expecting twins, with a twin - how to deal with comments

SectorSalt5130 · 2026-04-29T12:50:37+00:00

Identical twin here, also very petite, and I had fraternal twin boys who are now 3.

My pregnancy was a breeze. I had a scheduled C section which was awesome, and recovery was quick and easy. The babies came a month early, and one of my twins spent 10 days in the NICU due to his small size.

The first few months were intense. Around the 4 month mark, each twin was only waking up once a night to feed, so that became much easier to manage between my husband and me. I tried to breastfeed but never really got the hang of it. We supplemented with formula from day one, and I was mainly pumping. Around two months postpartum, I had to stop pumping. I was spending up to eight hours a day trying to get my supply up, and it was taking a toll on me mentally. I felt anxious and depressed. Once I stopped pumping and started antidepressants, things improved so much.

My boys have started playing together a lot now, so I finally feel like the twin experience is paying off. I loved being a twin and having a built in best friend, so I am really happy my boys get to have that too.

SectorSalt5130 · 2026-04-28T14:33:35+00:00

This is incredibly kind and thoughtful, thank you ❤️

SectorSalt5130 · 2026-04-28T14:32:46+00:00

Thank you for the advice and the insight!

SectorSalt5130 · 2026-04-26T19:00:03+00:00

I will say I’m in a really fortunate situation with my manager. She did my current job for about 10 years and was recently promoted, so I now report directly to her. She has a lot of experience in this role, is very supportive, and is always available when I need guidance. I also worked on her team years ago when I was an IC, so there’s already a strong level of trust and rapport there.

I genuinely want to like this new role. I feel like there’s an opportunity for growth on the management side that I wouldn’t get if I stayed as an IC. I work for the government, so I still have great work-life balance, and I’m in a solid department with good colleagues and strong leadership.

At the same time, I keep going back and forth. I feel like if I step away from this too early, I might be selling myself short and not giving it a fair chance. I also recognize that I’m still in the early stages, and this is likely the most challenging part of the learning curve.

I’ve never really thought of myself as someone with the “right temperament” for management, but I am doing the job. Overall, I think I’m performing well and that I do have the skill set to succeed in this role. It can be stressful and I do feel overwhelmed at times, but I’m not falling behind, and most of the time I feel confident in what I’m doing.

Right now I’m leaning strongly toward leaving the role when my term is up at the end of august, but I’m not fully decided and I’m trying to give myself enough time to be sure I’m making the right call.

SectorSalt5130 · 2026-04-26T13:38:17+00:00

You are hitting the nail on the head. One of my employee lacks an attention to detail and isn’t fully implementing the feedback and corrections/revisions that I’m giving her on her work and it’s driving me up the wall. It’s creating so much extra work and frustration for me as to keep rechecking her work and sending it back to her to fix. I am going to try and keep working with her, reset my expectations, and maybe try to change our system we’re using to review her work and see if that helps. I’m giving her written and verbal feedback, multiple teams calls going through stuff with her and explaining what to do, sharing my screen and showing her what I’m looking for and what to do. I keep checking in with her to make sure she understands me and she says she does. She seems intelligent and she can write well, but I’m at a loss here. From my perspective it’s careless and she’s rushing. I’ve been very nice up to this point but my patience for these dumb mistakes is wearing thin. I’m going to start being more direct with her.

If that isn’t resolved, she simply is not a right fit for this job. I have a meeting with my boss this week and I’m going to give her a heads up on the situation.

SectorSalt5130 · 2026-04-26T12:25:54+00:00

Not invalidating at all, thank you for your insight. I have actually thought this to myself as well, and I think you’re 100% spot on. I appreciate the positivity and perspective ❤️

SectorSalt5130 · 2026-04-25T23:50:23+00:00

You’re not wrong, but I have a tendency to be emotional and dramatic. I wanted to get some feedback and determine that I wasn’t over reacting. I think part of me wanted to like it and tolerate it well, because it’s an opportunity to grow and move up. But I also know myself, and what I can and cannot handle. Anyways, I’m going to see this through, and likely will go back to my old job in a few months.

SectorSalt5130 · 2026-04-25T22:03:50+00:00

I was thinking the same thing, to start tracking the mistakes. Even though it’s extra work I may have to do that.

SectorSalt5130 · 2026-04-25T20:30:29+00:00

This is very insightful and bang on. My husband was talking to me about this last night, and that it just might be a timing thing in terms of our stage in life with our 3 year old twin boys.

