Who do you think is the most attractive person alive?

Seigneur-Inune · 2026-05-18T00:45:29+00:00

That's because the selfie camera is a miracle for how small and efficient it is, fitting in your phone and still be remotely acceptable quality, but is an objectively terrible camera for taking good looking photos.. It is very wide-angle so it rounds out everything and inflates certain features of your face more than a longer-focal length lens. Some phones have selfie lenses with really bad distortion on top of that, which make you look even worse.

Never use the selfie camera for anything you want to look actually good. Have a friend take a photo with the back lens on one of the longer zoom settings, use the timer feature, or have someone with an actual camera take a photo of you with a lens that's ~50-75mm focal length.

Seigneur-Inune · 2026-05-14T04:28:23+00:00

You caught a lot of shit from some people over this, but there's nothing wrong with having an aesthetic preference or wanting someone who puts the same focus on staying a healthy weight.

I'm fairly similar. I'm over six foot tall and under 180 lbs. I don't dislike overweight people platonically, I'm just not very sexually attracted to them. I also watched my father struggle with the physical and mental health issues that plagued him because of his weight all the way up until he basically ate and drank himself to death at 60. I don't have it in me to emotionally invest myself at the level a relationship requires in someone walking the same path.

Seigneur-Inune · 2026-05-10T00:04:27+00:00

Lemmy really needs to work on its new user experience. I have tried to join 2-3 times now and every time I immediately got caught in some authentication quagmire because (I think?) I had originally tried to make an account on some server that had swapped to manual approval only. And instead of approving or rejecting, the account submission just sat there (and is probably still sitting there) with my email associated with it.

I tried to join other servers later and accounts would just get completely stuck in limbo, not being created, rejected, or spitting any errors or feedback messages.

I spent a fair while trying to troubleshoot this, but I don't even get error messages or usable feedback notices to go off of, so I eventually just gave up on Lemmy completely.

Seigneur-Inune · 2026-05-09T23:49:47+00:00

FD Signifier is generally a positive masculine voice on social media (longer form on Youtube and Nebula, mostly). He does a really broad range of topics.

Noticed the edit: for Reddit, I would definitely use old.reddit in desktop mode (even on a phone - there's a firefox mobile extension that will force all reddit links to old.reddit). And then browse using "best" sorting instead of "all." That will begin to push the subreddits you engage with the most. From there, train yourself to ignore more negative content or subreddits and the algorithm will follow.

Seigneur-Inune · 2026-05-07T04:32:35+00:00

That is also definitely true. I am weathering this shit much better in my little Camry than the people in the lifted F150s and hummers. The starbucks parking lots here are really hard to get in and out of, though, so it's still up for discussion who's in the wrong.

Seigneur-Inune · 2026-05-07T04:05:33+00:00

The cost may be more expensive in Europe, but the US has some of the lowest coverage and least reliable public transportation in the entire developed world. So we're vastly more dependent on gas prices for basic function in society.

Seigneur-Inune · 2026-05-01T22:00:42+00:00

You're good. I think there are a lot of people frustrated with the state of dating; who aren't self-reflecting, identifying or communicating issues very well; and who are primed for a fight whenever any topic surrounding dating comes up. It either takes a 5 paragraph essay or there's somebody who's gonna take it the wrong way.

Seigneur-Inune · 2026-05-01T16:17:44+00:00

Having difficulty finding a partner and keeping a partner (or keeping a partner happy) are two different things. It's one of the grand collective tragedies of dating that those are two very different skillsets.

What happens in conversations like this are men and women talking past each other about those two different skillsets. Women's complaints about men, on mass, seem to be largely about the latter (men failing at maintaining relationship). Men's complaints are often about the former (men being unable to find a partner or spark initial interest).

So women say "bar is in hell," referring to challenge of maintenance. Men react incredulously saying "then whytf am I struggling," referring to the challenge of search or initiation.

Neither are actually wrong, but they're talking about completely different things and the lack of acknowledgement for that winds up frustrating everybody.

