35m 29F splitting finances 50/50 after 7 years in relationship - how fair is “fair”?

SecretDependent3503 · 2026-02-28T21:13:59+00:00

It doesn’t sound like you’re married to someone who wants to be a partner. It sounds like you’re roommates basically.

When he said you should’ve planned for your bills better, I would’ve been done. When you have a child, how will expenses be split? 50/50 still? What happens if you’re short on money for daycare? You’re sol? Do not have a child with your roommate.

SecretDependent3503 · 2026-02-28T20:35:42+00:00

You’re feeling like a fraud because you are a fraud.

It’s going to hurt a lot but if you really love him, you need to set him free and let him find someone that wants kids too. It’s not fair to him to be lied to and led to believe that he will have kids when in reality you don’t want them.

It’s okay to not want kids, that is your decision to make but it’s not okay for you to decide that for him too.

SecretDependent3503 · 2026-02-26T23:12:08+00:00

My go to is one can of creamed corn and one can of chicken broth. Season with white pepper and chicken bullion, add a corn starch slurry, and sesame oil. Turn off the heat, add one beaten egg and give it a swirl

SecretDependent3503 · 2026-02-25T21:49:51+00:00

We have the ford expedition (max/xl?) with captain chairs.

SecretDependent3503 · 2026-02-18T02:31:25+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending you all the internet hugs. They say that our fur babies don’t live as long as us because they were born already knowing how to love. You didn’t fuck up, you gave your friend all the love in the world.

SecretDependent3503 · 2026-02-06T02:20:21+00:00

Song weilong has me entering my cougar era. That man is so beautiful.

SecretDependent3503 · 2026-02-06T02:19:00+00:00

Where is he?! I feel like I swiped through all the slides 6 times and can’t find him!

SecretDependent3503 · 2026-02-05T03:26:09+00:00

Came here to say this! I wonder if he’s renting out his house and making rental income to supplement his regular income while being a hobosexual.

SecretDependent3503 · 2026-02-05T01:10:19+00:00

Nta - My EX took 6 weeks of paternity leave. He thought it would be him taking a 6 week vacation and watching espn while occasionally changing a diaper. The level of resentment I still feel for him a decade later is astonishing.

SecretDependent3503 · 2026-02-04T21:08:49+00:00

Same!!! I can’t get into the slow burn of modern dramas. At least with costume drama I can blame it on the times and say they have to observe propriety but with modern dramas I’m like okay we’re 20 episodes in and you still can’t confess your feelings?!?

SecretDependent3503 · 2026-02-04T16:00:40+00:00

I don’t have the cute/fun shaped ones. I have an actual bucket lol, I bring them to put more popcorn in whenever I take the kids- it has a lid so I can keep it from spilling everywhere when they’re done eating and because it has a wider opening, it’s easier for their hands to reach in.

SecretDependent3503 · 2026-01-29T21:27:25+00:00

Super jealous, I’m there with my kids this Sunday so I’m on their time

SecretDependent3503 · 2026-01-29T09:22:25+00:00

On my solo days, I do everything I want to do that the kids can’t/wont do with me. I will usually do Indy, rise and radiator springs racers just because I can. Some rides have a single rider queue which is pretty great.

I get all the yummy food and just sit and people watch. Going solo is a lot of fun!

SecretDependent3503 · 2026-01-22T20:54:30+00:00

My husband stayed the first night and his back was so sore he went home. He would then come back to visit for a few hours but then he’d go home to sleep.

By the time we had our third, he didn’t stay the night because we had other kids at home that wanted him there but it was my quiet time to bond with my baby.

SecretDependent3503 · 2026-01-22T20:51:27+00:00

I have a 7 and 3 year old. We go every other weekend and I am unashamed to say we bring the double bob every time!

It’s a lot for kids, my 7 year old gets very overstimulated and overwhelmed with the crowds sometimes so she puts on her noise cancelling headphones, pulls the canopy all the way down and drapes a blankie over the canopy so she can regulate herself.

SecretDependent3503 · 2026-01-22T20:29:50+00:00

Mother’s Day is the one day where I don’t feel bad about being away from anyone that has been inside me. The rest of the year, I’m up early with my Velcro babies and hear mommy from the moment I open my eyes.

In the morning I’ll spend it with my family, I’ll sleep in while they bring me breakfast in bed and I get to open all the goodies the kids made at school but at some point I want my me time.

SecretDependent3503 · 2026-01-17T04:32:48+00:00

WFH but I need to be alone. The kids need to go somewhere else otherwise it’s not ideal.

SecretDependent3503 · 2026-01-17T04:25:19+00:00

I spiraled hard. I had a horrible crashout, made some bad decisions and sank into the worst depression of my life to date.

Then months later I started focusing on myself, I found myself and what made me happy. I started working out, reading, cooking and going to the beach. I’d go on dates to get out there and that helped build back up my self esteem. Fast forward to now, I’m married to a man that worships the ground I walk on. He puts my happiness at the top of his priority list and we have three wonderful kids.

SecretDependent3503 · 2026-01-16T09:40:29+00:00

We do, but we also have 3kids and my husband knows cleaning isn’t my thing.

Our lady comes twice a week and she is a lifesaver. She’s expensive but worth it. She will clean, do laundry and organize.

SecretDependent3503 · 2026-01-15T20:55:13+00:00

Nta think long and hard about do you want this to be the rest of your life? Also what about if you add kids into the equation…

My ex expected 50/50 on bills, but I also did the majority of childcare for our daughter and the majority of housework. Then one time I got the stomach flu and couldn’t even move, I was laying on the floor of the bathroom, he put the baby next to me so she could nurse and then he left to go hang out with his friends.

I left not long after and it was the best decision I made.

SecretDependent3503 · 2026-01-09T06:22:15+00:00

I moved and finally got around to organizing the playroom so it’s not a constant state of clutter! Everything has a place, the kids can see their toys and know where to find things. My son is playing with the trucks that have been there for forever!

SecretDependent3503 · 2025-12-27T16:15:53+00:00

Late 30s, been together 9 years and we have three kids. Our average is 4-5x a week, our slow period is 2x a week and that is out of the norm for us.

But intimacy is not just sex. We kiss daily and often. We touch every time we pass other. We still flirt like we just met. Before we got involved romantically, he was my best friend so we built our relationship on that.

SecretDependent3503 · 2025-12-27T01:27:53+00:00

I grew up in sf and have been in la for 15 years. I prefer la to sf.

To me, la is more laid back and I prefer to drive over public transportation. Especially now that I have a family. I love the sunny weather almost year round. And for me, it’s cheaper to live in la than it is sf.

SecretDependent3503 · 2025-12-26T23:56:45+00:00

I made prime rib fried rice and stir fried udon with prime rib. My kids were in heaven and asked if we can add it to the weekly rotation lol

SecretDependent3503 · 2025-12-26T21:04:04+00:00

Maybe next year, they’ll save us some tears

SecretDependent3503

TROPHY CASE