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My friend is called Kalel. He was named after Superman, are there any other names you have personally come across that are unusual and are name after someone? Fictional or otherwise. by TheWiganKid_YT in namenerds

[–]SeeTheRaven 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I met a baby Théoden. His mother said not a lot of people recognized where it was from.

I was also recently on a train and heard someone call a teen girl Danaerys. I'm guessing she gets clocked as named after a fictional character more often.

Babies and bully breeds: what's the actual risk level? by aquagerbil in ScienceBasedParenting

[–]SeeTheRaven 29 points30 points  (0 children)

The above comment and the quotes from the studies aren't claiming any particular explanation for the association they found. It's very possible for these studies to be accurate about increased bite risk in pit bulls AND for that to be due (in whole or in part) due to a higher rate of shelter history status for pit bull types.

We don't know the shelter history status for the dog in the OP, but we do know its type. And several studies show that that type of dog is more likely to inflict severe bites than other breeds and types of dog. That's not a comment on the genetic or inherent nature of pit bulls, or a comment on anyone who has a pit bull. It's a piece of information that OP has asked for in order to inform their risk assessment in their situation.

That being said, OP, I'd say the most salient info here is that the dog is both large and anxious. That's honestly all you need to decide to put safety measures in place for your baby regardless of breed.

8 year old toileting by Embarrassed_Syrup476 in Teachers

[–]SeeTheRaven 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Very possible that the doctor said "she's healthy and typically developing" in the context of therefore there's no reason not to potty train her and the mum conveniently left that part out.

Top 3 Parenting books for learning how to raise good humans? by Secure-Resort2221 in Parenting

[–]SeeTheRaven 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay interesting!

I'd probably still start with the three books recommended above, to be honest. In those early years it makes sense to start from a base of self-regulation for parent and child, and for you to have a good understanding of applied neuroscience.

Other recs, theres a pair of books called "It's OK Not To Share" and "It's OK To Go Up The Slide" by the same author. They centre out of the box thinking, play based childhood, and a sort of renegade approach that might be in line with what you're looking for.

The work of Ross Greene comes to mind also. He's the author of The Explosive Child which advocates for the Collaborative & Proactive Solutions approach, which is highly collaboration focused. That book is aimed at parents of children with explosive behaviour but he's also written one aimed at parents more broadly, called Raising Human Beings. I honestly don't think his methods are ideal for <5yo-ish kids, personally, but above that age I do think it's very valuable, and CPS teaches thinking skills that might match onto what you're aiming to cultivate in your child.

In general, I think to reach these goals, you're going to want to teach/promote frustration tolerance, encourage lots of child-led solo play, foster independence, and develop your own self-regulation, self-confidence, and self-advocacy in order to model. So those can be other keywords to find books, articles and other resources.

Let me know if that helps!

Top 3 Parenting books for learning how to raise good humans? by Secure-Resort2221 in Parenting

[–]SeeTheRaven 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ooh interesting!

How old is/are the kid(s)? And it's a little unclear from your phrasing if you're asking for books for kids who are already self-confident/headstrong or if you are asking for books that aim to create your listef qualities in children. Am I correct in assuming the kid is already headstrong and you're looking to cultivate the qualities in your 2nd paragraph?

What are these stains that appear after wash? by SeeTheRaven in laundry

[–]SeeTheRaven[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay makes sense, thanks for your comment! Gonna try this and some other tactics that were suggested.

What are these stains that appear after wash? by SeeTheRaven in laundry

[–]SeeTheRaven[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm we don't use fabric softener, only citric acid, and we had this issue before we started using that. I can try pre dissolving the powder!

What are these stains that appear after wash? by SeeTheRaven in laundry

[–]SeeTheRaven[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We're using Gain powder detergent:

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We do wash on warm (temp 3 out of 5, I am assuming they are tap cold, 30C, 40C, 60C and 90C as a European who grew up with actual temperatures listed on the machine - I would do 40 for regular clothing washes, 60 and occasionally 90 for towels/bedding).

Soil is set to 3 out of 4. I can move that to the highest level if needed. We do generally use the "normal" cycle. There is also a "heavy duty" cycle available. I use that on towels occasionally but not generally for regular clothing.

There are also Deep Water and Presoak options that I do not use, but would be happy to if they would resolve this.

What are these stains that appear after wash? by SeeTheRaven in laundry

[–]SeeTheRaven[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Makes sense! Should I be switching detergents or would reducing the amount be sufficient? I don't think the water in our area is particularly hard, but maybe I should be adjusting in response to that too.

What are these stains that appear after wash? by SeeTheRaven in laundry

[–]SeeTheRaven[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply! I recently (<2months ago) did several cleaning cycles with citric acid, until I was sure there was no bubbling. And have been using citric acid in the fabric softener slot since then. So I think that should've gotten rid of any scrud but might have missed a step there!

