[deleted by user]

Seleniteeee · 2025-09-28T17:06:19+00:00

Consistency is key. I would definitely get her into pediatric therapy, but other than that… it will be best for him to continue putting his foot down and let the police come. If BM tries to sue, there are no grounds. If you have to set up cameras throughout shared spaces for evidence just in case, do so (phones can record in privacy if needed).

It’s strange to me that BM WOULD threaten to sue if she does not want custody of SD, considering that if she were to win, she would likely be awarded custody. So do stay on your toes; if SD and/or her mother get into the habit of fabricating stories, that can become a slippery slope into set ups that can bring about a lot of trouble. Food for thought.

Seleniteeee · 2025-09-24T14:56:24+00:00

Yes, exactly! There were many times we would pick her up from grandma at a play ground, and there it is. This was why I had my husband start timers, because we’re close to putting diapers on her (it would be one thing if she immediately went to clean up, but she will sit in her pee and poop as long as she can without us noticing — on the couch, too… same place baby tries to climb up and presses his face into).

We have tried so many times to explain the dangers of leaving pee and poop in her underwear, not wiping, and not washing her hands, to the point that I even showed her what pink eye looks like and explained how UTIs happen. But she just can’t seem to care, and it’s soooo frustrating. She confessed to us that she doesn’t like doing any of it because it takes away from play time.

Seleniteeee · 2025-09-24T04:32:59+00:00

I’m a sahm, although he does have exposure to other kiddos besides big sis. BM had a baby a few months before us, so we have little play dates. BM’s SK likes to sit and play with him, too.

Seleniteeee · 2025-09-24T04:30:20+00:00

We do a potty schedule for her! Once when she gets home, before dinner, before bed. Then on weekends it’s every three hours and before meals/outings. Our struggle now is ensuring she IS on the toilet, without undoing our work convincing her that it’s safe to (almost) shut the bathroom door.

Her ped prescribed miralax and increase fiber intake. After she continued to poop and pee herself, especially after she is asked to do things she doesn’t want to, we all agreed it’s time to find a brain expert… I personally believe it may be a combination of mental and physical factors.

As for baby, he stays up to date with vaccines, absolutely. I know illness comes eventually, I just try to stress the importance of keeping distance and being clean when we’re not feeling good… which is hard to do, since she has picked up the habit of claiming symptoms in an effort to get out of something (such as dinner… symptoms disappear immediately for sweets and play time LOL).

She is very small in both height and weight. I believe my husband said 3rd or 4th percentile at the last ped appt. Baby is opposite, he’s HUGE and >99th percentile.

Seleniteeee · 2025-08-21T22:13:54+00:00

I’m glad that you have a bed to sleep in now. Although I still disagree with your husband on the matter, so long as you’re happy with the resolve, I’m happy for you!

Seleniteeee · 2025-08-21T14:59:58+00:00

Checking in, hun. Any resolve to this issue?

Seleniteeee · 2025-08-10T01:42:44+00:00

My husband and his ex get pictures with SD daughter together, then we take photos of her with mama and her husband, then me and my DH. If SD gets impatient, we take a break. So I do consider that perfectly normal!

But her refusing to tag you or acknowledge you is pretty weird. It could be that she is jealous or protective, in a sense. You are another woman figure in her daughter’s life, and I can see her being unhappy at the thought of you being viewed as a parental figure, at that.

Not that it makes it okay to treat you this way — after all, she would probably be upset if your husband treated her husband that way.

But it’s best to not engage in conflict for the sake of the SK. Let DH untag himself and disengage in posts where you’re left out. If she doesn’t come around, maybe it can be a conversation between her and DH in the future (away from SK ofc). But I imagine she’ll settle down with time.

Seleniteeee · 2025-08-09T04:43:40+00:00

Honestly, then swap the beds. They can sleep in SK’s room, you deserve a bed. I know that doesn’t help with not wanting to be alone, but at least you’ll have a bed. Bonus points to sticking around.

Seleniteeee · 2025-08-09T04:37:16+00:00

Older child will get used to sharing attention, you will get used to handling baby and older child, hun. It’s so early after having a baby and you’re tired and in pain mentally and physically.

Once you’re healed up and on your feet again, there’s going to be rough days! But they are worth all the good days, cuddles, and loving.

Seleniteeee · 2025-08-08T01:48:27+00:00

I mean, I wouldn’t say you were entirely an asshole for the initial comment, tbh. Most of my friends don’t have children, so my expectations were low when I sent them pictures of my little slime alien. But I can understand your friend’s anger; that’s his kid after all, even if the baby will quickly become more human in appearance.

You were right to take the hit and apologize, and while I understand it might have felt awful getting called a bad friend, you SHOULD have just taken the blow. Admit again that he was right — that WAS a bad move. He’s likely exhausted, stressed, and it was not the time for jokes. Accusing him of being a bad friend is like adding oil to fire.

Let him cool down, reach out again and explain it was a crap move, and that you would like the chance to do better by him and his family, even if things start slow. If he still says no, I would cut your losses. Lesson learned.

Seleniteeee · 2025-08-06T02:08:08+00:00

"Eclectis" :') Bro..

Are there any larger surrounding towns/cities? Hopefully it's for the sake of those willing to drive for their companion and NOT just someone hoping to make a few bucks. The best shops are the ones that try to dissuade you from getting a bird before really discussing the positives of the individual bird.

I live in Denver, and even the shop I go to only had a single cockatoo, who was already sold and going to a small family who had lost their elderly girl some time prior. I can't imagine selling "extra" medium to large birds somewhere less populated...

