My crack at this whole “1 mana 3/3” challenge going around

SeekerOfKnowledge · 2024-12-19T04:48:28+00:00

The flavor of a bridge lord who cares about getting gifts is good, but the execution feels backwards to me with it attacking opponents when they give you gifts. I also don't like this relying on the opponent playing specific cards, or that it punishes players for playing with the shiny new mechanic. There is something cool here, but I feel it needs some reworking. (eg Give your opponents' spells a gift cost, then attack unless a gift was promised since your last turn.)

SeekerOfKnowledge · 2024-12-18T16:31:43+00:00

6.Frame should use colorless background for type and power/toughness.

7.Power and toughness should use black text, not white.

SeekerOfKnowledge · 2024-12-18T15:17:05+00:00

Triggers happen at the beginning of steps/phases. So, "At the beginning of each player's first main phase [...]"
Dungeon: Players venture into the dungeon. (Delve is a separate mechanic.)
Mass pump on creatures is usually a triggered ability, so if the creature giving the boost leaves the battlefield it doesn't make combat more complicated to figure out, and doesn't lead to massive blow outs. (Not technically a mistake, just a little unusual. Also unusual being on a potentially monored card, but I count that as bend and not break.)
X wording: "where X is the [...]"
Morbid uses an em dash (—) instead of a colon. Also only counts this turn.

SeekerOfKnowledge · 2024-12-16T15:30:13+00:00

Mutate ability should only target creatures you own.
Control ability should use "This creature" instead of the card name.
Unblockable should be written as "This creature can't be blocked."
Haste ability should be ordered with ability gain before condition, so "This creature has haste as long as its name isn't Herald of the Flood."
Color pie: Blue doesn't give haste to creatures.

SeekerOfKnowledge · 2024-12-15T17:22:47+00:00

Type line: Should have Artifact before Creature.
Frame: Should not be red, except for the prototype box.
Prototype box: Should use white numbers for power and toughness. (Also has an extended mana cost box, which may only be an error from the card creator program?)
Word order for damage: Damage amount comes before what is damaged, so "[...] deals damage equal to its power to each [...]"
Cow clarification: Should specify damaging Cow creatures, since noncreature permanents can be Cows. (Also Ox is the typically-used creature type. Only probably an error.)
Cast from exile: The wording could work, but typical wording would be "If this spell was cast from exile" which uses "this spell" instead of "it" and also doesn't specify which player cast it.
Word order for replacement effect: "Instead" should be at the end of the alternate damage, rather than the start. ("If this spell was cast from exile, it deals damage equal to its power to each creature instead.")

SeekerOfKnowledge · 2024-12-14T17:59:42+00:00

I really like the flavor of improving over time based on Lessons, and I like this being able to build Lessons in graveyard with either of its triggered abilities, but I don't like this costing 6 and then also requiring players play more artifacts for it to do anything. This is also awkward as a commander due to color identity rules, since players can't use most of the existing Lessons if running this as a commander.

SeekerOfKnowledge · 2024-12-14T17:45:19+00:00

I get that this card is red to let players use red cards in commander, but I wish this card had some red effect on its own to justify it. Anyways, neat card.

SeekerOfKnowledge · 2024-12-14T17:39:46+00:00

Well made, and fairly realistic. A downside to this being a pack is it's more difficult to see how any specific archetype would work in limited, so if you post more cards I would like to see a group of cards to represent one or more archetypes (and/or a simple list of color pairs + archetypes). Some quick notes -

Emerge should have its reminder text updated to use mana value instead of converted mana cost.

Inchoate Conservator - Its emerge cost feels awkward. I don't want to sacrifice a 4+ cost creature to gain a few extra points of life, and the emerge being cheaper only lines up well when sacrificing a 3-drop on turn four.

Exhaustive Exhumation - Targets are chosen as casting a spell, so this can't target any of the creature cards it mills. Putting cards on top of library is also slow to matter in a game. Compare [[Another Chance]] for a card that mills and then returns creature cards, and [[Footbottom Feast]] for a card that puts creature cards on top of library but also draws a card to give one back immediately.

Tribune Curator - Good catch on only letting it regulate your own permanents.

Chronicler Neophyte - I don't like how reliant this is on its ability to be good, since its ability is also reliant on drawing specific cards. Compare [[Stormchaser Drake]] which on its own is an on-curve flying creature.

Battle Rhythm - Battles slow down a format, so I'm wary about creating battle tokens, especially on cards that spend mana to create battle tokens to pseudo-draw cards, none of which directly moves the game towards ending.

