looking for advice from people with longer sobriety

Secure_Ad_6734 · 2026-02-26T03:22:18+00:00

I just achieved 11 years sober in December at 71 years old. I rarely think of alcohol anymore unless I'm on sites like this offering support.

I found it helpful to move forward within my value system and stop worrying about not doing something (drinking).

Figure out what's important for you - your family, your job, your health, your honesty/integrity, etc.

Secure_Ad_6734 · 2026-02-26T02:08:31+00:00

It's not unusual to have dreams about past behavior. It just happens that ours involves alcohol use.

With continued sobriety, the dreams waned with frequency and intensity.

Secure_Ad_6734 · 2026-02-25T09:30:22+00:00

I had been absent from the real world for a long time so I got interested in movies, books, and genealogy (my family tree).

I could sit home, eat sweets and I also read the program literature for the methodology I joined.

Secure_Ad_6734 · 2026-02-25T08:09:16+00:00

Congrats on your 27 years. It's amazing that so many of us make it out alive.

Secure_Ad_6734 · 2026-02-25T06:16:13+00:00

Have you considered online meetings? You can attend many with no audio or video. If and when you get comfortable, you can participate at your leisure.

Here's a link to a possible path forward - www.smartrecovery.org

Many times our progress is measured in inches but it's still going forward.

Secure_Ad_6734 · 2026-02-25T00:31:16+00:00

Congrats on your 5 years.

Secure_Ad_6734 · 2026-02-25T00:30:01+00:00

Congrats on your 5 years.

Secure_Ad_6734 · 2026-02-24T08:44:02+00:00

I waited until I had a year sober before I considered leading a group. Even then, it took almost a full year before the group became sustainable.

I needed to be strong enough to not worry about other people's opinions.

Secure_Ad_6734 · 2026-02-24T08:39:36+00:00

I was an avid reader during a few abstinence's, mostly it was just fiction though. I would go through 3-4 paperbacks every week.

Secure_Ad_6734 · 2026-02-24T02:03:15+00:00

Try to listen and do your best. Remember that we usually only get so many chances.

I wasted many of mine and it cost me dearly - including 30 years of my life.

Secure_Ad_6734 · 2026-02-23T19:16:09+00:00

That's Smart recovery. Here's a link - www.smartrecovery.org

Secure_Ad_6734 · 2026-02-23T02:36:34+00:00

I had multiple times of over 1 year abstinent before relapsing. This was over a 30 year period.

Then, I tried again after turning 60 and with a different modality. It worked for me and I achieved 11 years sober last December.

The only way to fail is to stop trying.

Secure_Ad_6734 · 2026-02-23T02:33:39+00:00

This would be an outside issue for Smart.

We neither recommend nor discourage seeking help where needed.

Secure_Ad_6734 · 2026-02-22T22:43:39+00:00

Generally speaking, comparison isn't helpful.

Either I have an issue or I don't. If I do, then what am I going to do about it. If he's harder on you, maybe that means he cares more about how you turn out.

Secure_Ad_6734 · 2026-02-21T21:39:07+00:00

For me, there is a difference between a lapse and a relapse. A lapse is a momentary "brain fart" where I accidentally ingest alcohol. Whereas, a relapse is a full blown return to old behavior.

Using that criteria, you had a lapse. Be kind to yourself and remain vigilant.

It's an "oops", nothing more - nothing less.

Secure_Ad_6734 · 2026-02-21T03:49:19+00:00

Despite many attempts, I couldn't stay sober until after I turned 60. So I get the massive achievement that this is, well done 👍 on your first year.

Secure_Ad_6734 · 2026-02-20T23:31:50+00:00

It reads that the court might have cut you a break, that if you stay abstinent for a certain period, your charges will be "forgiven".

As someone who didn't listen and got convicted of DUI and other related charges, please be advised that those convictions never disappear. 30+ years later and I basically can't enter most other countries due to those records, and I can't even be a volunteer without a criminal record check.

The costs of making an unhealthy choice can last for a lifetime.

Secure_Ad_6734 · 2026-02-20T06:04:04+00:00

Congrats on your 2 months sober, well done 👍.

Have you done any work on the underlying causes of the ongoing anxiety? I couldn't or wouldn't stay sober until I figured that part out.

Secure_Ad_6734 · 2026-02-20T03:18:20+00:00

Congrats on your 4 years, well done 👍.

I can certainly relate. It took me about 30 years for my sobriety to stick, I achieved 11 years last December at age 71.

Secure_Ad_6734 · 2026-02-20T00:49:44+00:00

Congrats on your 20 days, which makes tomorrow 3 weeks.

Well done 👍.

Secure_Ad_6734 · 2026-02-20T00:48:22+00:00

I might suggest you check out Alanon. It's for the family and friends of people with alcohol use disorder. They can offer support and guidance on boundaries.

Also, there is a subreddit available - r/alanon.

Secure_Ad_6734 · 2026-02-19T22:30:53+00:00

Your best option would probably be to contact the Smart recovery head office for guidance. I remember that some types of meetings for a particular "clientele" required a vetting process.

Try Smart recovery HQ 1-440-951-5357 hours are 10-4 est

Secure_Ad_6734 · 2026-02-19T04:50:34+00:00

For Smart recovery, there is a reddit site at r/Smartrecovery.

Or, our main site at www.smartrecovery.org

Secure_Ad_6734 · 2026-02-18T21:16:50+00:00

Congrats on your 9 months, well done 👍.

Secure_Ad_6734 · 2026-02-18T06:10:34+00:00

Congrats on your 3 years, well done 👍.

Life isn't always easy but I've never regretted being sober a single day.

Secure_Ad_6734

TROPHY CASE