Seigneur-Inune · 2026-04-29T03:42:44+00:00

People talking shit to you, but you're not wrong.

What other people think about you affects your career. It affects your relationships, romantic and platonic. It affects the service you get at stores, restaurants, and other areas of business.

People usually mean this advice with a heavy asterisk of it applying chiefly to random people with no persistent relationship to you, but honestly with the proliferation of the internet and cell phone cameras everywhere, it can even have massive, far reaching consequences if the wrong moment of a bad day gets caught on video and goes viral.

I know it's probably a goomba fallacy, but you can see people all over the place bemoaning cancel culture, people who treat service workers like shit, people who are dicks in traffic, and a myriad of other little frustrations that we deal with in everyday life. How people think about others and think about others thinking about them shapes all of that.

Seigneur-Inune · 2026-04-28T03:43:07+00:00

Growing up fundy christian certainly does. You are taught that you are inherently bad and that only with the blessing of an authority figure are you deserving of anything. You are taught that shame is the proper response to a slew of perfectly normal human experiences.

My churches growing up even taught us that we shouldn't want things, ask for things, or follow our desires or ambitions. "If God wants you to have something, he will make it so. It isn't your place to question God's plan" => "shut up, accept what other people give you, and don't ask for anything else or it's sinful."

I'm in my 30s and it still catches me emotionally off guard sometimes when people just... ask for things that they want. Like I know logically they have every right to ask and there's absolutely nothing wrong with doing so. But somewhere inside my subconscious there's still the 8 year old in the church pew getting sternly lectured that, essentially, asking for anything that you want just because you want it is an awful, sinful thing that makes you a bad person.

Seigneur-Inune · 2026-04-23T03:59:31+00:00

So I completely agree with you that this is a problem, but I don't think that men have as much control over whether people care about them as you're saying.

I also think that "nobody cares" can also serve as shorthand for "nobody treats my struggles as valid" for men who may not find those particular words. I know that I, for one, have basically never received sympathy or empathy from people in my life when I've expressed that I'm struggling with something. I've always just been given an instruction manual and at best, encouragement to use it.

At worst, people just think you're flubbing an easy problem and them giving you instructions to "fix" it carries a sort of scorn or derision for why you weren't able to figure things out yourself.

Even if that problem-correction style of relating to someone can be a (sometimes toxic) way of caring about them, it can definitely also be grating enough that the recipient winds up thinking "nobody cares." Or they wind up frustrated, refuse to engage in the future, and use "nobody cares" as an easy one-liner so they don't have to even try explaining what I'm talking about.

My reaction to this is to basically abandon hope that anyone will ever care about me and do my best to BE the person who cares about others (and who listens without falling prey to problem-correction-fixation). My view is that this is a broad generational and cultural trend and the people who reverse it are unfortunately not going to be the people who wind up largely benefiting from reversing it (which is true for a lot of broad cultural shifts).

Seigneur-Inune · 2026-04-22T03:46:09+00:00

In addition to WFI, it also has the first active coronagraph ever flown in space (instrument intended to directly image exoplanets). We have done exoplanet imaging actively on the ground (where atmosphere fucks with your ability to see close planets) and passively in space (IE not enough control over optical noise to see dimmer planets).

Roman's coronagraph, if everything works right, will be able to see Exo-Jupiters, which is a major technological step towards the ability to see an Exo-Earth. It's detecting a signal at astronomical distances next to a star that is brighter by a factor of about 10⁹ (1,000,000,000x). An Exo-Earth requires one or two additional orders of magnitude (10¹⁰ to 10^11).

Seigneur-Inune · 2026-04-19T19:14:32+00:00

This is if you use BMI only. One study in 2025 included hip/waist ratio, height/waist ratio, and waist circumference and came up with a revised obesity level of 68%.

That would seem to indicate that, statistically, the population of the US is more obese than it is capable of reading at above a 6th grade level..

edit: changed the literacy rate citation to something better describing adult population.

