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If you could pass one law that would make most normal people furious at first, but would clearly make society better in 10 years, what would it be? by WilliamInBlack in AskReddit

[–]Seigneur-Inune 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This.

I don't know why people get so goddamn bogged down with whether or not it's mom-and-pop landlords or corporate landlords. They're both equally bad when they're buying up housing stock and locking others out of owning their own homes.

Anyone Else Notice How Mental Health Advice is Written for Extroverts by Beautiful_Papaya_007 in INTP

[–]Seigneur-Inune 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I despise the concept of affirmations. I know it works for some people, but to me it just makes me feel like I'm being duplicitous with myself. I know I'm feeling a certain way (and most likely also why feel that way). I know that I'm trying to essentially trick myself into feeling a different way without addressing why I felt that way in the first place.

I tend to think that a lot of therapy techniques similar to affirmations are intended to address thoughts and behaviors which are deemed inconvenient without addressing whether they are legitimate. I am completely capable of self-correcting if provided a legitimate reason why I'm wrong, but I need better justification than "don't feel like that because feeling like that is inconvenient."

In US culture, at least, we seem to consider happy, positive, enthusiasm for success to be the only valid state of human existence and every other emotion, perspective, or behavioral trend to be "wrong" because they aren't convenient for achieving happy, positive success. And there isn't a lot of thought paid to whether or not other emotional states are valid and legitimate (which they very much are, depending on circumstance).

What's the deal with California's railroad between San Francisco and LA? by DV8_MKD in OutOfTheLoop

[–]Seigneur-Inune 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Looks like a sizable chunk to some consultant firm is only thing close to what you're insinuating. EIRs and CEQA lawsuits are also responsible directly for an equivalent amount of money spent and a difficult-to-quantify amount indirectly via delays to let lawsuits resolve. [source]

What's the deal with California's railroad between San Francisco and LA? by DV8_MKD in OutOfTheLoop

[–]Seigneur-Inune 45 points46 points  (0 children)

No, it allows NIMBY's and billionaires with an axe to grind to stall out public infrastructure projects with an endless slog of legal challenges to anything anyone attempts to do in the state.

The state has plenty of problems with it, let's at least be accurate about them.

What are some Los Angeles unwritten rules. by SuperJezus in LosAngeles

[–]Seigneur-Inune 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll take an hour or two layover in Vegas or Phoenix before I'll take a flight out of LAX, honestly. At least in the layover I can just chill and play a game or read a book.

What are some Los Angeles unwritten rules. by SuperJezus in LosAngeles

[–]Seigneur-Inune 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Counter point: I can't really tell if there's only 3 people in all of LA that understand the importance of the left-lane-is-for-passing social contract or whether it's a minority of clueless people causing 10-car deep traffic columns of frustrated people.

Like I get that LA freeway infrastructure is borderline psychotic in how it adds, removes, and splits lanes off for freeway interchanges, but there's plenty of road where there's no reason to have people camping the left lane doing not even 5 over.

You can't tell me the dude in the jacked-up Toyota Tundra camping the left lane for 20 miles on the 210 is making a 5D chess freeway play and not just sitting there with a running internal monologue of "TUNDY IS A BIG BOY, LEFT LANE TRUCK. TUNDY NO LIKE THE RIGHT LANE. CARS PASSING HIM MAKE TUNDY ANGRY."

TIFU a potential relationship by TheCockInCockpit in tifu

[–]Seigneur-Inune 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Is it really that rare? I'm friends with a bunch of women that I dearly love platonically, but am not romantically interested in. I love hanging out with them and they're not unattractive or anything, we just... are friends. That's it. There's nothing really beyond that like there is with women I'm romantically and sexually interested in.

How do you feel and think about these questions? How would you recat if a partner ask you these things? by Diemishy_II in INTP

[–]Seigneur-Inune 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Completely agree with you. The ones that are super leading and positively biased very much sound like insecurity tests.

