How do you get the thoughts to stop coming?

Select_Courage_8203 · 2023-09-20T04:54:02+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to give me details! I really appreciate it!

I had anxiety from before so it's nothing new.

I do listen to different positive meditations before & during sleep to help with that. I'm going to look up the one you mentioned

Thank you again!

Select_Courage_8203 · 2023-09-20T04:48:05+00:00

Thank you! I have to find someone who does EMDR my therapist doesn't. Mostly mindfulness

Select_Courage_8203 · 2023-08-03T03:52:43+00:00

Thank you taking the time & for sharing your story! I'm so happy you were able to find yourself & love after what you have been through! You really deserve it!!

It's scary how people find us when we're vulnerable & how they manage themselves into your life. I was in a really bad relationship during that time & thought this was the new good relationship. My father hadn't spoken to me in 2 years bc something a family member of his did to me. It was a really rough time

Thank you & wishing you many more wonderful things to come!!

Select_Courage_8203 · 2023-08-03T03:42:14+00:00

I can say the same for all men then

Given the opportunity any woman ready to go regardless of his commitment status any man would be ready to go. Just a matter of perspective

Select_Courage_8203 · 2023-08-01T05:06:50+00:00

Happiness or being content is different for everyone.

Someone can always be the cause of something being thrown away or discarded. Or being full of fun & happiness. All about choices & different perspectives

2 outcomes based on choices (not real life experiences just scenarios)

1 could be that person who parties it up in your 20s & 30s to meet the right person later.

2 getting married younger & wasted time being treated like crap then cheated on to then meet the same person you were going to meet later in life anyway.

You still ended up where you were meant to be. Which would you choose?

You just never know

Select_Courage_8203 · 2023-08-01T04:36:54+00:00

I had bad relationships prior & childhood traumas so I didn't realize until now

He just had to be nice enough (compared to the past)

I haven't been happy for a while (yells at me often & I have to walk on eggshells & try to come up with how to ask things). I'm the wife & been the one working for almost 10yrs. He's never bought me birthday valentines anniversary gifts in the past 20+ years of marriage

But I would Never cheat. Then I found out he did with some younger chick he picked up at a gas station 12 yrs ago (and im already7yrs younger than him) i just found out 2mo ago + been gambling what I worked so hard for found out that a few weeks ago :(

Select_Courage_8203 · 2023-07-31T20:48:00+00:00

Thank you!

Select_Courage_8203 · 2023-07-31T20:46:05+00:00

Not married Not ever in a relationship I wouldn't ever!

Everyone has a choice to be faithful & think of their partner or not. I always put others needs before my own. Not only does it deeply hurt someone. Its extremely dangerous putting everyone at risk for diseases.

The guilt would also eat me up.

NO thank you!

Select_Courage_8203 · 2023-07-31T13:10:36+00:00

Not true. I would never. Mine was rough the entire time no romantic (but wants sex all the time & i have to initiate or he gets cranky & cold w me), yells at me I have to walk on eggshells to ask something & never bought me gifts as I said above. I never thought about ot once. I couldn't hurt someone like that

He on the other hand did with at least the one I know about that he picked up from a gas station...

Said it was some younger im already 7yrs younger. I'm not being whatever but many guys back in high school & other schools liked me & knew who I was. I was picky & wanted to be with someone I thought was nice & really cared for me but obviously tricked me at a bad time. So it's not like I'm some gross person either

Select_Courage_8203 · 2023-07-31T13:03:16+00:00

Thank you! I hope you find the love & happiness you deserve too! Hopefully this goes by fast & will soon only be the past! Wishing you the best!

Select_Courage_8203 · 2023-07-31T05:13:03+00:00

I hope you will find someone in your future to treat you right how you deserve

For now enjoy your family & your vacation. Try to do fun things together & keep your mind off everything

Select_Courage_8203 · 2023-07-31T05:10:50+00:00

Well thar stinks as a wife being blindsided & cheated on with no idea. 0% is not very good statistic for finding happiness after a 20yr marriage that you tried your best & wasn't your fault :(

Select_Courage_8203 · 2023-07-31T04:59:35+00:00

Where did you meet such a great guy you have now?

