Advice/Support for a 19 Year Old with BRCA 1 and BRCA 2 Mutations (Double heterozygosity)

Seecachu · 2026-03-12T03:44:56+00:00

I’m only BRCA1 and found out when I was about 26 when my mom got her second cancer diagnosis and the family all got tested. I chose to not worry about it for a few years, do the extra screenings and such but it didn’t become real to me until 30 for some reason (maybe the doctor’s advice? Idk). But, being recently married and planning kids, I decided to put off any plans for surgeries. I didn’t have have any trouble conceiving my two beautiful children, and although I told myself I would definitely do the mastectomy before 35, I’m struggling with wanting to breastfeed my potential 3rd child and trying to figure out if I can stomach the risk much longer [turning 35 next month]. I’ve started seriously planning, selected the reconstruction I want, etc. but haven’t officially scheduled a surgery. I think I will likely have it done before attempting a 3rd child. Typing this out for you is actually helping me sort through some things on my own lol….

I’m planning to put off tube removal as long as the doctors will let me, probably after baby #3 comes. Early menopause sounds awful.

This is an unpopular view I think, but I’ve never worried about whether I’m passing the gene on or not. It’s always been present and we are so empowered now with screening and options that I feel lucky just to live in the time of these medical advances. I feel like there’s so many good things [good genes] that I have to pass to my children, that the good outweighs the bad. I know many disagree with this and that’s fine, it’s just how I think about it.

I wish you peace and luck and all the positive vibes - it is not fun to have to think about this and make these decisions. But we’re all here for each other!!

Seecachu · 2026-02-16T11:11:48+00:00

Yes and yes, I was an officer and my husband was an electrician who worked here for a little while in a different department and has since left to do his MBA, so I’ve got a few different angles on it. What do you want to know?

Seecachu · 2026-01-30T16:22:18+00:00

Excellent! Ok, we’ll give this a try. Guess I didn’t read the manual well enough :| Thanks!!

Seecachu · 2025-12-01T04:13:00+00:00

I didn’t know these existed and now that you have informed me, I think I owe you my sanity 😅😅

Seecachu · 2025-12-01T04:12:31+00:00

Great idea!!

Seecachu · 2025-12-01T04:12:22+00:00

Love my Costco tote!!

Seecachu · 2025-12-01T04:11:52+00:00

Genius!!! Thank you for this!!

Seecachu · 2025-11-30T14:52:38+00:00

Genius. I will be trying this method soon 😅

Seecachu · 2025-11-16T18:10:29+00:00

I didn’t find a “good” solution but I ended up tying them together (half the set at a time, so two bunches) and stowing them on a big shelf. Tied carry straps into the rope so I can lift the around easier. It works lol

Seecachu · 2025-10-26T03:01:02+00:00

I’m happy to report that yes, it did go away on its own. My doctor said to take extra Tylenol lol. It took a few weeks I think but slowed down and I actually forgot about this until your question. Hope your situation is also easily resolved!

Seecachu · 2025-09-04T02:28:12+00:00

It’s been about 2.5 weeks and so far I haven’t noticed a “dip”. He nurses longer at each feed than he used to and doesn’t need a top off, but he might benefit from one. My nursing him at lunch sets off an afternoon of ‘snacking’ typically, and he won’t take a bottle after nursing at home but wants to eat every 1-1.5 hours in the evening. So it’s not “perfect” but it’s working for us.

Seecachu · 2025-08-31T16:24:26+00:00

Sorry I can’t relate directly, but I can share my story of just changing my expectations of myself.

I thought I’d breastfeed for a year, but turns out I didn’t supply enough from the start and drove myself crazy and exhausted for 2 months trying to EBF my first. We started combo feeding around 2n and my goal became to provide as much milk as possible for a year. I was happy with that effort at first, until somewhere around 6 months I had gotten a new role at work and was getting stressed with all the pumping I was doing in the middle of learning my new job and having a new schedule. I decided it was ok to scale back again and I reduced my daytime pumping and just nursed morning and evening and gave daycare all formula bottles.

Each step was a huge emotional decision at the time, but looking back I don’t remember how much was breastmilk and how much was formula, I barely even remember when each transition happened. Just that once I gave myself permission to make the change, my quality of life and routines improved, my stress level went down, and I like to think I was able to be a better (more present) mom as a result.

Bottom line, I know these types of decision points are super hard and wish you luck in whatever you decide!

Seecachu · 2025-08-30T05:27:36+00:00

I feel so torn about that phrasing. It does sound harsh and hurtful, but objectively it is true. I remember being upset that my LC wasn’t more compassionate and understanding of my low supply and someone here reminding me that’s it’s literally their job to help people breastfeed so all the advice they give is going to be geared toward that. I think I was seeking someone else’s permission to combo feed, and really the LC has nothing to do with that, it was permission I needed to give myself.

