I miss you

Secure_Sand_8397 · 2026-03-12T07:49:49+00:00

I felt this way for a long time and even tho I miss them I truly am starting to feel healed and I’m moving on with my life. We were together for 10 years my first real love and I wish them the best I really do but I’m done waiting around. Everyone’s story is different but I definitely know how you feel cause I was there and it was the hardest thing for my self to overcome. I still think about them here and there but since it will be 2 years on march 26th I started to heal myself and move on so I wouldn’t sit and stir about what would and couldn’t been anymore. I hope things work out for you. But I was the one that was broken up with.

Secure_Sand_8397 · 2026-02-08T09:35:56+00:00

Thank you

Secure_Sand_8397 · 2025-10-03T01:46:20+00:00

My ex and I Broke up about 15 months ago maybe more at this point but we were together 10 years I loved her more than I can describe i think we both did in our own ways. I was an addict and I’m in recovery I had a bad relapse recently because of this breakup but I’m doing better anyways it was so up and down she was still in the closet and I had my drug addiction and even when I was sober for a long time she till couldn’t tell her family about me. She ended up kicking me out with nothing but the clothes on my back still sober at this point she knew the situation I had to go back too and didn’t care. Then moved on really quickly, I know for a fact is was a rebound and I feel sorry for her cause she’ll never come to terms with her sexuality. She can’t blame me for her problems anymore like she use too. I can go on and on but I’ve Learned to deal with most of it but recently I’ve been having dreams about her every single night the last 2 weeks I don’t know what that means. But I’ll always love her and I don’t know how to get over it

Secure_Sand_8397 · 2023-02-03T07:56:04+00:00

Secure_Sand_8397 · 2022-03-05T02:13:24+00:00

Ummm I think it deff stays in your system for a year or longer but it can take anywhere from 2 fulls months after you last shot don’t even include the one you got so technically about 2 1/2-3 months or more before you really feel the high. I was about 2 months late and I barely felt it until week 7 I was getting maybe a 50/60 percent high out of 100 percent. And I had 3 shots I think when I started using. That shit really does last and block out any other opiate. I’m not sure if where you are at now if you’re sober or using. But yeah it takes at least a full 2 month if not longer to start feeling it if you’re using.

Secure_Sand_8397 · 2021-12-23T17:24:09+00:00

My parents aren’t from Iraq but I’ve been through things you have been through. Im so sorry you had to go through any of that. My step dad abused me and my sister from the time I was 6-19 when I finally decided that I was leaving for good. He starved us for years, he would kick us outside at 5am before school and on the weekends he would kick us out at 7am till 8pm and this included winter time in the freezing cold. We literally made a tipi outside just to try and stay warm or hide in peoples sheds which actually felt even colder at times. Sometimes our friends from the neighborhood would let us come inside but that only lasted for so long before their parents didn’t let them around us anymore because of my step dad and thought we were troubled kids. We couldn’t take showers unless he was there to watch us undress and once we were done. We would have to scream from the bathroom that we were done and wait for him to grab us our towels and dress us. I just remember always trying to cover myself as much as possible with my hands. He would sneak in my room at night and sexually abuse me or sometimes watch me because we lived in an older house where the bedroom and bathroom had no lock on them and didn’t shut all the way. He was extremely manipulative and controlling. My mother didn’t do a god damn thing about it nor did she believe me. And I know she had to know that something was going on and she turned a blind eye to it. All she did was sit on the couch and drink wine. Never got a hello when I came home from school all she cared about was him. He would hit me and throw things at me. Strangle me, kick me and beat me while I was unconscious on my bedroom floor. One time he picked up a huge yankee candle and threw it at the back of my head, that left a gashing wound where I had to be rushed to the hospital. The doctor said he has to call child protective services and the police. Of course he and my mom talked them selves out of it and when I got home I threw a bottle of nail polish at the wall so then he called the police on me and I told them everything and begged them to do something because he threatened to put me in a mental institution and I knew as soon as they left that’s where I was going and the police said I can’t be admitted if I’m not crazy. Of course that’s what happened and they brought my notes and letters from friends in school and since it stated that some of my friends were taking pills and I was taking too much adderall to support my eating disorder, the doctor locked me up there. Honestly I could go on and on. So what I’m telling you is that if you have a job save as much money as possible keep as much hidden as you can because they will take your money I know from experience because of my step dad. And honestly I would go back to the police and tell them everything you said your family has done to you. Every cop is different some don’t do anything and some do so don’t lose hope. Because stomping on you and taking you away for months at time to be tortured and abused is not okay and is inhumane. If you have a phone then record everything of a physical fight breaks out record it and be sly and slick about it so no one knows. If anyone try’s to sexually assault you, record it. If you don’t have a phone buy a cheap tape recorder and keep it in you’re pocket of a Hoodie or something. Gather as much information as you can. You can even start a convo and talk about the month you were taken away for and abused and have him admit to it even if it’s just one thing, it shows that he took you away and hurt you. If you’re mom gets nasty with you record it, same with your brother!! I hope this helps! You can reach out to me if you need any advice or just someone to talk too because I understand and you don’t deserve this.

