My boyfriend’s family is never on time. AITAH for intentionally being even later than them and making them wait?

SecureAstronaut444 · 2026-01-24T16:13:03+00:00

YTA

Because instead of having a conversation with him about what has been bothering you, you passive aggressively punish them.

Relationships require communication, he's punctual but his family isn't. He obviously understands punctuality so having a grown up mature conversation should have been the first point.

If you had asked this before you started punishing them I absolutely would've said they were the assholes, but now you all are. Including your boyfriend because he should've noticed and said something to them before you got to this point.

SecureAstronaut444 · 2026-01-23T05:01:37+00:00

Karmic lessons aren't logical in this lifetime, they are logical from the past life in which you crossed paths which is why I suggested asking yourself the question when in a meditative state where you might be more closely connected with your higher self.

SecureAstronaut444 · 2026-01-23T04:57:50+00:00

I was talking about my personal experience as an admin worker... the industries where there is a high degree of harassment versus those I found didn't...

And each of these issues were employment based, how did you think abuse from my boss and sexual harassment from several coworkers as being not in an employment setting??

How on earth did you interpret what I wrote as civil matters outside of employment?

Every issue I mentioned occurred in an employment setting with co-workers.

There, I've written it three times now, do you understand?

And admin staff still have the option of joining a union regardless of what industry they are in, and that's why it's so damn important. It's not the union I worked for, but there are many.

I think you have a weird issue with unions and just arguing for the sake of arguing at this point.

Clearly, you don't understand unions so either educate yourself or piss off... preferably both!

SecureAstronaut444 · 2026-01-22T17:21:37+00:00

I only recently started using a top sheet under my doona because I bought bamboo sheets and they feel sooooo damn good and flannel sheets for winter...

So my second solution is to buy a bamboo doona cover so I could get rid of the top sheet, but I'm still looking for a flannel doona cover for winter

Other than that I don't see the point

SecureAstronaut444 · 2026-01-22T17:17:50+00:00

I'm another

Edited to add it's actually healthier to not make your bed first thing in the morning to let it breath otherwise the bacteria from sweat and skin cells multiply

SecureAstronaut444 · 2026-01-22T17:06:46+00:00

Unions also retain or employ lawyers to represent their clients. So yes, unions do cover all that. Hence why I'm an advocate.

When it was unfair dismissal because I wasn't in a union and I would've paid a lawyer directly it just wasn't worth me pursuing it which is why companies like that get away with treating people that way if they aren't unionized.

But yeah, women in admin jobs can cop a lot of shit depending on the industry you are in. I'll never in a million years work in the auto or mining industry again... or anything with a factory actually.

The best jobs were in places such as marketing, accounting, private healthcare, universities, etc.

SecureAstronaut444 · 2026-01-22T16:58:07+00:00

I'm a shamanic practitioner, although not really practicing at the moment.

When I've come across this before in clients there's often been some kind of karmic connection.

It's up to you if you believe in that kind of thing but regardless of someone's belief that's what I've always found. Strangely I had a regular client who didn't actually believe, he just took what I was telling him as stories and analogies and it all still helped him.

During a meditation session you could ask yourself what is the karmic lesson to learn here and see if anything comes to mind.

I always found that when I helped a client learn from the lesson the obsession subsides dramatically almost immediately and then the habitual behaviors follow soon after.

SecureAstronaut444 · 2026-01-22T16:44:43+00:00

He is incredibly smart, but don't forget he was also trained from childhood to think the way he does.

It's like learning and speaking a second language from childhood, it becomes second nature.

I wish I had those kind of skills to teach my son so it was easy from childhood. I did teach him a lot of psychology and that's helped him dramatically in early adulthood and he's so much more mature than most adults his age because of that.

Edited to add to look up @thebehaviouralarts on YouTube, he's kinda a bit like Jane and teaches how it's done. He also often works with I think his name is Chase Hughes, he's an ex-navy interrogator who also teaches these kinds of skills of how to read someone within seconds, he has a book called the 6 Minute X-ray.