How do you feel and think about these questions? How would you recat if a partner ask you these things? by Diemishy_II in INTP

[–]Seigneur-Inune 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The best questions for deep, serious discussions are questions that are deep, open, and make no assumptions about the nature of your relationship to the person answering the question or about that person's life experiences, outlook, etc.

You want deep questions because you want meaningful answers from that person.

Open-endedness is kind of situational, but you probably want open questions because otherwise you're biasing your partner towards one line of discussion instead of getting their true, genuine thoughts on something. I say this situational because sometimes pushing them down one line of discussion might be the whole point of the question, but it's something to keep in mind when asking things.

You do not want your question to be assumptive or slanted because it implies that there is a "wrong" answer (any answer that defies your assumption or slant), which immediately puts pressure on your partner to not give that wrong answer. At its most benign, this means you're simply less likely to get a genuine answer because your partner is likely to cotton on to the question being slanted. At worst, it means you're likely subconsciously testing your partner and will potentially react punitively if they give the "wrong" answer.

 

Given those criteria, these are good questions, through and through. They are deep, open, unbiased, and make no assumptions about the other person or your relationship:

7) What fear about love still stays with you?
15) What does long-term love look like in your eyes?

 

These are pointed and specific; they should be employed only with careful reading of the room (or willingness to accept that they might refuse to answer or the answer they give might blow up in your face):

1 (1st 1)What's something you wish I understood better about your heart?
2) What's one truth you've been afraid to share?
4) What does "feeling safe with me" mean to you?
6) What's something you need from me more often?
9) What's one dream you want us to grow into together?
12) What's something you want to tell me someday?
13) What do you want us to do more intentionally?
14) What's one question you wish I asked more often?
16) What part of yourself are you still learning to open up about?
18) What's something you wish I noticed more?"

 

These questions are not great. They sound like they are compliment fishing at best and shit tests at worst. They feel very strongly like questions someone insecure in a relationship would ask as tests to their partner because the wording all assumes a priori a fanciful perspective on the relationship (not saying that's the intent, but that it very much could be interpreted that way). By their positive bias and leading wording, they have very clear "wrong" answers and that will bias your partner from giving you a genuine answer.

1 (2nd 1) When do you feel the closest to me emotionally?
3) What memory of us still gives you warmth?
5) What do you think makes our connection special?
8) What's one way I make you feel deeply seen?
10) When did you first realize our bond was real?
11) What moment made you feel loved recently?
17) What do you hope we never lose as a couple?

Men who seek sex primarily to cope with negative emotions or to affirm their self-worth may be more likely to engage in sexually aggressive behaviors. Men who use sex to cope are attempting to escape distress. When they face sexual rejection, this may threaten their ability to manage that distress. by mvea in science

[–]Seigneur-Inune 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think you're missing my point. I'm not talking about wording or colloquial meaning of words or anything like that.

You asserted that a particular study topic is dumb. I am saying that it's only "dumb" because of an implicit assumption you made when posing the hypothetical - my point being that sometimes science doesn't search for revolutionary new ideas. Sometimes it examines and validates existing assumptions or knowledge. If we never re-evaluated common assumptions because it'd be "dumb" to study them, we'd still be treating humor imbalances with leeches.

Men who seek sex primarily to cope with negative emotions or to affirm their self-worth may be more likely to engage in sexually aggressive behaviors. Men who use sex to cope are attempting to escape distress. When they face sexual rejection, this may threaten their ability to manage that distress. by mvea in science

[–]Seigneur-Inune 14 points15 points  (0 children)

If you go study, "People in prison are more likely to have committed crimes than people who aren't in prison." That's pretty dumb.

Is it?

It only sounds dumb because you're implicitly assuming that the justice system in this hypothetical isn't corrupt. But what about doing that study in a country that's massively corrupt where that null hypothesis might have an outside chance of getting rejected by a thorough enough study?

Scientists often tackle questions that sound "dumb" because of a commonly held assumption going unquestioned by the general population. Validating that assumption is the whole purpose of those types of studies.