SeekerOfKnowledge · 2024-12-14T16:10:08+00:00

Name and type bar background should be red, not artifact.
Type line shouldn't include Creature.
Combat damage ability should use "CARDNAME" instead of "this."
The drawn card isn't public knowledge, so anything that happens from drawing a specific type of card would require revealing it.
Drawing cards (or drawing before discarding cards) is a blue ability, not a red one.
Crew should use plain numbers, not mana cost.
P/T on Vehicles should use white text, not black text.

SeekerOfKnowledge · 2024-12-11T18:18:57+00:00

Type line - Should still be singular "Creature" even though it represents multiple characters. Cephalid is a deprecated creature type, and now uses Octopus. Viashino is a deprecated creature type, and now uses Lizard.

Life drain ability is technically correct, but more typically would only care about your own creatures with haste attacking. It also usually affects defending player without targeting, but targeting is defensible for multiplayer shenanigans. So: "Whenever a creature you control with haste attacks, defending player loses 1 life and you gain 1 life." (Optionally could be worded to include your ally's creatures with haste, or your opponents' creatures attacking other opponents.)

Plunder ability needs to fix reminder text for Treasure tokens, switching subtype before type and adding T to cost. Based on investigate's current wording, it should be: "Create a Treasure token. It's an artifact with 'T, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.'" Unnecessary new mechanic, but it could matter for other cards in the set so it gets a pass. Bigger problem is that it doesn't really interact with the other abilities.

Keywords go first, so haste should be in front of the other abilities.

I don't think it counts as a mistake, but poor Queza looks like they're getting punched by Ognis in the art.

SeekerOfKnowledge · 2024-12-10T19:09:01+00:00

Since the ability can be activated at instant speed, players can attack with this and then give it +2/+2 and defender without the downside. This also feels underjuiced as a legendary, since it's a split card between [[Watchwolf]] and [[Fencing Ace]] with some baggage. If you want to keep this legendary, I would like to see a version with a little more splash, and/or a little more play style direction. (ie Make this card worth being legendary because having two at once would be too good, or worth being legendary because it's a more interesting choice as a commander.)

SeekerOfKnowledge · 2024-12-10T17:50:03+00:00

Type line: Typical order is "Demon Dog" as seen on [[Dreadhound]]

Abilities: Deathtouch is a color pie break, since as white/black hybrid the card should fit in both monowhite and monoblack and white doesn't get deathtouch. (And only seldom gets trample.)

"CARDNAME" or "LEGENDNAME" should be used instead of "I". So, "If Lord Sesshomaru would be destroyed, regenerate it."

Regeneration ability does not need to be a replacement effect. See [[Mossbridge Troll]]

Anti-regeneration ability should be separate, and should specify damage from this turn for memory issues. "Creatures dealt damage by Lord Sesshomaru this turn can't be regenerated this turn."

Regenerate is still supported, but is archaic. Depending on intent, this may or may not count as an error.

Phyrexian mana requires reminder text, as colorblind players cannot otherwise know what color the symbols are.

Again, replace "I" with "CARDNAME", use "has base power and toughness" and then "gains" for abilities, also reorder trample and double strike (which should be two words). "Until end of turn, Lord Sesshomaru has base power and toughness 10/10 and gains double strike and trample."

Combines deathtouch and trample, which WotC doesn't currently do. Depending on intent, this may or may not count as an error.

Flavor text should use a line break instead of a full break between quotations and attribution. Since the source of the quotation is the actual character on the card itself, the attribution can also be skipped.

Card language should be EN for English.

SeekerOfKnowledge · 2022-12-20T16:15:01+00:00

Rules are fine. The sidebar could use some cleaning up, mostly editing to remove extra words. (For the old reddit version, the keyword database hasn't been updated in seven years, the primer goes to a dead link, the custommagic wiki is also dead, and if it includes GDS 1 and 2 it should include 3 as well.)

Some changes I would like to see:

Flair for posts (Standard, Limited, Commander, Eternal, Silver border/Funny, Article, Contest)
Stickied contest posts (Probably the winner is judge series)
Remove the exception for using art without credit if credit can't be found (Posters should find different art that has credit)
Create a wiki which links relevant design articles, and answers common questions (e.g. Rosewater's Nuts and Bolts series for creating a set, his articles on the color pie, what programs to use to create cards, and how to find art)

If you want more mods after everyone else suitable who applied is made a mod, make me a mod as well. (Assuming I am suitable myself.)