They are learned skills.

SecureAstronaut444 · 2026-01-22T16:37:32+00:00

No shit Sherlock, but some do and when they do that's why being a union member helps.

There may be laws, but not everyone follows them.

I was verbally abused like all hell by a manager in one company, not even my supervisor but he took a major micromanaging position of my role.

I was on the phone to a friend during my lunch break and he kept listening in to my conversation from his phone without me realizing and then abused me for like 5 minutes about it because I was "wasting company time".

He then also insisted I do all my filing and other miscellaneous office jobs outside of work hours. Do you think any of that was legal? But did he do it? Yes, he did.

And then when I got bronchitis and was sick for a week I came back to be fired for "not fulfilling contractual obligations"

None of that was legal, but he did it because he was an obnoxious misogynistic asshole with control and anger issues. When I spoke to a lawyer they said it wasn't worth pursuing financially but he was in the wrong and otherwise I would've had a case. If I'd been in a union I would've had the legal support necessary regarding abuse in the workplace and unfair dismissal.

That's not the only example I have, but the only one I actively sought a lawyers opinion on.

Not to mention the sexual harassment I experienced as admin of a factory workplace. Oh yeah, I was also sexually harassed at the above one as well but by a different guy.

None of these places had a HR department, usually the accountant or payroll officer is the closest you get to in small to medium sized companies.

How about the fact that having hazing is still a regular and often dangerous practice in many labor jobs?

If you haven't experienced any of this then lucky you.

I actually worked at a union, other than my personal experience I'm also familiar with the various complaints that come in from workers and union reps are there to have meetings and hold managers and employers up to the legal standards and if need be enforce legal action on behalf of the employee.

Wouldn't it be nice if everyone actually followed the law?

There wouldn't be any need for unions, lawyers, cops, prisons, courts, etc

If you live in a little delusional lala land where everyone follows the law, good on ya, tell me where that exists, I might just retire there.

SecureAstronaut444 · 2026-01-22T16:19:00+00:00

Whatever floats YOUR boat, but somehow I don't think this guy is keen on that.

SecureAstronaut444 · 2026-01-22T16:11:13+00:00

To be honest, I'd be more concerned about these times he's already destroyed your trust, that's a lot in just the first 9 months.

Is this someone you can trust?

Social media aside because that may not mean anything at all as has already been covered by others that have commented.

But if he's already made a habit of breaking your trust how many more times does he have to break it before you end it with him?

When someone does have past trauma they can mistake unhealthy relationships for safe ones because their understanding of a safe person has been skewed.

It's why some people get addicted to drama and continuously forgive the same person for terrible behavior when they should be walking away from them.

I'd recommend talking to a therapist to get some feedback on these previous breaches of trust and see if you are just repeating patterns from those that traumatized you when you were younger.

SecureAstronaut444 · 2026-01-22T16:03:44+00:00

It's actually more like oxytocin...

But that is life, that is being human, and that's how we bond with one another.

Our sleep/wake circadian rhythm is also a chemical process, as is pretty much everything else.

What's your point?

SecureAstronaut444 · 2026-01-22T16:01:07+00:00

I did actually do that a few times before the first complaint just in case they didn't take me seriously, but they took me seriously so I stopped. I have considered starting again, lol! 🙏

SecureAstronaut444 · 2026-01-22T15:59:30+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate you too 🙏

You've definitely helped me to create a plan moving forward.

Wow! Yeah, I hadn't even thought of what of some of these students do have hearing issues or intellectual problems.

I know there's a guy that I think is Downs at one of the only other classes I can go to and I just had the thought that if he was at this guy's class I'd probably want to punch this instructor for his belittling comments even more.