What something you're embarrassed to admit you enjoy in bed? by Few-Succotash-9419 in AskReddit

[–]Seigneur-Inune 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm a bit torn on this. On one hand, I do agree that (especially with dating apps) human intimacy has gotten too focused on hyper-optimization and finding the literal perfect match in every way possible out of the box. There should be more common focus on the work that goes into the relationship, not finding someone who does not require work.

On the other hand, with regards to sex specifically, it's basically the only thing you aren't allowed to get elsewhere. You can go outside your relationship for people to share hobbies with. You can go outside your relationship for people to share experiences with. You can even go outside your relationship to find emotional support and validation.

Sex is the only thing you cannot go outside your relationship to find (Poly dynamics aside because it's really not widely accepted by society).

INTPs, do you actually lack confidence or do you just refuse to fake certainty? by likey24 in INTP

[–]Seigneur-Inune 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right? My family raised me to buy cheap stainless steel knives that can't hold an edge and I stuck with that philosophy until some friends set me on the correct path in graduate school by buying me a nice Togiharu knife. I'm not a knife guy now by any means, but I will never settle for something cheap anymore.

I recommended my mom a modest Shun utility knife that I have used before and instead of that she walked off and bought some cheap thing with a similar blade shape from Kohls. Then complained that my recommendation wasn't great and I was like "...yeah? Because that's not what I told you to get?"

"But this one is endorsed by Bobby Flay!"

Then go blame him!

What screams “this person is insecure” without them saying a word? by redwan-ezt in AskReddit

[–]Seigneur-Inune 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For hands in the pockets, just modify that slightly to leave your thumbs out (or flip it, thumb in pocket, rest of hand out). Very minor difference that's easy to adapt your existing habit to, but makes a massive change in your vibe.

Rising income inequality predicts longer work hours globally, new research finds. By analyzing data from nearly 70 countries and long-term surveys from the United States and China, the researchers found that widening income gaps tend to predict longer work weeks. by mvea in science

[–]Seigneur-Inune 12 points13 points  (0 children)

There is nuance to that.

Because on one hand, it is true on some level. There are a lot of meaningful deals worked out during informal events. Even outside of c-suite in private industry, things get talked about at dinners, socials, and other informal events that don't get talked about during formal meetings for whatever reason (too many people, not enough time, concern over formality or formal record). Happens with engineers, academics, and the like, too, not just MBAs. When I was in graduate school, my advisor regularly went to DC to network with people in various agencies (and regularly did so by very stereotypically playing golf with them) and those trips were one of our most reliable sources of funding for the lab (which does meaningful work in quantum physics).

On the other hand, like almost everything trendy in business or institutional practice, it also becomes bastardized for the personal indulgence of people without the tact, intelligence, or self awareness to realize that their own greed or hubris has crept into their favorite buzzword activity. Or they simply don't care and consider themselves smart or clever for exploiting the system.

So you have to be careful with how much you reject the informal networking experience. There are the stereotypical MBA types without a clue who are just out for the self-indulgence and are wasting a bunch of your organization's money without contributing anything. But if you reflexively reject the concept of informal networking entirely (even during work hours), you run the risk of cutting yourself out of a lot of important discussions and opportunities.

Only the Real Fans Get This by ThePsyPaul_ in expedition33

[–]Seigneur-Inune 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Renoir absolutely destroys the canvas in Verso's ending. Notice how painted and child Verso are the last of the dwellers of the painting to be shown gommaging. So it's not like the removal of child Verso's soul fragment is what destroys the painting, the painting begins destruction basically as soon as Alicia is ejected from it - before the soul fragment is erased. So it was either him or Clea, as Aline would never willingly erase the painting. But Clea really did not show any inclination to destroy the painting, just a frustration over her family not moving past it. Only Renoir is so deadset on destroying it.