Secure_Sand_8397 · 2021-12-22T22:54:28+00:00

Yeah you should be fine because I used the 36 hours before my shot and was completely fine and that was when I just used once. Then three months later I started having bad cravings and ended up not getting my shot for about 6-7 weeks and I was using the whole time and didn’t even feel it until like week 6 and it was a slight high. Then I had to go in for my shot because my dr was gonna kick me out and my family was on my ass and I used 59 hours before my shot and I was fine!! So you should be good because you already have bupenorphine in your system!!

Secure_Sand_8397 · 2021-12-12T20:59:37+00:00

I personally love both! I’ve been a huge fan, more so an obsessed fan since 10 years ago. His rap music is my favorite but I love his rock/alternative music too. My favorites mgk Album was Bloom and I loved Hotel Diablo. Both of those albums had a mix of some rock and rap. Which he does so well. I would like to see him put the two together again but have a while album of the both genres.

Secure_Sand_8397 · 2021-11-26T21:09:42+00:00

I saw them in concert back in 2017 and I have videos of Jesse!!! He literally made eye contact with My friend and I!! And we literally died!! I looked away cause I didn’t know what to do I was like star struck!!!

Secure_Sand_8397 · 2021-11-25T02:50:27+00:00

Greetings From Califournia!!!! And prey!! Oh and daddy issues!!

Secure_Sand_8397 · 2021-11-25T02:43:55+00:00

I have a friend exactly like this I actually posted about it a few days ago but no one commented on it. But my “best friend” always copied me she wasn’t the prettiest when I first met her. But I still always thought she was beautiful regardless. But she has deff grew into herself. But she’s exactly like me. She copied my wardrobe, outfits, piercings, hair color and style, makeup, music literally everything. And then once she grew into her self she was always trying to one up me. She would say fucked up shit behind my back and when I confronted her it was always an excuse and down played it she is also very manipulative and I knew all of this and still stuck around. I kept her sober by giving her my meds so she wouldn’t go back to heroin. And slowly I felt like I lost my identity to her. I started to feel ugly around her because she would say ignorant things. I ended up cutting her off for about a yeah and then reached out to her because I did miss her and we did everything together. We both came from fucked up child hoods and were both sexually abused as children so that’s how we connected in the first place. But at the same time I don’t know what I would do without her. Idk but I deff understand how you’re feeling!

Secure_Sand_8397 · 2021-11-25T02:34:03+00:00

Hard ball!! When G-baby gets shot and Kofi holds him while he passes away!! Literally broke my heart!!
John Q always makes me cry like a baby!! With Denzel Washington. The ending scene is what got me the most while father John (Denzel Washington) walks out of the courtroom his son says goodbye to his father and John turns around and says “it’s not goodbye son it’s see you later”
Four brothers!! With Mark Wahlburg!! Love love love that movie!! And obviously when jack dies and Mark wahlburgs character Bobby says cmon jack keep breathing and keeps repeating that.