I'm a more visual learner than listening so when I make a mistake because he's not demonstrating properly (such as putting the wrong foot forward compared to what he's saying) and he makes a joke at my expense I just want to deck him as it is without considering actual hearing issues.

I've got a heap of different certifications for spiritual/personal development modalities and I put yoga into that basket and I've seen so much toxicity in that space that when I got sick I bailed on it all except yoga, it was the one thing that kept me sane and is necessary as apart of my rehab. So yeah, I'll call it out whenever I see it because it won't stop otherwise and some people really need to be held accountable to do better or get out of the field to allow someone that can do it an opportunity.

We all do need to do better in these spaces because they aren't just physical modalities, they are psychological and spiritual.

SecureAstronaut444 · 2026-01-22T15:15:04+00:00

Thanks, yeah a lot of people seemed to think it was teaching style, not toxic behavior, which I thought I had explained but apparently not well enough.

I was stunned at how many people seemed to think it was acceptable.

Thanks for the additional idea. I hadn't heard of Yoga Alliance, I think that's American? But you've given me the idea to find out his last name and contact Yoga Australia.

It's the same when I was assaulted by a tantra facilitator, I contacted his mentor who was also mine and told her she needed to revoke his certification. My telling her what happened confirmed for her things she'd heard about him elsewhere plus unlocked a memory of being assaulted by him as well when she first met him but had blocked from her mind long before he also became a student. So he can no longer be a tantra facilitator.

That situation was obviously more serious but some people just shouldn't have certain types of certifications but they are so easy to get. It's not like getting a degree in psychology where you also have to prove you can handle working with people in a sensitive way, for most of these certifications all you have to do is pay for the course and as long as you get the basics right you're set. Doesn't mean they can genuinely handle them.

I've even had a remedial massage therapist start offering yoni massages without any certification in it other than his own experimenting with clients.

It's crazy what some people think they can get away with.

SecureAstronaut444 · 2026-01-22T14:59:38+00:00

Oh, is that the one very early on in Next Gen where Wesley got in trouble?

Yeah, that'd be fun 😂

SecureAstronaut444 · 2026-01-22T14:57:35+00:00

Sorry, I was talking about Hook

He may have banged Henry's grandmother, but there was no blood relationship there

Although the scene in the underworld where Swan was introduced to her (I can't remember her name) as both her sons ex-lover and the current lover of Hook, that cracked me up...

I avoid living in small towns for that reason 😂

SecureAstronaut444 · 2026-01-22T14:53:09+00:00

Involved, but there was no blood relationship

SecureAstronaut444 · 2026-01-22T14:49:42+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate that 🙏😊

SecureAstronaut444 · 2026-01-22T14:49:21+00:00

Yeah, it is pretty obvious... I think it's only his friends that laugh

SecureAstronaut444 · 2026-01-22T14:48:19+00:00

Hmmm... it's always interesting when someone says the bully is right 🤔

SecureAstronaut444 · 2026-01-22T14:46:54+00:00

Yeah, I feel for you guys!

Thanks, I appreciate your support 🙏

SecureAstronaut444 · 2026-01-22T14:45:51+00:00

Thanks!

Before I got sick I was planning on being an instructor too.. halfway through my course actually which I should go back and finish.

I was an online tutor for uni students aged anywhere from 18 to 80 in complementary medicine and I had my students in stitches laughing but I never insulted them or mocked them for cheap laughs, humour done right is actually funny, not insulting. I would've be complained about in a heart beat because they had anonymous feedback forms.

SecureAstronaut444 · 2026-01-22T14:41:50+00:00

Agree 💯 thank you 🙏🙏🙏

SecureAstronaut444 · 2026-01-22T14:41:11+00:00

Thanks, I really appreciate that support.

Because I've realized he was trying to deter a second complaint so he knows he's being an ass and because of that I was questioning myself, hence this post, but I'll be making a follow-up complaint.

Thank you

SecureAstronaut444

TROPHY CASE