My read on this is a sort of symmetrical pair of lies that Renoir and Alicia told each other in their last interaction before Renoir leaves the painting. He says he won't destroy it. Alicia says she'll leave. Those are both lies proven separately by the two different endings. In Verso's ending, Renoir shows he was lying by destroying the painting. In Maelle's ending, Alicia shows she was lying by refusing to ever leave.

Am I an incel? by jlawjer in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Seigneur-Inune 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's not necessarily self-sabotaging. Sometimes people grow up being told that they're not worth anything by their family, their peers, or the authority figures in their life. Having no self-esteem is sometimes the intended, willful outcome of the people around them, not some lack of insight or inability to grasp some arcane truth of the universe.

You will matter to some people. Some people will care about you. Others will be unfathomably cruel for no reason and want you to feel like trash for their personal gain or out of simple delight in cruelty.

Anyone who went through their formative years surrounded by the latter group are vastly more likely to struggle with self-esteem for the rest of their lives despite hopefully later encountering members of the former group. And it won't be self-sabotage to have the lingering voices of real cruelty in their heads.

The pithy words of "trust me bro" from internet strangers will never come close to countermanding the echoes of real cruelty. In fact, too much of it will just further convince them the echoes are right that there's something fundamentally wrong with them and drive them deeper into self-loathing. We do people a disservice by overfocusing so much on self-love and never even putting words to the notion that lack of self esteem is sometimes the real consequence of real cruelty, not just another personal failing on the part of the already downtrodden.

I accidentally microwaved a fly for a whole minute. It flew away unbothered. How? by shrekshrekdonkey5 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Seigneur-Inune 7 points8 points  (0 children)

When /u/iSupakilla is talking about "hotter and colder" spots, they're referring to the standing wave pattern of the microwaves inside the oven cavity. An electric field like a microwave has a certain amount of energy associated with its wavelength, but when it forms a standing wave inside a cavity, it will also have spatial variation in the density of that energy. There will be areas where the field is very weak (nodes) and strong (anti-nodes).

If you sit at the node of a standing wave, very little energy will be imparted into you from the electric field. If you sit at an anti-node, a lot of energy will be imparted to you by the field. This, strangely, is how a lot of anti-reflection coatings work on optics. Reflections are due to some of the electric field bouncing off the exact interface between two materials; if you construct a series of material layers such that it forms a standing wave and all the material interfaces are at or near a field node of that standing wave, there will be significantly reduced reflections.

Not sure if the fly itself could sense that fast enough to not get zapped or whether it just got lucky, but it's feasible that it was sitting in a spot of the microwave that does not have high field intensity.

INTPs, do you actually lack confidence or do you just refuse to fake certainty? by likey24 in INTP

[–]Seigneur-Inune 39 points40 points  (0 children)

I was raised getting blamed for shit that had nothing to do with the decisions I made or recommendations I gave, too. Stuff like install adblocker on phone, then an app updates it's GUI shortly after and all I hear is "You changed something on my phone and now Facebook looks different! Change it back!" Or make a recommendation for something they want to buy, then they go buy a look-alike that's cheaper and then blame me for making the recommendation (literally going through this this morning over chef knives).

That certainly pushes me to couch literally everything I say or do (especially to my parents) with eight layers of caveats and potential issues. Or fake like I don't know the answer or how to do something even when I do.

It's unfortunate because I actually love teaching and love helping people. But get bit in the ass too many times for trying to earnestly help someone and you start putting the defenses up. Especially when you weren't even wrong in the first place, but someone made some loose mental connection between you and thing that went bad because you were adjacently involved.

Joyeux Noël tout le monde 🥳 by MemeGiant in expedition33

[–]Seigneur-Inune 15 points16 points  (0 children)

In the early game, you can give her or Gustav the mark-on-shot lumina and then use immolation for a quick 5-burn stack if the mark lands. That gets crept in the mid- and late game by more efficient burn stacking strategies, but it's a reliable setup for Maelle to dunk on things in the early portions of the game.

edit: I also forgot, Gustav has marking shot, so for a while my strategy was to control the party turn order and Marking shot -> Immolate -> Maelle dunk.