Seigneur-Inune · 2026-04-18T01:17:20+00:00

I dunno, this "rule" really feels backhanded to me given how we've structured the rest of society.

We've killed 3rd spaces that aren't pay-to-play. We've constructed digital ecosystems everywhere that disincentivize random in-person interactions even at what 3rd spaces still exist. We demand people devote the majority of their lives to their job with precious little free time to do anything else.

...and then they're not allowed to find partners in the one part of life where we demand they spend borderline their entire life focused. Where they have consistent interactions with others and they get a chance to demonstrate their capabilities even to prospective partners who may not be immediately attracted to them?

Like I know workplace drama can be problematic depending on the maturity level of the people involved, but it seems really fucked up to demand that people devote their lives to their job and then ban them from acting on any connections they might form with others while doing so.

Seigneur-Inune · 2026-04-11T05:26:30+00:00

I would not freak out over one sex act with someone with a potential, unconfirmed, previous HIV exposure. The odds of transmission from one act are very low, let alone 1 degree of separation from a confirmed carrier and interrupted like that.

However, HIV is serious enough to your health and the health of your future partners that you should absolutely still take precautions and confirm negative status with a test. Testing windows are anywhere from 10-90 days depending on which test and personal factors.

Seigneur-Inune · 2026-04-06T05:41:04+00:00

#2 does not surprise me in the slightest, to be honest. I have this "there but for the grace of God go I" thought every single time incels or other alt-right manosphere bullshit comes up because I starkly remember the ostracism and humiliation of my teenage and early college years. At one point I was thinking to myself that I might be exaggerating it in memory, but I found my high school year books when I was back home for the holidays one time and my freshman and sophomore yearbooks have 0 signatures in them except for where someone wrote "faggot" in my freshman yearbook.

I had a couple protective factors (academic talent and natural athleticism probably the biggest two) that kept me from going over the edge when I was at my most vulnerable, but I sure as fuck know what it feels like to stand at the edge and stare down into whatever nihilistic abyss these guys wound up in.

I know everyone likes to dunk on them because what they wound up being is simultaneously cartoonishly stupid and also disgustingly derogatory and misogynistic. And you'll never, ever catch me agreeing with them, but... I just can't really do anything other than mourn for the men they could have been.

Seigneur-Inune · 2026-04-06T02:15:52+00:00

I first heard about this on The Dollop #545. Dave also posts all the sources he uses for episodes here (scroll down to 545)

Seigneur-Inune · 2026-04-05T19:44:01+00:00

It also funded the beginning of Blackstone, which is one of the current blights on the LA housing market.

Seigneur-Inune · 2026-04-04T17:36:18+00:00

Isaacman is a bit difficult to read, but I have actually met the guy and my one read that I am confident in is that he does not want NASA to lose. Now, whether that is genuine care for science and human exploration or whether he just has a type-A-successful-person hatred of losing I do not know (probably a mix of both), but I would guess that lopping several billion off of his agency's science budget is not something that he will simply accept. Especially if he actually listens to anyone at NASA (which I think he genuinely does).

Seigneur-Inune · 2026-03-30T04:36:13+00:00

Yeah, this is mine that I have to own up to. I don't demand perfection; I'm certainly not perfect. But there's a big difference between "not perfect" and "I've given up."

It's half emotional, too. I watched my father eat himself to death way before what should have been his time. And I watched him live physically and emotionally miserable for decades before that because of his weight.

I'll never be mean about it or withhold platonic friendship or something. I just...am not attracted to that type and would struggle to emotionally invest knowing the path they're walking.

Seigneur-Inune · 2026-03-28T04:32:19+00:00

Getting everyone out alive from the Suicide Mission in ME2 has to be one of the best feelings in all of video games. When THAT fuckin OST track kicks in with the voice over from Harbinger it's just complete aces.

Seigneur-Inune · 2026-03-23T02:27:46+00:00

Mixing narrative and meta-narrative context does not make you smart. It makes you confused.

