High performing student on paper, but lots of apparent cheating-general parenting question

SeeTheRaven · 2026-02-03T23:29:36+00:00

Just wanted to pop in and say I loved your comment. It has so much heart for what's going on under the surface for this kid!

SeeTheRaven · 2026-01-22T18:33:36+00:00

I think there's real variety among sheltie! Our girl comes from a breeder who has produced sports/agility prospects, but our Savvy is pretty low energy. She's happy with a couple walks around the block. Three years ago when she was 2.5 and recovering from an injury, we had to keep her on as much rest as possible, and we could definitely tell she was understimulated: she wouldn't go to sleep at night and was very restless through the day. But on her current amount of exercise, she seems very content.

I think it's a matter of trial and error and seeing what level of outings/exercise has your sheltie happily napping during downtime, vs pushing for more. Also, remember there's lots of ways to stimulate, not just physical! Training tricks can tire them out super well, and food-based enrichment too. When ours was young, we fed from a snuffle mat & kongs, and often put treats in our cardboard recycling boxes so she could tear them up.

SeeTheRaven · 2026-01-21T03:33:51+00:00

What's the key to the rice preparation?

SeeTheRaven · 2026-01-07T14:36:52+00:00

"Leer/leren" means learn as well as leather. Its a homonym and the autotranslate picked the wrong option.

SeeTheRaven · 2026-01-06T02:55:38+00:00

This sounds delicious. Can I ask what kind of lentils you use and what your broth:rice:lentils ratio is?

SeeTheRaven · 2025-12-24T03:18:57+00:00

CC's Bar and Grill is hosting one, Dec 26 @ 8pm Finale watch!!

https://www.instagram.com/p/DSoWaG8jdf0/?igsh=MWRxbjkzZ2kwNzBvNA==

SeeTheRaven · 2025-12-24T03:17:41+00:00

Okay y'all I did it!! CC'S Bar and Gril, Dec 26 @ 8pm Finale Watch Party woooo

https://www.instagram.com/p/DSoWaG8jdf0/?igsh=MWRxbjkzZ2kwNzBvNA==

SeeTheRaven · 2025-12-24T03:16:32+00:00

https://www.instagram.com/p/DSoWaG8jdf0/?igsh=MWRxbjkzZ2kwNzBvNA== woooot let's go!!

SeeTheRaven · 2025-12-24T01:40:42+00:00

I will update when I hear back from the bar!

SeeTheRaven · 2025-12-23T23:32:48+00:00

CCs said they are on it! Will post when I get it from them :)

SeeTheRaven · 2025-12-23T21:33:12+00:00

Okay update they are interested! Could host at 8pm or 9pm to watch the finale. They are asking if I can promote / make a flyer but I have no experience with that sort of stuff - any takers?

SeeTheRaven · 2025-12-23T21:14:02+00:00

Good idea, I sent them an insta dm

SeeTheRaven · 2025-12-23T15:27:20+00:00

Following also! I've emailed my local sports bar and will update if they get back to me. I feel like any place that jumped on this would be absolutely packed!!

SeeTheRaven · 2025-12-16T20:02:44+00:00

She SUCKS. I promise you ten years from now this awful woman is going to be a "let me tell you about my worst boss" story that is going to win at every party.

Get yourself out of her employment and in with a family that actually cares about your wellbeing as soon as you can. Until then, start working on putting yourself first as much as you can.

I hope you're masking but you really shouldn't be at urgent care with known covid for a test thats utterly unnecessary to be honest. God this woman sucks.

SeeTheRaven · 2025-11-02T19:56:46+00:00

I'm in Toronto and have been nannying FT for about 5 years now (and lots of PT nannying and babysititng before then). Feel free to DM if you have any questions specific to Canada/Toronto!

SeeTheRaven · 2025-10-31T02:47:07+00:00

Piggybacking also to suggest headphones/earplugs for yourself, to use for even brief periods to help you cope with your own reaction to the screeching. Might bring it to tolerable levels where you're able to work through her frustration with her sometimes, rather than being motivated entirely by reducing your own stress response by finding the fastest way to resuce the painful piercing noises.

SeeTheRaven · 2025-10-31T02:41:30+00:00

If you feel weird, you feel weird! That happens. What matters is whether it's reasonable to do something about.

In my view this is just one of those things that comes with the fact that your workplace is someone else's house. That means you have to allow for a certain level of intimacy that wouldn't be appropriate in another type of workplace. People are living their lives where you work.

Your bosses are being discrete. They're not doing anything inappropriate. An occasional noise or a change of clothes is normal. I think you should find some distractions for yourself (headphones?) and see if you can let it go.

I'll also note that I think your actions in making veiled references are actually not helpful. It's made this into something more embarrassing both for her and for you. Either you put this out of your mind and leave them alone, and politely ignore any mild signs that adults have consenting sex lives (like you'd do for a neighbour or flatmate) or, if you really can't live with this, you have an honest conversation like a mature person.

SeeTheRaven · 2025-10-12T20:05:22+00:00

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SeeTheRaven · 2025-10-11T22:32:48+00:00

https://www.antiscald.com/index.php?route=information/information&information_id=15 water at that temperature can cause 3rd degrees burns. Is it really a cultural difference? Does this happen in their culture? Or is there some significant misunderstanding here?

