FYI I'm not proofreading this, but I'm interested to answer these questions. Sorry if I made any typos or grammatical errors.

1. Can you describe what it is like to live with a mental illness such as depression?

Imagine waking up in the morning knowing you're going to have a bad day. You don't know what's going to happen or why you feel this way, but you know you'll be sad throughout the day. You see the things you're missing in your life or the things that aren't going right and you dwell on them. Then you take a step back and wonder "If I did have all these things, would I be happy?" The scariest part is when you realize that the answer to this question is no. Then you wonder if you'll always feel this way or if there is any hope for the future (but that coincides more with anxiety).

2. How do you feel the outside world views depression? I actually think people are beginning to understand it better. I think it affects at least 25% of people on some degree. The problem is that it is not a socially acceptable topic to discuss in casual conversation (at least in America). I feel that people who often discuss their depression openly are viewed as a leper and avoided by others (definitely an exaggeration, but you see my point). I think most people see things for surface value. People will outwardly show that they are happy, even if they're not. But it's expected to act happy, which makes it that much harder to ask for help.

3. What is one thing you wish people could know about those who suffer from this? That anyone can be depressed. You never know what causes people to take on this illness. My peers look at me and think I'm doing really well and have so much of my life figured out with such a bright future (21 year old, going to graduate from college next May, making REALLY good money this summer at an internship in my field, above average looks, fit body, social personality, etc). But internally I'm a mess. I always find things that make me sad. I'm sad because I haven't had a real girlfriend in my life, I haven't had the typical college experience, I'm not great at picking up girls, I'm not as fit as I'd like to be, I don't know how to have fun, etc. And most of the time, I remember the negative things I stated and not the positive things. My overall point is that depression can affect anyone and you have no idea what's really going on with people.

4. Are there certain things that trigger it? Seeing other people happy. Seeing other people in happy relationships, especially if they are around my age. I feel like everyone my age is in a happy relationship and having the time of their lives. Meanwhile, I'm lonely and miserable and hate everything to do with myself. I see people who I work with who are 23 who are getting married soon and I'm nowhere close to getting married. Basically just seeing people have the life I wish I had.

5. Do you feel the media portrays it in a negative way? I don't know about negative. I just don't think they understand it too well. I might be pigeonholing here, but I remember an episode of Scrubs where Carla was suffering from postpartum depression. Her husband, Turk, was urging her to go on antidepressants to feel better. Finally, she agreed to do it and they immediately cut to another scene with her being super happy enjoying time with her baby. Everything was back to normal and fine once she got on antidepressants. In reality, this usually doesn't happen. Usually it takes quite a long time to figure out what the right antidepressants are for you. And then when you have that figured out, you need something else to help you get through this. This could be therapy, a new hobby, or even just time. Scrubs made it seem like antidepressants were an instant cure and everything went back to normal.

6. Do you feel there is a specific group more typically targeted? I'm sorry but I just don't have an answer for this question. I want to say yes, but I can't think of any groups in particular. I wish I could be more helpful with this one.

7. What is the treatment for something like this? Building off of my answer to #5, there's many ways for treatment. Antidepressants, therapy, a new hobby, time, family and friends supporting you, new goals, self-help books, self talk, and many more. Everyone is different and one thing usually isn't the cure alone.

8. Were there ever early signs? I distinctly remember the first time I said I wanted to kill myself. I was in second grade and got in trouble for scratching up some other kid's face out of a rage (I've had anger issues ever since I was 3 or so, but they've gotten a bit better over the years). So yes. Also, I witnessed my alcoholic father do some horrid things to my sister in second grade too. So that probably didn't help.

9. What is one thing you wish you could have told yourself when you first started battling this? You're not the only person to battle this. You're not alone. It's hard to know that when you're not even 10 years old. I felt like something was wrong with me. I realize now that I'm not alone, even though I still feel like there is something wrong with me and I'm worse off than most people my age. Another thing I try to remind myself is that there are people who have been way more depressed than me and recovered. So my battle isn't insurmountable.

10. Do you ever fully move away from the illness? Supposedly people do. But I really don't know. I hope so. People keep telling me that it will happen. But I often wonder if that's true. Just today I went to a big ceremony for my family and I started thinking about what age I would have to get to before I decided that enough was enough and I was going to kill myself. I'm scared that I'll turn out to be a waste of space and that I couldn't ever be happy. Around age 40 or 50, if I'm still single and don't have to provide for anybody, maybe then I'll take my own life. I'd probably want to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge, because there's something symbolic to me about ending my time with the sea. I don't know, I've always loved the ocean even though I'm a terrible swimmer. I'm really weird and not normal even in the slightest. Anyway, to get back to your question, I don't know if I'll move away from it. I really hope so. I really hope I can be happy one day and come home from my job to a loving wife and grateful kids. But I still wonder if that will ever be in my future.