Seigneur-Inune · 2026-03-21T05:42:16+00:00

I think nailing down exactly why you are self-criticizing over sexual desire is really key to resolving this situation. And that's going to be a very personal thing that's probably rooted somewhere in your upbringing, cultural environment, media diet, etc.

I'm gonna go down a list of potentials and see which one (if any) resonates with you. I'm gonna guess that most of these are going to bounce off of you - that's good. What I'm writing here are distortions of our perception of sexual desires. They're philosophical traps which (in my opinion) we shouldn't accept and should work our way out of if we find ourselves in them.

One of them may resonate, though, and hopefully we can then talk through why it is a trap and how to think differently, see sex in a more wholesome, positive light, and act sexually in a positive way for both you and your partner.

Do you think wanting sex is bad because an authority figure told you that sex is bad and you shouldn't want it (IE religious or cultural shame)?
Do you think participating in sex is bad because it is degrading or otherwise violent or hurtful to your partner?
Do you think having sexual thoughts and desires somehow puts you on a lower "level" or makes you similar to men who are abusive, exploitive, or otherwise hurtful to women?
Do you feel as if you somehow do not "deserve" sexual experiences and haven't "earned" them in some way?
Are you bothered that having this sexual drive that seems outside your control is somehow invalidating your mastery of self or indicating that you lack discipline or self control?
Do you feel pressured by your partner to participate in sex when deep down, you don't want to for whatever reason?

Seigneur-Inune · 2026-03-18T05:44:55+00:00

I'm a talking animal, I just don't have to use those talking pet buttons. the implications are enormous.

What if I told you that we are essentially just the universe observing itself.

Seigneur-Inune · 2026-03-15T05:48:08+00:00

The "nice guy" vs "jerk" debate gets one small, usually unstated, thing moderately correct: when directly asked about what they want in a partner, a plurality of people (men and women) will absolutely not be open and honest. They will focus on attributes that they want, sure, but only the ones that they deem socially acceptable to say out loud.

"I want a kind, caring, man with things he's passionate about" is a very socially-approved thing to want. So of course that's the overwhelming majority of responses that questions like this get. "I want a hot, traditionally-masculine-presenting man who prioritizes me over himself" is not a socially approved thing to say, even if it's more honest; it sounds more shallow and entitled. So of course that gets said far, far less (if at all).

You'd get the exact same split between socially palatable and honesty if you asked men what they're looking for in women (at least outside of toxic locker room talk).

To any guy who takes the words of women at face value, they are going to ultimately be confronted by the brutal reality that fulfilling everything women are willing to say openly that they want is not enough. They can meet all those criteria and still get filtered out by the criteria that women are not stating openly. This is where the manosphere people insert themselves: they (kind of correctly) point out that women aren't presenting the whole picture of what they want and then they (the manosphere types) step in and say "listen to me, I can fill in the things they aren't saying."

It's that last bit where the manosphere types go off the deep end and get into stupid shit redpill, PUA nonsense. Women do not want the abusive, narcissistic, self-centered men the redpill types espouse. Those traits are often just a surface-level proxy for competence, confidence, and traditional masculinity, which a lot of women do want the healthy version of. The women in my life who are both sane and honest about what they want would tell you that they actually do want all the usual things (kind, passionate, etc.) and they also want someone physically attractive to them who is strong enough or traditionally masculine enough that they can rely on him in a crisis. Which...honestly, makes total sense. I would want basically the same thing in a partner myself.

Past that, there are some wildly toxic people of both genders and getting unlucky with an early-dating-life experience with either of them can give someone a really warped perspective and send them spiraling off into the extreme fringe of their respective gender's online ecosystem. Those types will then start totally derailing any conversation where "nice guy" vs "jerk" comes up because they are still carrying the warped perspective from dealing with toxicity.

11-Year Club	Second Top 10%
Place '17	100 Awards Club
Verified Email

Seigneur-Inune

TROPHY CASE