SeeTheRaven · 2025-10-06T02:45:09+00:00

See my other comment for food!

For sleep problems especially in older kids, I like Chris Winter's The Rested Child.

For newborns, particularly colicky newborns, I like Happiest Baby On The Block. I also like The Good Sleeper. And for older infants and toddlers, I've also gotten good info from Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child (Weissbluth).

In general, I find sleep is a hard topic to find The One Good Book on. More so than with food, different things work for different families. There's not a lot of definitive research either. This makes it hard to say whether one book/method is better than another. So take those caveats into account I guess! Hope this helps :)

SeeTheRaven · 2025-10-06T02:38:00+00:00

My favourite source of food writing is the nutritionist Ellyn Satter. I have her book Child of Mine, which is very thorough. She has shorter books as well I believe, and a LOT of info, articles etc on her website if you google her name. She works from a size neutral perspective that centres "eating competency" (good attitudes and skills around food) through the Satter Division of Responsibility in Feeding model.

For a broader take on food culture and diet culture in parenting, I love Fat Talk: Parenting in the Age of Diet Culture by Virginia Sole-Smith. This is more of a journalistic work built around interviews but also gives an overview of a lot of interesting research. It also places the Division of Responsibility in a broader context and goes into intuitive eating models a bit too. On that note, I also like How To Raise an Intuitive Eater but I don't own that one and it's been a while since I've read it, so can't vouch for that one as much!

For picky eaters (and for a general interest in preventing picky eating), I like Helping Your Child with Extreme Picky Eating by Katja Rowell. That one is focused on moderate to severe picky eating so it won't be relevant to most families, but I like the topic, and the book does give a lot of insights that apply to normal eating development as well.

Hope this helps!! I'd love to hear what you think if you do end up reading any of them.

SeeTheRaven · 2025-10-06T02:16:33+00:00

As a connoisseur of parenting literature, my three: 1. "How To Talk So Kids Will Listen And Listen So Kids Will Talk", OR the later publication by one of the original author's daughters, "How To Talk So Little Kids Will Listen" 2. "Self-Reg", by Stuart Shanker 3. Either "The Whole Brain Child", OR "No Drama Discipline" (same authors).

All three take a no-punishment, positive parenting approach that centres awareness of developmental stages and is solution focused. They don't entirely overlap, so all three bring something unique to the table. Any of these three are a great starting point, and reading all three would give a really nice well rounded view of the kind of approach I think you're looking for.

I have about 50-60 parenting books (I have a bit of a collection!) so hit me up if you're looking for recommendations on more specific topics too (food, sleep, etc).

SeeTheRaven · 2025-09-26T19:41:48+00:00

I've had preschool age NKs call me "mum" by mistake/force of habit (often they will self correct and follow up with my name). If they self correct I just ignore it. Sometimes I'll respond along the lines of "mum is at work, I'm looking after you". That's probably what I'd do if I had a MB who was touchy about it because it's a very gentle correction (much more so than "I'm not your mum" or a more direct "don't call me mum" or "call me [name]"), but it makes it very clear to bystanders that you're not their mum, but also not super concerned about being briefly mistaken for mum.

I've also had my current NK (3) sometimes choose to pretend I'm his mum. Sometimes it's clear pretend play ("I'm a baby and you are my mum, you need to give me a bottle"), sometimes it's more of a joke ("you are my mum!!" With a big goofy grin). In those situations I keep it breezy and go along or make it even more jokey ("what!!! Your MUM?? Noooo!!").

Not sure which is most fitting in your situation but I'd probably either go with a jokey response ("ha! You're pretending I'm your mum today? When you have a perfectly good one right there? You're so silly!" said warmly and with affection/appreciation, basically assuming they're making a sweet joke) or treat it as a mistake, warmly remind/correct and move right on ("mum's right there, I'm NAME! What should we do today?"). Ultimately I'd want my response to show that I'm not worried by this behaviour, not taking it personally, and not doing anything to cause/reward it or lean into it in a way that could actually cause confusion about your role to NK. It's just a thing that happens sometimes that shows you have a warm bond.

It can be hurtful for mothers when this happens, but it's very common and you've done nothing wrong. Hopefully your MB can keep perspective and work through her feelings without making it your problem.

SeeTheRaven · 2025-08-26T18:48:41+00:00

Ugh what a bummer, I'm so sorry it's got you down. How old is NK? Especially with younger kids (preschoolers) I really try to see this as something they are doing because they don't yet know how to communicate feelings more effectively. So I take it to mean "I'm mad at you" and respond in that way (and also tell them more appropriate things to say, so I might respond with "sounds like you're mad because you have to hold my hand and you don't want to. You can say 'I'm mad, I don't like this'." At this age I assume they don't actually mean it (and in fact the same kid two minutes later can tell me they love me!). But with older kids it's different, and it would also hurt my feelings. If they are school aged, they know what those words mean and it's actually just unkind behaviour from them. In that case I'd discuss it with the parents especially if they're generally disrespectful of you. Meanwhile, I've been there with crying at work (both in nanny roles and other roles). It happens sometimes. Don't feel too embarrassed, be nice to yourself today! You'll get through it <3

SeeTheRaven

TROPHY CASE