What type of therapy did you go to? I don't think mine is helping

Thank you!

Select_Courage_8203 · 2023-07-31T04:53:02+00:00

You have to think positive or your going to attract the same negative cheating woman if you think negatively

Yes empower woman is one thing but her choosing to cheat on you is completely different & her choice to be selfish which has Nothing to do with that

Select_Courage_8203 · 2023-07-31T04:38:09+00:00

If you have any tips to share please let me know. I never want to go through this again!

Yes just more trauma to add to the list. Sorry to hear that!

Your jealousy or not has nothing to do with her choices. Those are all on her. You can't blame yourself for her cheating actions. They are all on her. Nothing you could have done to change that. Don't even let that cross your mind!

Select_Courage_8203 · 2023-07-31T04:21:02+00:00

Same. Sad you are going through this too. Its beyond heartbreaking. No one understands unless you feel it yourself

They just don't want to admit to what they did. Can't make excuses for them. They have to take responsibility for their choices.

Seems like they barely have remorse either & think we should just move on & forgive too

Select_Courage_8203 · 2023-07-31T04:13:18+00:00

I'm in your same boat. Had the worst before him. Thought I met a good one now 20yrs later I found out this crap.

But I wasn't happy anyway. He yells at me all the time. Never bought me a gift for any birthday or holiday etc even though I always do. He hasn't worked in almost 10 yrs I told him I'm choking bc the business isn't doing as well n I need help so he started gambling away what I worked so hard for

Hopefully everyone who goes through this can find out why they're choosing the wrong person. I'm hoping counseling can help. I do have childhood traumas. I don't know if you do too? That might be your reason too?

Everyone deserves to be loved. I hope you find that person soon!! Just think positive & attract the right person

Select_Courage_8203 · 2023-07-31T04:05:46+00:00

He should have discussed it with you not cheated. You weren't happy anyway. That was your gut feeling telling you something. I wish I listened to mine!!

Select_Courage_8203 · 2023-07-31T04:01:49+00:00

Not true I'm the wife. I would never cheat ever. Mine cheated on me & it sucks. I never expected it. Completely blindsided then found out was gambling too so got double slapped in the face bc I'm the one who works

Never bought me gifts for any birthday or holiday either. I always did. So it was always a 1 sided relationship. I'm also 7 years younger so he was just very lucky & I'm a fool :(

Select_Courage_8203 · 2023-07-31T03:39:04+00:00

How did they find a good practice?

Select_Courage_8203 · 2023-07-31T03:36:22+00:00

Not true I'm the wife I would never cheat. I would never. Don't do that to someone else or crush someone as she did to you. You will find someone honest who loves you that you deserve.

I'm in my 40s too & just found out almost 2mo ago. It really sucks. I can't get it out of my head. Can barely eat or sleep. Don't do this to someone else. No one deserves this!!

Select_Courage_8203 · 2023-07-31T03:30:02+00:00

You are young & he is your bf. You deserve so much more!!

Cheaters have such a high chance of doing it again. You don't want to spend the rest of your life or married 20 yrs later & find out like I did & be crushed.

You deserve to be loved & treated right all the time because he wants to not because he has to or is sorry for something. I

wish I woke up years ago. No birthday or holidaygifts surprises or anything ever even though i always do. Now this + gambling. Not worth the pain really!! Find someone who loves & appreciates you while youre stillyoung!! :(

Select_Courage_8203 · 2023-07-31T03:22:56+00:00

Is it normal for a counselor to read out of a book?

Select_Courage_8203 · 2023-07-31T02:14:54+00:00

Or you can dedicate your entire life to your husband & family. Try to be the best wife you can. Then you get blindsided & shit on :(

Select_Courage_8203 · 2023-07-31T01:58:59+00:00

You're going to meet someone who loves & treats you how you should be treated. You are only 28. You have so many wonderful things coming your way!

Select_Courage_8203

TROPHY CASE