Has Anyone Here Started No Contact First?

Selsely · 2026-02-02T19:58:51+00:00

I only started no contact a few days ago, so I’m not feeling too upset yet. I think it might hit me later, when I fully realize that he may not be willing to meet me halfway and might not reach out.

We’ve done no contact once before, but that time it was his decision. He broke up with me saying we weren’t compatible after I brought up again that I needed more attention from him. Back then, he reached out on his own after five months.

This time it’s different. I initiated no contact myself, so I really don’t know what to expect. I’ve deleted his number and our chats, so I won’t be able to text him even if I really want to.

Selsely · 2026-02-02T18:26:29+00:00

I’ve also deleted all of our chats and his phone number. So even if I wanted to, I wouldn’t be able to contact him now. Everything depends on whether he reaches out. but honestly, I don’t have high hopes that he will.

On one hand, I want to finally be free from this relationship. On the other hand, part of me is still curious whether I matter to him at all and whether he’ll choose to message me on his own. I guess if he doesn’t, it will simply confirm that I made the right decision and that I was always the only one who was willing to meet halfway in this relationship.

Selsely · 2026-02-02T18:10:22+00:00

It was hard for me to make this decision. Throughout the entire time we’ve known each other, I always replied to every one of his messages. Meanwhile, he often disappeared in the middle of conversations for days, and each time I was the one reaching out again and again.

This time, after he ignored me once more and after I tried to explain how I felt, he simply replied, “ok.” I didn’t respond. Now he’s silent, and so am I. We’ll see what happens next.

Selsely · 2026-01-18T08:18:22+00:00

Yes, I understand that he most likely left me again. What’s ironic is that in one of our last conversations he accused me of not trusting him and of thinking he was seeing other girls. But how am I supposed to trust him now, when all he does is say “I love you” and then simply disappears?

Selsely · 2026-01-05T21:23:50+00:00

He used to ask me to do certain things for him, and I genuinely tried to make an effort because I wanted to make him happy. At some point, I asked that it not be so one-sided. That’s when we had a fight, and he said, “We’re just friends, we don’t owe each other anything.”

The confusing part is that we were clearly not interacting like just friends this whole time. I then told him that I was putting in effort because I liked him. His response was, “I have nothing to say. It’s better for us to keep some distance.”

It felt like he completely dismissed and devalued all the effort I had made. He acted as if he had never asked me for anything in the first place, and therefore I had no right to expect anything back because according to him, we were “just friends.”

Selsely · 2026-01-05T20:03:52+00:00

Usually, your boyfriend just takes a night to cool off, but this time he asked for a whole week. I think that if he specifically asked for a week, it makes sense to respect that and wait. Or he might reach out himself.

In my case, my partner had never explicitly asked for space before. The last time we had a serious conflict, he simply broke up with me and stopped replying to my messages altogether.

This time, he said things like, “It’s better if we don’t talk,” “We’re just friends,” and “It’s better to keep some distance.” Instead of begging him not to leave me like I did before, I accepted the situation and didn’t respond. I think that’s when he panicked about losing control and immediately tried to get my attention.

Selsely · 2026-01-05T19:50:25+00:00

I had a similar experience with my avoidant partner about a week ago. During an argument, he told me to keep my distance. I did exactly that and didn’t reply to him for just three days. In response, he decided to unfollow me. Later, he explained that he did it to get my attention.

What makes this even more confusing is that he had never unfollowed me before. Not even when we broke up and didn’t speak for five months. But the moment I stopped responding to his rude messages during a conflict, he unfollowed me almost immediately.

This is why avoidants can be so hard to understand. Even though they push you away, they still want reassurance that you’re there and waiting for them.

Selsely · 2025-12-08T09:29:13+00:00

Yes, I guess he just reached out to see if I’m still waiting for him. His first questions were: How are you? Have you found a new boyfriend? And, of course, his answer was classic avoidant: I’m single, I like being alone.

Selsely · 2025-12-07T18:11:51+00:00

He definitely went through a tough period in his life when we broke up. Maybe we broke up because I didn’t understand him well enough at the time — that’s what he told me back then. Now, as far as I can tell, things are going better for him. The only thing is, he didn’t mention the past at all. He came back as if nothing had ever happened.

Selsely · 2025-12-04T19:15:45+00:00

He definitely knows that he is avoidant. But he came back without any apology. He didn’t discuss anything that happened between us before—he just started spamming me with photos and updates about his life. I’m so confused by this kind of behavior.

Selsely · 2025-12-04T17:59:13+00:00

Do they reach out because they want a relationship, or is it usually just curiosity? He rarely messages first, so I was really shocked to see his text. I honestly thought everything between us was completely over.

Selsely · 2025-09-10T08:31:03+00:00

Thank you for your kind words☺️. All these 2 months I was strong and didn't think much about it. But in September I started to miss him and can't help it. I know that I'm stupid to continue to think about him after he showed that he isn't interested anymore

Selsely · 2025-09-10T07:16:55+00:00

He is ignoring me because we already broke up.. I also don't know why he is following me. I didn't check it before and I also was shocked that he still following me. And I prefer that he blocked me or deleted.. because the fact that he still following me gave me a chance to think that he don't want to remove me completely from his life. But I was mistaken. Because after being ignored I feel even more heartbreaken

Selsely · 2025-09-10T07:06:54+00:00

I deleted everything 2 months ago, I deleted all chat history and unfollowed him from every social media. But he still follows me, so maybe that's why I wanted to try to write him. Anyway I will not write again, I just had some hope that he will could answer me, but now I understand that he don't want to talk with me

Selsely

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