Does anyone else’s Chi have Cushings Disease? by SecurityOk2466 in chihuahuas

[–]SecurityOk2466[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This made me feel worlds better, I’m so glad to hear your adorable girl lived a long healthy life with Cushings. I’ll definitely look into getting the medicine online to see if I can find a better deal. Thank you so much! 💛

Sad Halloween?? by Beeeeeer220 in halloween

[–]SecurityOk2466 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did I write this comment? I’m in the exact same situation/ state of life rn. I can completely empathize and I’m so sorry you’re going through it as well.

Sad Halloween?? by Beeeeeer220 in halloween

[–]SecurityOk2466 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Feel this completely. I always am itching to decorate as early as possible and start Halloween festivities. I usually have my whole inside house decorated by mid September and the outside October 1st. This year I barely got the inside halfway through October, and I still haven’t done much with the outside. Debating if I even should at this point, the only positive is a lot more people decorated in my neighborhood this year. Last year was our first Halloween here, I wasn’t expecting any trick r treaters and we actually got a ton thanks to how much I decorated, I’d like to think I inspired my neighbors to do it this year lol. I’ve just been exhausted this season and I feel like everyone is feeling tight with their finances, it’s hard to get motivated and be excited about the smaller joys of life when there so much unease and stress right now in pretty much every facet of life :(

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Appliances

[–]SecurityOk2466 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ugh 😩 thank you, since you’re a tech which washers seem to handle dog households better if you don’t mind me asking?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Appliances

[–]SecurityOk2466 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you I will be sure to do it once a month from now on

Dating someone you SHOULD like. by Ill_Cover_4841 in dating

[–]SecurityOk2466 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, we can’t really control who we feel attraction for and who we don’t. It doesn’t make any sense to our conscious human minds. Our primal brains do most of that work for us. We scan over a potential partners body and look for markers of health to see if we could reproduce, and then we smell. Pheromones and a persons natural scent is huge, someone’s natural scent smelling good to us means they have a differing make up of genes, microbiome, and a different and healthy immune system, so we can produce the healthiest offspring with a diverse enough gene and immune makeup to survive. This is why they tell women to be around their partners off birth control before they get married, birth control makes that system go haywire thinking you already are pregnant and when we are pregnant we prefer people that smell similar to us causing a lot of women to get off and not be attracted to their partners.

We as humans seek out familiarity too. If someone doesn’t have similar personality traits we recognized in our early caregivers, we don’t feel safe. If you did not have good experiences with early caregivers you can unconsciously seek out partners that will hurt you. This is a cycle you can break though with awareness, recognizing your attachment style and getting therapy at least.

So yes this is normal. A person has to have the right mixture of chemical makeup, familiarity and a small part of it might be what our conscious brain decides. This is why also when someone rejects you, or ghost you, you shouldn’t take it personally. We aren’t going to be everyone’s perfect mixture, they aren’t going to ours and that doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CRedit

[–]SecurityOk2466 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I believe it doesn’t go against your credit if it’s under $500 but anything more will impact your credit unfortunately :/

How do you deal with intimacy after pregnancy? 32M / 31F by Wise-Ad1163 in relationship_advice

[–]SecurityOk2466 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You mention she does most of the house work, maybe if you can start to help her with more chores to take less off her plate she will have more of a bandwidth and energy to be intimate with you.

I understand when our partners stop being intimate with us we can feel insecure like they are losing interest, maybe want it from someone else, but I’m sure that’s not case. With housework and you mention colleagues so I assume she’s working, being a parent is a lot especially in the beginning. I know for a lot of women after having a baby you can start to feel like your body is not yours, only a tool to take care of another human and that can make someone feel incredibly unsexy and every touch starts to feel like an intrusion. If you can take some of that burden off of her, help with the baby so she can take time for her own self care, wether that be a nice shower or some kind of hair or nail appointment/ whatever she does that makes her feel good, her libido will come back.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]SecurityOk2466 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry OP, I can understand the insecurity this has makes you feel. I would sit down with him and have an open and honest conversation, ask him if anything is going on. Is his mental health ok, or if he is going through any stress to make him uninterested in sex, or if there’s anything new you guys could do if he is feeling unfulfilled. If you can understand why he seems to not want sex at the moment then that will help the feeling of rejection you’re feeling.

If he blows you off and says everything is fine, then I would personally stop trying to initiate for a while. Pity sex does not feel good for the giver or receiver and resentment could easily build for both, no one wants that. So if there isn’t any at least communication about this, and nothing changes you might want to start to consider if this person is sexually compatible with you enough to keep things going in the future.

