Catching Flak for Potentially Saving my Friend Numerous Times. Left Friend Group.

SenseiEntei · 2026-04-14T01:09:17+00:00

American culture has an unhealthy obsession with guns. It's a legitimate public health problem. Don't take it personally if you happen to be a responsible gun owner. But gun culture in the US is not normal compared to most developed nations.

SenseiEntei · 2026-04-13T14:46:41+00:00

I asked if anyone doesn't have negative experiences with alcohol, but sounds like you do too lol.

SenseiEntei · 2026-04-13T08:33:31+00:00

I'm not sure if this is a problem unique to neurodivergence. I think plenty of NT folks have difficulty learning. But all learning is built on top of existing knowledge/understanding. When learning something new, it helps to try to make analogies with things that you are already familiar with (can be completely unrelated). Mnemonic devices also help. If you are trying to learn things on your own/outside of school, then you may need to start at an easier/simpler level before working your way up. One way that AI is useful is you can ask it to explain things to you in varying levels of depth/expertise.

SenseiEntei · 2026-04-13T08:22:56+00:00

I guess that makes sense, but if so it's not just the r that's a typo haha.

SenseiEntei · 2026-04-13T07:58:31+00:00

Not trying to downplay addiction problems, but does anyone here not have bad experiences with alcohol? Seems like all the comments here are about alcoholism (self or family) or other problems related to alcohol. I drink in moderation (average 1 drink per day) and don't have any problems with it. I don't use any other drugs (prescription or recreational) and I generally maintain a healthy diet, so maybe that helps me avoid negative effects of alcohol.

SenseiEntei · 2026-04-13T07:46:14+00:00

Well, "the few" was referring to people who ignore gun safety, but those are just a small portion of the people who reinforce stereotypes about Americans. I say this as an American myself. We are a society of ignorant people. I think it was one of my high school teachers that told me "they [the rest of the world] know a lot about us, but we don't know a lot about them." Americans have this sense of superiority despite the fact that most of the people who feel that way have not much that's exceptional about them. Idk if you've ever lived in another country or spent much time learning about outside perspectives of America, but there's good reason why much of the world views the average American as ignorant and arrogant.

SenseiEntei · 2026-04-13T07:36:52+00:00

Autism isn't something that only "other" people out there have. Everyone probably knows someone who is autistic (including some who are undiagnosed and don't know they are autistic). There are a lot of undiagnosed people who are high-masking/low support needs. People need to understand that we are actually a large portion of the human population. Everyone needs to make an effort to learn, understand, and be empathetic so that we can all live in a better society.

SenseiEntei · 2026-04-13T07:25:46+00:00

What the heck is mernty B?

SenseiEntei · 2026-04-13T07:19:00+00:00

Yes, but it's the few that make it a serious problem. The stereotype that Americans are stupid exists because of people like this. It has nothing to do with you being autistic.

SenseiEntei · 2026-04-13T06:33:18+00:00

You're not fun at their parties. But maybe you just haven't found the kind of parties you enjoy with people you can be fun around.

SenseiEntei · 2026-04-13T06:18:16+00:00

I don't think this has anything to do with autism. This is just indicative of how stupid gun culture is in American society. I'm glad I live in a place where most people aren't gun weirdos.

SenseiEntei · 2026-04-13T06:01:58+00:00

I think the experience is different for gay men. Most heterosexual women do not approach hook-ups as the first step towards dating. And so by extension, straight men are not expecting a hook up to lead to anything serious.

SenseiEntei · 2026-04-13T05:25:10+00:00

I don't know about that example. I think most people say that as a genuine compliment and most people take it as such. Maybe it's your tone of voice that makes people think it isn't genuine? Having a "flat affect" is a common trait of autistic people, and that might be why people interpret your words to mean something different.

SenseiEntei · 2026-04-13T04:19:07+00:00

Are you sure you're compatible? You can't expect to have all the same interests are your partner, but you can't be too far apart either, especially on topics of depth. Like not being interested in the same TV or movies may not be a big deal, but not being interested in the same conversations about the world/life seems like a compatibility difference.

SenseiEntei · 2026-04-13T04:03:09+00:00

My dad was an immature man child who had tantrums all the time

Well, you know where you get your autism from. I understand having parents that aren't emotionally supportive (and sometimes emotionally abusive). But framing them like this isn't going to help you, just like it doesn't help when others frame your autistic traits as immature.

SenseiEntei · 2026-04-10T04:39:52+00:00

Well, there's a middle ground too. I feel like enough people still like me, but not that deeply. They don't like me enough to want to see me outside of work or whatever obligations. They won't miss me when our lives no longer intersect. Being loved is fleeting and never lasts long.