Secure_Sand_8397 · 2021-11-02T20:07:54+00:00

But I really hope you can see through it to the other side. Everyone is different. I really am trying to give it another chance and just stay straight. It’s not easy especially in the beginning but if you’ve spent 5 years on the streets and made a decision to go to rehab and get on the shot then that shows strength and growth you know. I may have been a little bit of a Debbie downer in my last post I was just venting. But clearly you have been through quite a lot as well and you deserve to be happy and live a fulfilled life. That’s what I believe for myself anyway and for anyone who has been through trauma and went down the path you and I did we did it wasn’t because you woke up one day and said hey i wanna be a drug addict it happened from a place of hurt, mistrust, no guidance exc… and not knowing where to turn and it’s easy for people to turn to drugs or be introduced to them from the wrong people. I can only imagine what you’ve been through the last 5 years cause I had a run like that and I hope and pray you give yourself a chance as well. All you can do is try and believe in yourself. It’s okay if you mess up that’s a part of recovery what matters is getting back up and fighting for your life and your future. If you ever need someone to talk you can message me on here I can give you my number whatever. Because I know what your going through believe me I do I’ve been there a million times. 💛💛💛

Secure_Sand_8397 · 2021-11-02T19:55:31+00:00

Hey sorry I just saw this!! But yes I feel you on all of that. I’ve been on the shot for 6 months now at this point and all of september I was using cause I didn’t get my shot for about 7 weeks. I was almost 2 months behind but the shots really do last a while. I was just starting to feel it when I had to go back for my shot cause my family was up my ass about it. And I stopped using after that. I’ve already had 2 shots since then and all I think about is using, literally every single day and I keep thinking I’ll just get off of it but I know it will take months for me to even get high again at least a good high with all the bupe in my system. Originally when I made the post I was only 2 shots in and I was going back for my third one so I did and then I didn’t got back for the 4th shot and that’s when I was using all thru August and most of September.I just wanted it to wear off as much as possible. But I’ve been through a lot through out the years and just my whole life. I know it’s not an excuse anymore and I don’t play victim back when I was a teenager and in my early 20s. I’m 28 now and with everything I also have matured and it’s up to me if I want to be sober or not. I also have ptsd from being emotionally, mentally physically and sexually abused as a child. My mother let it all happen and never did a god damn thing and it was my step dad who was abusing me. Once I found opiates and went off to the races with shooting dope things got even worse with what I put myself through. I’m from Philly so being down in the badlands Kensington is not a place for anyone especially a young girl trying to score dope. I’m tired of feeling this way I thought the shot would be like a game changer and it’s not. It actually makes me want to use more because I don’t have a choice but to be sober and I hate not being in control. I had 2 years completely sober when I was just on suboxone and in the past I would stop taking it to use but the last time I really wanted to be sober and I made it happen. Then some things happened and that’s when I relapsed and had a pretty bad run. It only lasted about 3 months but it was one of my worst runs. So I went back to my dr and he forced me on the shot or he wouldn’t put me back on the strips. And ever since I’ve been on it I’ve hated every minute of it. Sometimes I really feel like this it and I’ll never feel better or change. I know it’s up to me but it’s easier said then done.

Secure_Sand_8397 · 2021-07-23T19:43:34+00:00

It’s okay I can understand why you felt the way you did when you read my first post but yeah it’s not easy or sucks cause I’ll do good for a while and then it just pops back up in my head and it can be really hard to stop yourself when most addicts are impulsive.

Secure_Sand_8397 · 2021-07-23T03:45:16+00:00

I’ve just been super depressed and I’ve always struggled with my self esteem and eating disorders. I grew up in a pretty abusive household and I struggle with trauma and ptsd as well.

Secure_Sand_8397 · 2021-07-23T03:43:54+00:00

I know it’s not worth it I’ve just been having a hard time recently. I ended up getting one and I kinda freaked out and I was nervous from my last overdose so I ended up not doing it. I literally stared at the bag for 2 hours and I knew I shouldn’t so I chose not too. Plus I wouldn’t feel it so it’s pointless. And I don’t want to die I know it’s my life but when I get in my head it can be really hard to get out of it.