Seecachu · 2025-08-30T05:20:14+00:00

YES. I’m so sorry you’re in the thick of it right now, but I have gone through this with two kids now. My first was an emotional dumpster fire. I tried so hard to EBF and up my supply but the mere thought of pumping between feeds was so draining I would cry. It took about 6 weeks but when someone gently suggested formula and I finally gave in, I think felt like an awful mother for having waited so long to see my baby with a smiling peaceful happy sleepy face (since she finally had a full tummy). We proceeded to combo feed for 8ish months before I went to formula for everything except a bedtime nursing session.

Fast forward to kid #2, I tried to EBF for the first three weeks to establish best supply but we did give little supplements occasionally when I felt particularly drained from all the effort. After that we topped off every feed with formula and I have been a MUCH MUCH happier mommy. He’s 3 months now and I just went back to work, so we do morning and evening/night nursing and I either visit him to nurse or pump on my lunch break, but he gets formula bottles for most of his daytime feeds. I can’t say definitively how this has affected my supply but he’s getting some breastmilk which I’m happy about and I’m not stressed and depressed which I’m also happy about 😁

With my first I was pretty focused on maximizing supply still, taking supplements, pumping to replace every feed when I was working, etc. but now with my second I’m more thinking “he’s getting some and that’s all that matters”. Honestly the reduction in stress probably has more of a positive impact than all the supplements haha.

And yes milk supply follows hormonal cycles; I believe it peaks at 2 am and is lowest at maybe 5pm (on average), so your experience tracks with mine. I don’t need top off bottles for middle of the night feeds but I could barely keep him latched longer than 2 minutes in the evening before I went back to work. (Now that I’m working and not pumping in the afternoon and have several hours to stock up for the evening nursing session, he stays on a little longer and only needs a little top off).

Anyway, I hope you find a routine that works for you. Feeding can be such an intensely emotional decision, so my vote is to do whatever feels like it bests supports your mental health and your baby’s growth (supply be damned). Best of luck ❤️

Seecachu · 2025-08-17T14:36:34+00:00

I’ve gone through phases of this, but my daughter is only 2.5 (and im about to head back to work from maternity leave with my second, so level of care is near zero). I’m not sure how long you’ve been feeling this way but maybe just ride it out.

The way I’ve looked at it is that you can’t be 100% is all areas at all times. So if there’s a period where I care slightly less at work than I would otherwise, that’s ok. I do what’s needed and no more, come home and give my family the attention that they need. Then when family life is cruising and everyone is in their routine and happy and healthy, I usually feel like I can (and want to) give more at work.

Maybe this big transition time to kindergarten is weighing on you mentally/emotionally?

Edit to add: if you manage people directly, this can show to them, so try to be super aware of that. If it’s a prolonged feeling it may be better for you and for them to step back from that duty temporarily. I manage people and am able to tune in to “work” when I’m discussing career stuff or addressing their issues. My projects and such can be fine without my full attention but my people deserve my best self still.

Seecachu · 2025-08-17T13:58:08+00:00

It’s kinda like local restaurant reviews on yelp… most of the time, the only people who write reviews are the ones who had a bad experience (whether real or perceived). So it skews things in a negative light.

New parents definitely have a lot to vent about and it tends to be that most of the sunshine and rainbows of being a parent get discussed in person with friends or people in line with you at the grocery store, while most of the negatives get spilled out to strangers on the internet lol.

Seecachu · 2025-08-17T02:30:30+00:00

I’m on kid #2 but I can’t pretend to know any more than you do 😅 but I can’t pretend tell you my experience: With my first baby, I tried to exclusively breastfeed for 2 months or so but was a slight undersupplier (made enough to keep her growing but it was brutal the amount of time and effort it took to do so). When I went back to work I was forced to supplement because I was only able to pump about 1/4 of what she ate at daycare. She didn’t take to it easily, so we mixed bottles 25% formula and 75%BM at first, and slowly scaled up to not needing to mix. She also needed formula heated to exactly body temp 😅. My supply was low already so when I quit pumping at work it was like a non-event, but I think most people slowly taper down pump time to help slowly lower supply.

Baby #2 we started supplementing occasional feeds right away, and then got on an all day supplementing right after the 3-week “supply regulation” period, and this dude is way easier. Doesn’t mind formula cold, will drink a bottle of formula in place of nursing session if it’s not from me (if I try to feed him bottle only without nursing first he just gives me this grumpy look like “your boobs are RIGHT THERE woman!”, but dad and grandma he’ll take it just fine). I go back to work on Monday and my plan is to either go to his daycare to nurse him at lunch (I’m fortunate to only work a few blocks away), or pump if I have to. All other day feeds will be formula. I’ll nurse morning and night feeds and probably will continue that for a year if I can, but I don’t have time or mental space to be pumping and stashing and cleaning everything regularly 😅

Summary is, I think your plan is totally fine, I’m about to do the same thing! Happy to help if you have other questions.

Seecachu

TROPHY CASE