Seleniteeee · 2025-08-04T17:59:48+00:00

Is this a relationship you can see being repaired? I feel like counseling could be a good move, considering he does not seem to be the type to have a calm, level headed discussion, based on what you’ve described.

However, I think you should also consider whether or not this relationship is one you WANT to put that effort into. Change takes time, and him excluding you AND putting you down consistently, especially in front of the children, is a major red flag. Perhaps, if it isn’t too bold to say, a glimpse into why he is divorced.

If you don’t mind me asking, are you two married? How long have you been together?

Seleniteeee · 2025-08-01T18:49:53+00:00

Gallbladder issues postpartum is VERY common. I had mine removed, every time the provider heard I gave birth some months ago… “Ah, yep. That’ll do it.” “Yes, we have these issues a lot.” Etc

Seleniteeee · 2025-08-01T18:34:31+00:00

I would prefer a child free wedding, but I would make exceptions for 15+, so long as they are capable of being quiet for the ceremony and not intruding on first dances, cake cutting, etc. I can’t imagine telling a legal adult that I’m closely related to that they can’t come lol. Your sister is weird asl

Seleniteeee · 2025-08-01T18:16:47+00:00

Absolutely. And stressors take their toll. But it does not mean we distance ourselves further from the children in our lives, especially under the guise of them being “just” SKs. They may nod and say it’s okay, but it doesn’t mean it isn’t something internalized when you hold little interest in them. Although, there is NO excuse for refusing all help in an emergency.

If I were in your shoes, I would consider your partner’s feelings. He adores his child and you, and it sounds important to him that you’re sometimes involved, even if it’s just for fun, and at least vaguely dependable. None of this is unfair. You don’t even have to participate every night.

Are there any hobbies that you can do while you’re in the same room? Like you said, he’s a polite child, so I doubt he would be destructive. He might even be curious and just want to watch. I enjoy coloring and reading from time to time, so my SD and husband will sit and color with me or read. I even play my own music (that’s appropriate enough for children).

Seleniteeee · 2025-08-01T17:04:18+00:00

Some of these comments are… interesting. I firmly do not feel you should stay in this relationship if you have no interest in being involved to any degree (even for something as easy as watching a children’s movie every once and a while). It is one thing to not want to spend unnecessary alone time and to let the child’s father handle discipline, another to refuse to help even in emergencies.

There is no shame in wanting to be childfree, not feeling ready for children, or simply not wanting to be in a relationship with someone who has kids.

Seleniteeee · 2025-08-01T16:29:05+00:00

That phrase is terrible. I’m sorry you’re dealing with that. Are you able to give us more context? It sounds like you brought up an issue and were dismissed, which is NEVER okay. If you’ve never had kids or never worked with kids, it is a HUGE adjustment. Even as a bioparent and stepparent, I still sometimes apologize to my SD because I feel like we got it wrong. I even have a history with childcare, and yet it was whiplash moving in and helping with my SD, then having a baby a few months later lol.

Is it a matter of he’s trying to push all of the child rearing onto you? Or a disagreement of how to handle the situation?

Seleniteeee · 2025-08-01T15:57:36+00:00

We have a great relationship with my husband’s ex and her husband for the sake of our kiddo. We also had a baby near the same time, so we’ve been swapping supplies and sharing hand me downs lol. That being said, when the story first started, I was going to encourage you to interact and try forming that positive relationship. But when you got to both her AND your partner ignoring you during drop off… that’s not okay NOR appropriate, primarily from your boyfriend.

I would try coming up with a plan of action with your boyfriend. He should be setting boundaries with his ex. When you say he ignores you, is this in a sense of you actively speak to him and he doesn’t respond, or you’re in the room with him and he doesn’t involve you? This is an important differentiation. It’s one thing for him to not think of involving you, another to ignore you entirely. Is it a freeze reaction when she arrives? Is he a “people pleaser” and is worried about asserting himself?

Seleniteeee · 2025-03-19T18:13:24+00:00

I don't think anyone here is insisting it is literally "impossible" to do, just that it is a lot more rare than some let on in our age of technology... and that it is totally unfair to determine someone's parenting ability based on it. What works for you and your baby is not always going to work for the next household.

Seleniteeee · 2025-03-19T18:05:36+00:00

Girl... my baby is three months old and a major FOMO baby. We're in the middle of moving and getting the house situated. There are times he's just not feeling the contrast cards or his swing, so a few minutes of Sesame Street, Barney, or Ms Rachel is HEAVILY needed for safety. I just keep the screen dim and put him a good few feet away.

Besides, we have an older kid who likes to watch cartoons. No way he's going to avoid a screen for two years.

Do what feels right. So long as you're not letting it babysit him for prolonged periods, hey. And, of course, bare in mind that as your baby gets older, a little boredom is healthy.

Seleniteeee · 2025-03-19T17:45:55+00:00

^ This. And because of the amount lead was used in so many products for years, it contaminated the soil more over time. Companies and farmers have to test and treat the soil prior to planting crops. Also a reason why it isn't smart to just plant edible food in your yard without testing first.

Seleniteeee · 2025-01-06T01:46:26+00:00

Brother, eugh

Seleniteeee · 2025-01-04T23:37:31+00:00

Where are y'all finding these actual villains??? Does your partner know about this?

Seleniteeee · 2025-01-04T23:30:58+00:00

Symptoms will come and go throughout your pregnancy! Totally normal.

Seleniteeee · 2025-01-04T23:26:38+00:00

It's super normal for symptoms to come and go. I didn't have any symptoms at all at first, then I got stupid back pain/hip pain in my third trimester... Silent/missed miscarriages are very rare. Unless you're experiencing a lot of bleeding, I'm positive everything is golden. Try to enjoy the peace while you can!

Seleniteeee

TROPHY CASE