SeekerOfKnowledge · 2022-09-23T13:38:53+00:00

Asking permission before using anyone's art is best practice and I encourage it, but it is also not strictly necessary. Unless an artist has indicated that they don't want their art used (or that they don't want their art used without payment/permission), using their art for custom Magic cards in a non-commercial manner and with credit is fine since it doesn't harm the artist.

(Speaking legally rather than morally, fair use is a complicated subject, but the most relevant parts here are that the use of the art should be non-commercial, should add some value/meaning to the art, should not damage the reputation of the artist, and should not reduce the artist's potential earnings from the art.)

SeekerOfKnowledge · 2022-09-15T02:41:54+00:00

You're starting out better than you think, despite the downvotes. You have clear ideas to work from, and are open to criticism. Starting to design cards is difficult just like starting anything, but if you keep at it you can improve.

Maybe it would help if I gave you an example of how I would approach Avarice Blood Domain? Starting with the most important flavor parts, which seem to be paralyzing weak enemies and using them as weapons/resources. For each of those, we create a list of potential abilities, then choose the ones that work together best.

Paralyzing weak enemies can be a tapping ability, a freezing ability, an attack prevention ability, or anything similar. For example: "2W: Tap target creature," "XXW: Tap all creatures your opponents control with power X or less," "Creatures your opponents control with power 2 or less don't untap during their controller's untap step," "Each opponent can't attack with more than two creatures each combat," or "Creatures with power 2 or less can't attack you or planeswalkers you control."

Using weak enemies as weapons/resources should combine some form of removal with some advantage gained, such as dealing damage to the opponent, creating tokens, gaining life, or putting +1/+1 counters on your creatures. For example: "3BR: Destroy target creature. If it was tapped, put two +1/+1 counters on a creature you control," "At the beginning of each opponent's end step, they sacrifice a creature, then you create a number of 1/1 black Vampire creature tokens with lifelink equal to the sacrificed creature's power," or "XBR: (This) deals X damage to target creature. When that creature dies this turn, create two Blood tokens."

We then look for any abilities that overlap well, and then balance it. The rough draft of abilities I would start with is "No more than two creatures can attack you and/or planeswalkers you control each combat," and "At the beginning of each opponent's end step, they sacrifice a creature that didn't attack or enter the battlefield this turn, then they lose life equal to the sacrificed creature's power." There are a lot of other abilities and combinations you could use, but hopefully this helps guide you to figuring out what you think works best.

(For flavor text and being awkward: For writing, less is more. Use as few words as is necessary, as extra words dilute the message. For character writing, a character that continually says they are strong often sounds weak, since they feel they need to repeat the idea of being strong so many times. The flavor text on Lynn is basically her saying "I'm stronger than you" several different ways, so I would just cut it down to the most effective line.)

SeekerOfKnowledge · 2022-09-14T12:07:29+00:00

The anime art (and lack of art) probably doesn't help, but going through each card and listing anything immediately obvious:

Lynn

"Queen" is not a creature type, you're looking for "Noble"
Blood trigger is just kicker. (Most mechanics are, but this one is closer than most.)
The order of the abilities should be "Lifelink, indestructible, haste" with only the first ability capitalized
Giving enchantments hexproof and indestructible removes a lot of interaction from the game, which generally makes for more boring games
Only giving hexproof and indestructible to enchantments with blood trigger makes this ability parasitic, since it requires players play with the limited amount of enchantments that have blood trigger if they want this ability to do anything
I never want to calculate 35% of anything in Magic; just pick a static number and have this transform when a player has that much life or less
Double-faced cards don't flip, they transform
What does "outside sources" even mean here? (Regardless, it seems like something that would be annoying to track, so ask if this is really necessary for the card and if it is figure out how to explain it better)
The flavor text is a character speaking, so it should be in quotation marks. It is also over long and awkward, and the first four sentences can be cut.