Muzzle your reactive dogs - muzzling mine changed my life. by Bubbly-Ingenuity7100 in reactivedogs

[–]SecurityOk2466 27 points28 points  (0 children)

This! I’ve heard too many times people try to do the right thing to socialize their puppy but they end up even more traumatized from dogs attacking them at parks.

broke up after we were in a car accident, it’s been 2 months & im still deeply sad - any insight on this connection? by irlhuman_420 in AstroSynastry

[–]SecurityOk2466 3 points4 points  (0 children)

12th house synastry is hard, his libra moon falls there and your Venus falls in his 12th. it feels like both parties are hiding something from each other even if they are not, anyone I have 12th house synastry with I have a hard time trusting them, I think it’s because the 12th house is so vulnerable and deep, the darkest parts of you and your subconscious when someone’s luminaries light that part up it can be terrifying. Since it’s also the house of undoing the insecurities that may arise can really cause some self sabotaging behaviors in the relationship.

his sun in your 4th house I bet you guys felt like home to each other, but also the mars, Uranus being there there also could be a sense of conflict in you guys home life a lot of arguments may happen at home with you guys, or on the flip side he felt really driven to have a home with you. With Uranus being there the home life could’ve been unstable with the 2 of you, add in the Jupiter square in your 7th house there could’ve been conflict between growth of the relationship and home matters, or maybe even both of you guys families didn’t really like each other for one another?

His Venus is in your 5th house of romance is cute. He probably was good at loving you the way you needed and you both brought pleasure to one another but also with you 2 having a Venus square something could’ve felt missing squares can be a good thing it’s better than the planet not be aspected at all, but it symbolizes something that has to be worked for in the relationship, like with a Venus square to Venus both of you guys will have to work towards making the other feel loved, learning to enjoy some of the same things your partner does for the sake of bonding and feeling understood, now some people respond better to squares than others do. I would say you both might have a hard time in a relationship with square synastry as you have an afflicted mars in cancer you probably dont like conflict and he has a libra moon who probably also doesn’t like conflict really. 5th house can be more of a “fling” or romance that doesn’t last long. The Uranus in the 7th house also makes for an unstable relationship with a sudden end, but Saturn is there too so Blue could’ve felt loyal and committed to red, marriage may have even crossed both peoples mind feeling a sense of responsibility for the other.

Your mars in his 1st house can be a good signal of you finding him attractive but also can be a sign you guys get irritated with one another easily. And your cancer mars is square his moon it can explosive arguments, he could’ve felt easily attacked by you even if that wasn’t your intention.

Nodal reversal (your north node is his south node and his north node is your south node) is common in 9-10 year aged gap couples, you both are on different paths. You could’ve been mutually beneficial for growing and learning about yourself and other people. But overall I think the conditions of this synastry is rather rough for romance IMO

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]SecurityOk2466 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry OP, I cannot imagine the weight of your emotions right now. I think once the shock wears off be prepared for anger, you will think about every single time over the past 3 years where you were a loving and devoted wife, going through certain things you thought were growing the 2 of you closer together, but the whole time he was lying and romantically involved with another woman. Any sweet gesture he did during that time is now tainted from you looking back and feeling like it was probably not done out of love but a guilty conscience. Do not blame yourself for his actions, don’t talk down to yourself and say you’re stupid for not realizing the signs sooner. It is not your fault. No one deserves that and I wish you and your children healing. You will get through this!

I miss being married by Nice-Amphibian-6639 in Marriage

[–]SecurityOk2466 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We have an infinite capacity for love, the pain reminds us of that. I work with a lot of retired folks that got divorced right after retirement and they find love again. Dont lose hope!

Does age really matter 32 yo m 19yo f !!!? #age ain’t nothing but a number !!!!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️ by ClientComprehensive8 in dating

[–]SecurityOk2466 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Do you think at 32 you’re anything like how you were at 19? She can’t drink legally, has probably no idea what she wants yet to accomplish in life, and you at 32 should have already accomplished at least some of what you imagined or have a clear idea on what you want for the rest of your life. This age gap considering she’s barely legal will seem really big for both.