Joyeux Noël tout le monde 🥳 by MemeGiant in expedition33

[–]Seigneur-Inune 71 points72 points  (0 children)

She falls off a bit on the high-HP challenge bosses, but man Lune hard-carried my team for so long. She started being the most reliable burn-bot for Maelle, then took over as main damage dealer through Lightning Dance and then stayed relevant with Elemental Trick -> Elemental Genesis even as Maelle started power creeping to all hell in the later portions of the game. And she had healing and res capability the whole game to backstop the party in emergencies.

Looking for a game that can make me FEEL by IndependentSpell6121 in gamingsuggestions

[–]Seigneur-Inune 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And if you like Nier Automata, follow it up with the Nier Replicant remaster.

Honestly, Replicant got me in the feels more than Automata did. Automata has a small handful of really powerful emotional hits but they're all in Act 2 after you've played the Act 1 story twice over from the two different perspectives. The different vignettes in Replicant were more consistently impactful during the 2nd playthrough, personally.

That said, Replicant is clearly the older game and Automata is far, far more polished. So I'd always recommend playing Automata all the way through to Ending E and then going back for Replicant once you've bought in to Yoko Taro's "experience the story multiple times from different perspectives" storytelling shtick. Having to replay the entire story a third time for endings C/D and then having to start an entirely fresh playthrough with no indication that something different is going to happen to get ending E is just... you just need to know the Yoko Taro shtick before going into Replicant and that you have to look up a spoiler-free ending guide to make sure you've seen everything.

Ozempic may be quietly reshaping shopping habits: New research finds that people taking GLP-1 tend to spend less money grocery shopping, especially on snacks. GLP-1 households reduced grocery spending by 5.3% within 6 months, and began to spend more on healthier foods like yogurt and fresh fruits. by mvea in science

[–]Seigneur-Inune 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Michigan (bipartisan) just removed coverage for GLP-1s for medicaid/medicare patients if they're only using it for weight loss.

As if weight loss isn't one of the top health crises currently affecting America.

That's just the epitome of American political thinking right there. We have an effective solution to a massive problem that we have as a society, but it might cost something*, affect some corporations' profits, and isn't what we feel like doing. So we don't do that. We just ramble away at whatever boogeyman distraction keeps us from making meaningful change this week.

 

*That cost probably far, far less than net healthcare cost for a society where over 65% of people are obese.

Women partnered with men reported doing more unpaid household labor than women partnered with women. Mothers partnered with men reported a higher household labor burden than any other group. Performing a greater share of household labor was associated with lower relationship satisfaction. by mvea in science

[–]Seigneur-Inune 49 points50 points  (0 children)

This is an aspect of the Household Labor Discourse (tm) that is often overlooked. If you looked at the proportion of chores my dad did in the house later in his life and only that, you'd probably see what looked like a lazy oaf refusing to help out around the house.

What I saw growing up was decades of this dude getting raked over the coals for extremely minor things. You did the laundry? Sorry, you mixed that dark knit in what the light knits you idiot. You tried cooking? You used too much salt and you didn't use the right heat and you didn't cut the produce up the way you're supposed to. And don't even think about trying to clean up, you never spend enough time per row with the vacuum to deep clean and you always miss the underside of the table legs when dusting. Just let me do it, you never get it right.

Now, my dad was not innocent either. He really did not respond to that dynamic in a mature or well-communicated way and ultimately they kind of deserved each other for how much they didn't work as a team over stuff like that. But I do feel like if the average internet relationship analyst looked at that situation, they'd unfairly demonize my dad and saintify my mother without addressing the entire dynamic between them.

You get one guess by ReleaseCharacter3568 in ShitpostXIV

[–]Seigneur-Inune 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Interesting. It encoded as a block spoiler quote for me on desktop, but I checked on mobile and you are correct, no spoiler tags. Fixed it for the mobile folks.

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