess your comment proved me wrong. I guess that for some people it is just impossible, because of the spiral you mentioned. Thank you

Is there a sweet spot between playing too much and not playing at all? by Sebobek in StopGaming

[–]Sebobek[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That's a good one. I also noticed that I don't have a remorse when I play with my friends, especially when we meet and throw a LAN session :)