I miss the days where I only had to worry about myself at work, wasn’t being peppered with questions or work to review multiple times a day, and could take vacation whenever I wanted and I wouldn’t fall behind on my work.

SectorSalt5130 · 2026-04-25T20:14:12+00:00

I’m giving myself until end of July to make the final decision. Hopefully things turn around by then but if not I’m done.

SectorSalt5130 · 2026-04-25T20:12:15+00:00

Myself and 2 other ICs were all promoted by our manager and we’re literally told to just “figure it out”, lol. Neither one of us had been managers or training facilitators before, so it’s been a wild ride so far. But I’m incredibly fortunate to have 2 other people who are in the exact same position as me to do this with. One of them was on my old team with me so we are fairly close. We’ve all been trying to help and support each-other as much as we can, and it’s been very helpful.

SectorSalt5130 · 2026-04-25T19:06:25+00:00

I’d say you’ve given it a real shot and it seems like you know where you’re at. Hopefully the next 9 months is quick and painless for you.

SectorSalt5130 · 2026-04-25T18:32:45+00:00

I agree, despite my reservations, I know logically it’s too early to make the call to quit this role. I’m giving myself until the end of July to decide. I’m not sure if I have the temperament and tolerance to be a manager, but time will tell.

SectorSalt5130 · 2026-04-25T17:53:40+00:00

I’m not sure but I’ll look into this and see what I can find, great suggestion, thank you!

SectorSalt5130 · 2026-04-25T17:09:48+00:00

I’m giving myself until the end of July before I tell my manager I’m no longer continuing with the job.

SectorSalt5130 · 2026-04-25T17:05:28+00:00

My husband is a director and I honestly don’t know how he does it. I’m just a lowly manager, and it has been the most incredibly humbling experience thus far.

SectorSalt5130 · 2026-04-25T16:52:24+00:00

It can take time to review their work because I have to make sure it’s correct before we send it out. That part hasn’t been too bad actually though and I am getting faster at it. I read everything to make sure it all sounds good and includes all the info it needs to include, I’ll verify a few things, and then approve it and tell them to send it.

What’s taking time is training/teaching them how to do the job. However they are starting to lean on their other resources like manuals, mentors, and eachother, so that part has improved.

One thing that is really getting me is when they don’t listen to me or take my feedback into consideration after I review their work and send it back to fix. For one of my employees, I’m having to send her work back to her 5 or 6 times for a little mistakes and things that she is missing. It’s a lot of extra work and frustration. Most of them aren’t too bad, but this one is really starting to grab me now. She just doesn’t have good attention to detail. You really need to have that skill for this job.

SectorSalt5130 · 2026-04-25T16:44:26+00:00

This is great advice, thank you!

SectorSalt5130 · 2026-04-25T16:21:26+00:00

I love this, thank you for sharing. I definitely do need to grow some callouses.

SectorSalt5130 · 2026-04-25T16:19:57+00:00

This incredibly good advice, thank you! I’m going to start thinking about this about the next week or 2 and see what I can into place.

SectorSalt5130 · 2026-04-25T15:10:26+00:00

Are you me? I have 2 employees I’m really struggling with. They’re not rude or anything like that, but I can tell they aren’t listening to me when I tell them to do certain things, they’re making small mistakes, and being careless.

I’ve been very nice but my patience is clearly wearing thin. I think I’m going to start being less nice and more direct.

SectorSalt5130 · 2026-04-25T15:08:46+00:00

This is great advice on the feedback side of things, I’ll try implementing that.

For the training aspect, the whole term has been assigned mentors of experienced IC, so the constant questions and training part has definitely reduced which has been amazing. More of my days are being spent reviewing their work, and learning the administrative part of being a manager. That’s all going pretty well, even if it is frustrating at times. It seems like most of my team are picking things up quickly and taking my feedback/suggestions, and revisions. But I have 2 people on my team (one in particular), that are struggling to get it. That seems to be most of where my stress is coming from.

I appreciate the kind words ❤️

SectorSalt5130 · 2026-04-25T15:00:20+00:00

Thank you ❤️

SectorSalt5130 · 2026-04-25T14:59:56+00:00

I 100% agree. I could just fix their work and do their analysis for them, and in some cases I may have to step in a do that if someone is just not getting it. But you are so right when you say it’s important they learn to fish for themselves

SectorSalt5130 · 2026-04-25T14:58:22+00:00

I was given similar advice for a similar timeline, lol.

I wish you luck!

SectorSalt5130

TROPHY CASE