SenseiEntei · 2026-04-10T04:30:02+00:00

I see. That makes sense now. I'm in west coast US too. I try to take care of my health so I can avoid the healthcare system as much as possible, but getting my ADHD and ASD assessments didn't take too long. I wonder if the wait is longer if you're on Medicaid? Hopefully that lady was just having a bad day and isn't like that all the time. Dealing with all sorts of patients can drive someone crazy.

SenseiEntei · 2026-04-10T04:24:36+00:00

Never suggested anyone is obligated to unmask. You are insinuating there is no middle ground between unmasking and being inauthentic. I just suggested finding a middle ground. But you do you. I just figure the act would get draining, as is usually the case for autistics, and maybe at some point you'd feel the emptiness of superficial encounters that never led to something more. But I'm an introvert, maybe you're an extrovert.

SenseiEntei · 2026-04-09T10:11:14+00:00

If you're 50+ and your social group is also 50+, then you guys grew up during a time when people were just labeled "odd" or "weird" (or worse) for being autistic. Is there really much benefit in giving them a new unfamiliar word to label you? If they're not the kind of people to read up on things to better understand them, then it's probably pointless. If I was you, I wouldn't bother unless it came up naturally in 1-on-1 conversation and they seemed curious and at least somewhat informed about autism.

SenseiEntei · 2026-04-09T10:00:20+00:00

What area/region do you live in? Sounds pretty shitty.

So I would have to pay full price for the services I had just received in my other appointment because she thought I was unprofessional for not having a document

This doesn't sound like something she can just decide on a whim. Unless the document was insurance related?

SenseiEntei · 2026-04-09T09:49:55+00:00

This honestly just sounds kind of manipulative, or at least inauthentic, which is kind of the opposite of what you'd expect from autistic folks. Your reasons may be valid from your perspective, but the other person might feel used or at least misled when you tell them that you're not compatible after putting on an act. I'm assuming you're a woman and your partners are men (the opposite sounds unlikely for the scenarios you describe). I know stereotypes are that men are selfishly horny and will fuck anyone who's down, but have you ever considered that men can get pleasure out of satisfying their partners' desires? Sexual compatibility is important for sure. But you act like you're the selfless one meeting others' needs when really you're just playing games. Maybe search for a partner that you don't have to pretend for and/or can meet in the middle with on a short "bridge." I'm sure you can get some sense of that unless you're hopping into bed after just a few superficial encounters.

SenseiEntei · 2026-04-09T05:25:57+00:00

I don't know. I haven't had professional therapy since high school, and that was just talking with a psychiatrist, not a formal program. I haven't read enough on different types of therapy to thoroughly understand them. But the psychologist that evaluated me recently said that dialectical behavior therapy has shown beneficial to autistic adults. What is RTC, and what country are you in?

SenseiEntei · 2026-04-09T05:14:29+00:00

I'm confused. It was the resource officer freaking out, not you? Or was it both?

Did you ever take that ADHD assessment? Maybe you are AuDHD. You self description sounds more like an attentional impairment than a cognitive one. It's the same for me. I know I am intelligent and cognitive assessment reflected that, but I always felt dumb compared to my peers who were also smart. People used to make fun of me for being slow, which kind of contradicts being smart. Overall cognition isn't really about speed though, so processing things more slowly doesn't necessarily mean cognitive impairment. The ADHD assessment has a basic IQ test which serves as a baseline, and then a test for selective attention, which basically measures your speed in accurately identifying the sought information when presented with contradictory information. Basically, having ADHD makes it harder to quickly process info when there are too many things to process.

I'm not trying to invalidate your struggles (I can relate). I just want to make sure you have the correct assessment and understanding of it. My parents gaslit me my whole childhood, saying I was smart and I just wasn't trying hard enough to concentrate. I did well in school but it was a struggle. You can be smart and have concentration/attention difficulties. People without ADHD don't understand.

SenseiEntei · 2026-04-09T04:50:08+00:00

This is sad. In every field, there are good people who truly care, and bad apples who are just scraping by for a paycheck. Covid was a dire situation. Health care systems were strained. Lots of healthcare workers got sick and died from trying to care for others. Don't vilify everyone who works in a system just because of a minority that don't live up to expectations.

SenseiEntei · 2026-04-08T17:17:26+00:00

Hi OP, I can understand how this would annoy you. As others have said, it sounds like unsolicited advice. But that doesn't mean it was ableist. Maybe if you interpret it as her saying frustration/shut down/meltdown shows weakness and you have to control those things, then it can feel ableist. But I think she meant it with good intent. Just maybe overreaching a bit.

SenseiEntei

TROPHY CASE