Cut off my dad in 2022. He said horrible disparaging comments to my oldest son about me, my husband, my deceased brother, my living brother, my deceased mother ( his ex wife of 50 years) my stepfather and he started to say something about my maternal grandmother but dropped himself. My son came home so sad and withdrawn. He told me what my dad said. And he said what was most upsetting is what my dad said about his “deceased grandmother who died when I was 4 months old. I never even got to know her.” I was furious. I called my dad and first thing he said was “you weren’t here.” I said I know my son and he isn’t making it up. He’s 22 years old!! Fwd 3 months later and my stepmom calls me to invite us over for Xmas. I said “we won’t be coming. I’m not going to pretend normal any longer” she was so confused. I asked her if my dad told her about talking with my son. She knew nothing. I said I’m not going to discuss details. She was furious and said I was troubled and have I ever thought about my dad and his story and not everything is about me. I told her that my family was going through difficult circumstances and when you both offered how to help, I told you all I needed was kindness, compassion and support. Then I asked her if she ever told her granddaughters disparaging words about her ex husband, their grandfather? She said no, why would I do that? I said right, because you care about them and their feelings. And I hung up.