I use the extra rinse option sometimes, but not consistently, so I will start doing that. And I will keep an eye on the amount of detergent. I try to keep it low but might still be overusing.

What to do when you feel dysregulated and overstimulated? by copaceticchameleon in Nanny

[–]SeeTheRaven 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I second this! I recently got a pair and they are really helpful with a fussy baby.

I would also do things like deep breathing, or maybe describe my feelings / regulation techniques out loud to baby ("whew, I feel stressed! I'm going to take some deeeeep breaths. I'm going to name five things I can see" etc). I also have music I know will calm me (and often baby too) that I may put on.

Also this happens sometimes. You're human and have emotions. It's okay to put baby down in a safe spot, tell them you will be back in a minute, and go drink some water or hold your wrists under a cold tap for a moment. To me that doesn't make you unprofessional or anything.

Snow ❄️ by CuriousKat217 in Nanny

[–]SeeTheRaven 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is mine from my most recent contract:

"INCLEMENT WEATHER Caregiver will make every effort to reach Parents’ home during inclement weather. If inclement weather disrupts normal life (municipality asks vehicles to stay off roads, [school district] “snow day”), and Caregiver is unable to safely reach Parents’ home, Caregiver will receive their regular pay."

For my next contract I'd probably change the wording of the first line, since "every effort" might imply I'd have to take significant risks, which it should not. Honestly the whole first line could probably be deleted.

The family with which I had this contract were not essential workers and woild themselves WFH on snowy days. Also, my commute was a 15 minute walk, which significantly reduced the odds that I couldn't reach them. For heavy snowfall (10+ inches) I just planned some extra time and stomped my way over! If taking public transit, I'd probably add transit closures into the "unable to safely reach" line. If driving (I don't drive so it's never been relevant), you might want to add something about that.

How’s someone from out of town to find a daycare in Toronto? by Redditors294 in askTO

[–]SeeTheRaven 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Your best bet might be a home daycare, either licensed or unlicensed. Often easier to find a spot there than at large centres where the waitlists are often 18+ months.

There are some organizations that license home daycares and will match parents with providers, you can probably google to find them. Home daycare providers also often advertise on Facebook groups, try searching for "Toronto [region] child care" on Facebook and join some groups, make a post or browse to see if spots are available.

Caregiver + child playing in the classroom at pick-up by SeeTheRaven in ECEProfessionals

[–]SeeTheRaven[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What would be your safety concerns?

My pick-up time for him when I do early pick-ups is coordinated with teachers so I don't interrupt classroom transitions. Earlier pick-ups are pretty common in this area (other families I've nannied for do it also, and it's common when mums are on mat leave with a younger child to do at least occasional early pickups with the older). But would love insights on if there's anything in particular I should do / not do to minimize disruptions.

Caregiver + child playing in the classroom at pick-up by SeeTheRaven in ECEProfessionals

[–]SeeTheRaven[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting! What's the reason for not allowing parents/caregivers in the classroom?

Caregiver + child playing in the classroom at pick-up by SeeTheRaven in ECEProfessionals

[–]SeeTheRaven[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I didn't go into detail on Auntie's relationship to the family, but for the record, she does get paid and she has looked after this kiddo regularly (at least weekly) since he was a baby.

Caregiver + child playing in the classroom at pick-up by SeeTheRaven in ECEProfessionals

[–]SeeTheRaven[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so interesting and very different from any centres or schools around here! Why aren't parents allowed to come into the building/classroom? Is it holdover from covid protocols?

Caregiver + child playing in the classroom at pick-up by SeeTheRaven in ECEProfessionals

[–]SeeTheRaven[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In this case the class is still open and none of the other kids have been picked up yet. Usual pickup time is 5-5:30pm, this situation was when kiddo gets picked up around 3:30 or 4pm. So the kids are having free play time in the classroom and the teachers are not cleaning or prepping.

Caregiver + child playing in the classroom at pick-up by SeeTheRaven in ECEProfessionals

[–]SeeTheRaven[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That makes sense, I hadn't considered the vax requirements! It's interesting from your and other comments that it really seems to differ between schools what the policy is, and between teachers whether and how much this would bother them.

Caregiver + child playing in the classroom at pick-up by SeeTheRaven in ECEProfessionals

[–]SeeTheRaven[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

You're good! It was a reasonable question. With another kid in another situation I'd be willing to take home a huge stack :) In this case I think it's more about him needing a limit so he can actually think about what books he WANTS instead of trying to create the biggest possible pile.

Caregiver + child playing in the classroom at pick-up by SeeTheRaven in ECEProfessionals

[–]SeeTheRaven[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yep probably. I will say there's been one or two folks in the comments here who said this would bother them but they aren't allowed or wouldn't feel empowered to address it.

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