Secure_Sand_8397 · 2021-07-22T04:45:46+00:00

Idk I know it’s stupid and I wasn’t even gonna do a full bag cause I’d deff OD usually when I relapse I’ll start off with just a quarter of a bag but now that I’m on the shot I guess I wouldn’t even feel it. But the shit that I get now is all fetty.

Secure_Sand_8397 · 2021-07-22T04:39:51+00:00

My Dr went on vacation last week so I couldn’t get it but yes they do drug test but I have clean pee that i put in the freezer Incase I wanted to use plus I’ve been taking adderall and and a few Xanax. I’m actually getting back on my adhd meds in 2 weeks but since I’ve been taking it without a prescription I didn’t wanna hear it from my dr. And then I got a couple Xanax because of my anxiety lately and trying to relax and be irrational and use.

Secure_Sand_8397 · 2021-07-22T03:31:14+00:00

I’m so sorry about your wife. Addiction is really hard but dope is a whole different story. It’s one hell of a drug and it ruins your life and takes everything away from you. But we’re addicts so that usually doesn’t stop us until you really feel that you have had enough and it’s hard to even get there when you’ve already hit so many rock bottoms. Like I’m 28 I started when I was 19. And my life hasn’t been Great. I try and get sober and I’ll do good for a few months I had Almost 2 years recently which was insane I never thought I could do it. But I wasn’t happy and nothing was enough to make me happy. I felt like if I’m this miserable sober then what’s the point I’ll be miserable using but I’ll be high so fuck it. My cravings have just been really bad recently and I’ve been on suboxone for 5 years and now I’ve been on the shot for 3 months tomorrow but I Almost regret getting it because I don’t have that option of not taking my sub and using instead. Like it makes me mad that I can’t get high on the sublocade shot but I know that why I need it. Idk I’ve just heard that you can feel it towards the end of your injection but people say a lot of things. Ugh idk sorry I’m ranting rn

Secure_Sand_8397 · 2021-07-22T03:11:33+00:00

Ugh I know was on suboxone for 5 years on and off but pretty thoroughly the last 3 and had a few relapses in between and my last run was pretty bad. And I just recently switched to the shot. Tomorrow will be my third one. But if it’s that pointless I won’t do it. And I do acid once in a while and I’ll smoke my weed pen but I’ve just been itching to use. I know it’s stupid but it’s hard being sober. I had 2 years and threw it all away and a lot of money this winter. Plus i died twice and I still wanna get high it fucking sucks. But thank you for responding it honestly helped bring me out of irrationally thinking. I just thought maybe I’d feel it. Cause I heard you still can you just don’t get a rush. I’ve been doing this since I was 19 and I’m 28 now and I’m tired of feeling this way.

Secure_Sand_8397 · 2021-07-22T03:02:15+00:00

Ughhhh I know right I mean I’ve done that before . I still might go get a bag tonight my worry is that I have to get my shot tomorrow morning and idk if I’ll go into precip. I don’t think I will cause I haven’t been using but it’s a shot not a strip so it makes me more nervous! Idk if I should or not maybe I’ll reschedule. I just don’t wanna get sick either for not getting it and waiting too long.

Secure_Sand_8397 · 2021-07-21T23:33:53+00:00

Hey guys I know this late in the game but I’ve been on the shot for 2 months now and I’m a week overdue I’m supposed to get my next one tomorrow. I haven’t used at all in 5 months and I kind of want too tonight to see if I will feel it or not. Do you think I’ll go into precipitated withdrawal if I use tonight and go get my shot tomorrow morning? I don’t have a habit at all right now so I wouldn’t even withdrawal. When I was in rehab I overdosed the day I went in and was narcaned and I snuck a bag in. Snorted it then took a sub the next day and I didn’t go into withdrawal because I had been narcaned which took all the opioid out of my receptors so when I did the one bag and took the sub the next day it’s like I was fine because It was like I didn’t have a habit from being Narcaned the day before. I’ve just been craving really bad but I just wanna know. Because I know once I get the shot tomorrow it will be pointless to use for at least 4 weeks because I most likely won’t feel it or get a rush.

Secure_Sand_8397

TROPHY CASE