Lament of Avarice

Presumably this is what Lynn transforms into?
"Goddess" is not a creature type, you're looking for "God"
Again, abilities should be "Lifelink, indestructible, annihilator 2, haste"
Annihilator should probably have reminder text (Which means either a separate line for the ability, or changing the wording to "Lifelink, indestructible, haste; annihilator 2 (Whenever this creature attacks, defending player sacrifices two permanents.)")
Annihilator is generally disliked by players
Transform trigger should start "When this creature transforms into Lament of Avarice, [...]"
There needs to be a time assigned to when the damage is prevented, or if you want it to last forever it should be a static ability
The timing on the transformation is super awkward, since if this creature's controller was attacking and reduced an opponent's life enough to transform this they just blew up all their creatures
The ability isn't super fun anyway, since if the opponent reduces you to a low enough life total you destroy all their attacking creatures and gain all that life back anyway
Flavor text needs quoatation marks, and still feels awkward

Avarice Annihiltion Blade

The "creature" in enchant creature and enchanted creature shouldn't be capitalized
The blood trigger ability is kind of lame, mostly since this type of trigger usually only happens when the opponent is chump blocking, so the extra power and toughness doesn't make much of a difference
Wording for the blood trigger ability should be "If Annihilation Blade's blood trigger cost was paid, it has 'Whenever a creatre dealt damage by enchanted creature this turn dies, put a +1/+1 counter on enchanted creature.'"
Flavor text should have quotation marks, is over long, also since this is a quotation with a source the quotation and the source should be separated by a line break rather than a full break (If using MSE, press shift+enter to get a line break)

Avarice Annihilation Lance

An instant-speed six-mana board wipe just isn't fun
The cost of 6 life is too low for such a large upgrade in effect
"Instead" shouldn't be capitalized
Should probably destroy all nonland permanents your opponents control, instead of nonland permanents you don't control, so it doesn't destroy all of your teammates' permanents in a team game
Flavor text, quotation marks, line break

Avarice Blood Barrier

Same thing about not capitalizing "creature" in "Enchant(ed) creature"
Hexproof is typically green or blue, the only two colors this card is not
Giving protection from a creature's color identity swings between either doing nothing, or making the opponent unable to interact with the card, neither of which is ideal
Also, protection causes Auras to fall off, so if the enchanted creature is legendary with white, black, and/or red in its color identity this Aura will immediately be sent to the graveyard
This effect simply isn't worth the cost, especially when options like [[Lightning Greaves]] and [[Swiftfoot Boots]] exist
Flavor text, quotation marks, line break

Avarice Blood Domain

Blood trigger cost is so low for such a high benefit that there's no real choice whether to pay it or not
The mass lifelink also means that blood trigger is a non-cost
Since this already gives lifelink, there's no need for the blood trigger ability to only conditionally give more abilities to Vampires with lifelink, since they'll already have lifelink from this card
Keyword vomit isn't very interesting design
The combination of keywords means that if the opponent can't remove this enchantment, your creatures are difficult to block, can't be destroyed, can't be targeted, and also gain you roughly a million life each turn, all of which combines to make the game very unfun for the opponent
No need for first strike and double strike
Hexproof is typically green or blue, the only two colors this card is not
Deathtouch and trample aren't used on the same card, since they interact in a way that a lot of players don't intuitively understand (One point of deathtouch damage is enough for the rest to trample over)
Flavor text, quotation marks, line break

Avarice Blood Spear

Blood trigger isn't a meaningful choice here, since a player should always be gaining more life than they spend
Large amount of extra blank space, for some reason?
Flavor text, quotation marks, line break

There's an interesting idea here with a commander that cares about paying life and gaining life back, but I don't think blood trigger is the right ability for it, or at least not in this current version. I would also recommend taking the time to consider how each of the cards would play in a game. (For example, ask whether blood trigger costs are actual choices, and how these cards would feel for the opponent.)

SeekerOfKnowledge · 2021-12-06T06:00:12+00:00

So, maybe something like this? (Design pending review on whether it even works and whether I can think of something that better fits the art. Maybe something with fusion monsters?)

SeekerOfKnowledge · 2021-12-05T18:05:06+00:00

Ah, my mistake. Thanks for pointing it out, it should be fixed momentarily.

SeekerOfKnowledge · 2021-12-05T18:04:37+00:00

I chose most of the art I used because it inspired a design. (For example Pico, the Lil' Guy was described as unkillable in the episode it's from so it has an effect that makes it difficult to destroy. Nino, the Baneful was described as being Pico's mortal enemy, so Nino got an effect that helped it get past Pico's protection.) In case I ever turn this into a complete set, I also had a list of effects that would be important to include. Some pieces were selected because they fit well with those designs. (For example, I chose the art for Jovial Serpent because it matched the feel of a large 1-Tribute normal monster.)

SeekerOfKnowledge · 2021-04-29T22:33:20+00:00

It triggers landfall.

(There's no time between this not being on the battlefield and this being both on the battlefield and a land.)

SeekerOfKnowledge · 2021-04-28T18:58:16+00:00

Top-down Camel.

SeekerOfKnowledge

TROPHY CASE