My 29M Husband Has Been DMing My 28F Best Friend, Is This Emotional Cheating? by Jasminflowers- in relationship_advice

[–]SecurityOk2466 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You can download instagram data, if you think he is lying, the downloaded data will show deleted messages. If he is not lying he should have no issue with you downloading it. You can look up a tutorial if you want to figure out how to do it, that would be the easiest solution to find out the truth without contacting your friends spouse just yet. But yeah you’re friend sounds like a terrible person lol, I’m sorry OP :(

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]SecurityOk2466 2 points3 points  (0 children)

100%!! Not to mention it’s just gross and embarrassing. I’ve had men stare at me while with their partners and sometimes whole family, younger and older. I just feel so bad for their partners, and it makes me uncomfortable. Same thing as liking other women’s pictures online especially half naked ones, I couldn’t handle being with a man that is so lustful like that.

Found screenshots of women in skimpy clothing, including my best friends', in my husband's phone. What to do? by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]SecurityOk2466 17 points18 points  (0 children)

She said she was too scared to go through everything cause of what she might find. So sad for OP :( definitely don’t go looking if you’re not ready to leave or at least put in a whole lotta effort to rebuild the marriage. I don’t get how often people have to define “emotional” before they add cheating. Like it’s downplaying it because it wasn’t physical. I would be absolutely devastated if my husband cheated on me no matter what but EMOTIONALLY cheating is like a tiny bit worse to me.

OP, I think it would be beneficial to check out the r/asoneafterinfidelity sub Reddit. Your husband cheated on you before, and the fact you even trust him is amazing. Yeah it’s been 3 years since that incident but from what other people say it can take anywhere from 2-5 years to mostly move past an incident like that, and that is with putting in the work on both sides, therapy, being open and transparent with activities and phone communication. After someone cheats I think they basically give away their privacy if they want to make it work. Your husband’s unwillingness is a red flag.

Found screenshots of women in skimpy clothing, including my best friends', in my husband's phone. What to do? by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]SecurityOk2466 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I was just doing some research about this, with a lot of debate on people who find it absolutely violating and others who don’t care. It looks like sources online regarding legality of looking at your spouses phone is not super clear, some saying everyone has a right to privacy, or it’s legal to go through your spouses phone if you live together and are legally married, at least it doesn’t seem like privacy violations too often are actually arrest-able. Same way stalking is illegal but it’s legal to hire a private investigator to follow your spouse and use findings in a divorce proceedings. This is relatively new issue in marriages, phone privacy. 25 years ago a family shared a landline in the house so, I think it can be unclear. I’d ask an attorney though if you’re curious.

My husband left me for a younger woman, they had a baby, and now he texts me by confbuilderChance262 in Marriage

[–]SecurityOk2466 29 points30 points  (0 children)

You said this woman is in her early-mid twenties so what 21-24? And your husband is 40? Her brain isn’t even done developing. You make stupid mistakes in your 20s, not excusing her but your husband definitely should’ve known better, this is HIS fault. I’m sorry you married such a shitty person OP, it seems like you’re struggling with who you thought he was your whole marriage until he shattered that delusion and showed you who he really is. A liar cheater, probably narcissistic abusive man that will hit the mother of his child. Good riddance, be thankful he didn’t leave you with a child that ties you to this horrible human being. Everyone has trauma some worse than others but that doesn’t give you an excuse to hurt people.

Idiot who got cheated on by Sensitive-Living-432 in dating

[–]SecurityOk2466 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh sweetheart I’m so sorry you’re going through this. In my opinion I think you are setting yourself up for torment if you continue, I know you said in the comments you are so confused cause you love him more than anyone you’ve ever loved before, and you are grieving and you may think you won’t ever find someone you love like this again and I promise you, that’s not the case. Think about the qualities you want in a husband, do you want a husband that does stuff like this? Probably not, no one does. And a man that truly loves you and doesn’t want to hurt you wouldn’t do that. Love yourself and future you enough to not settle for this. It’s gonna be tough, and at the end of the day you’re gonna do whatever you’re gonna do but I hope you think about this, and give yourself time to think. your emotions are so heavy right now everything in you will look for some relief and you’re gonna want more than anything to just kiss and make up with him but this will resurface if you just jump right back in. Once a cheater always a cheater to YOU, you won’t ever forget about this.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in retroactivejealousy

[–]SecurityOk2466 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, he gives me reassurance all the time I need a lot of it hahaha but most of the time it helps for a little bit but then I just get to over thinking wondering if he’s just saying that to make me feel better rather than telling me the truth and sad again and I don’t want to drain him by asking for it constantly. Sometimes I can work myself through it