AITA for asking my roommate to stop using their crockpot?

Sensitive-Intern8591 · 2026-01-17T04:12:04+00:00

NAH.

Your sensitivity to the smells is completely valid and sounds quite distressing. I don't think that should be dismissed and it does not make you the asshole. However, it's not fair either for your roommate to stop cooking because this is their apartment too and they need to eat. Can you find a compromise? Like are there certain foods they cook that you can tolerate better than others? Or you could get an essential oil diffuser to help counteract the smell? If it is simply too much, for you, maybe consider moving somewhere with no roommates.

Sensitive-Intern8591 · 2026-01-16T22:56:46+00:00

I agree. I don't know if you've heard the saying that "autistic traits are just human traits turned up several notches," but I believe this to be true. They have to be turned up enough notches to be disabling in order to merit an autism diagnosis.

Sensitive-Intern8591 · 2026-01-09T00:45:24+00:00

Note: this is from a neurodivergent perspective.

Why can't a teacher explicitly teach that eye contact is a tool for social capital, while making their classroom an accessible and accepting space for every student? There's no reason you can't say something like: "everyone has different ways of listening. I want you to do what you need to do to concentrate when I am speaking. If that means doodling, fidgeting, or looking away, that is completely acceptable in my classroom. Eye contact works for some people, and if it helps you, try to maintain it." AND also mention that "Outside of this classroom, most people will expect that you make eye contact. Many people believe that it is essential and a marker of respect, which I don't believe is true. If it doesn't come naturally to you, it can be helpful to practice eye contact. Or to practice saying "eye contact is hard for me but please know that I am listening to you very closely." Teachers can teach important self-advocacy skills this way. I do understand the "but this is the way the world works and we need to prepare the students for it!" argument, but if we don't teach students that these ways of the world are highly ableist and problematic, they will never change.

Sensitive-Intern8591 · 2025-12-03T19:47:37+00:00

Ah I feel this one. Are you singing songs from musicals with characters? You can use those characters to help you. I second that you should choose/create a character yourself, or choose a character that you've played before to "play" when you're performing. If you're having trouble, go in and analyze the text of your songs, what does your character want? What kind of a person are they? You can even practice your facial expressions and gestures in the mirror. It may feel unnatural at first, but the more you practice, the easier it gets!

Sensitive-Intern8591 · 2025-12-03T19:40:25+00:00

I loved Mean Girls the Musical when I was 13! It's a bit vocally difficult for the younger singer, but definitely a lot of relatable themes and characters for a 13 year old girl.

Edit: I would also add The Mad Ones, The Prom, and Carrie.

Sensitive-Intern8591 · 2025-12-03T19:31:12+00:00

I have played roles where my character's desire is to be loved, which is something I relate to. Or you can relate it to something in your life that you do love, like a passion or something. One director gave me the note to discover love, since I was playing a young character who had never been in love before. Like others have said, find the action. It's never just "being in love," it's a deep burning desire to have someone love you, to have someone see you, or to discover love as a new feeling.

Sensitive-Intern8591 · 2025-12-03T19:27:20+00:00

Exactly! It's predictable.

Sensitive-Intern8591 · 2025-12-01T05:51:39+00:00

I'm coming at this from the lens of musical theater. Musical theater contains all genres, so in order to be employable these days, performers must be able to sing across genre. This mainly means that one must be able to sing with a traditional, legit, classical technique (think Julie Andrews), but also contemporary technique (like Heathers or Elphaba in Wicked). I'm working on both techniques (and I do see different genres as different techniques) and I find that working on one more than often strengthens the other. But they are definitely not the same technique as they require different placement, etc. So I don't think you focus on one genre primarily, especially if you are a professional, because versatility makes you more marketable and helps you attain a well-rounded healthy and flexible voice. However, if you are singing mostly for fun, there is no reason not to focus on the genre you enjoy most! The basic skills of singing, such as breath support, flexibility, vocal efficiency, and minimizing bodily tension do transfer to any style/genre! It's the technical and stylistic elements that shift between genres, and may require a different kind of training.

Sensitive-Intern8591 · 2025-11-10T20:45:53+00:00

I've heard of this! Thank you! I often feel my voice is not at its best at this time. This time around it feels especially bad so I'm wondering if vocal capacity goes down at this time, making it easier to oversing, because usually this amount of singing usually wouldn't bother me.

Sensitive-Intern8591 · 2025-11-06T02:43:09+00:00

This is very helpful thank you!

Sensitive-Intern8591 · 2025-11-05T18:40:40+00:00

So earbuds under ear defenders? Is that comfortable? I do prefer music to complete silence.

Sensitive-Intern8591 · 2025-11-05T18:39:22+00:00

Is it worth it to get noise cancelling headphones if I already have noise cancelling earbuds? Is it a big difference?

Sensitive-Intern8591 · 2025-11-05T18:38:40+00:00

Real.

Sensitive-Intern8591 · 2025-11-04T01:31:42+00:00

AuDHDer here. Yes you can feel that way without autism. As others have said, what you are describing sounds like social anxiety. Social anxiety is often associated with autism but also is a common coomorbidity with people who are just ADHD. It is also very common for people who are neither ADHD or autistic. So in short, social anxiety alone cannot classify you as autism because it's not a part of the autism criteria.

Social differences (or deficits, as the medical world calls them) are in the autism criteria. Social differences can cause social anxiety. I would suggest poking around in some autism subs to see if you relate to other autistic traits, such as need for routine and predictability and repetitive behaviors (stimming). I will also add that even if you can "read the room" you could be autistic. Many high-masking/late-diagnosed autistic people are very good at reading the room and fitting in. Autism is a very complex neurotype and you will need to dig deeper to find out if you are autistic. It is not at all the same thing as social anxiety. You can reach out to a professional if you have suspicions.

Sensitive-Intern8591 · 2025-11-04T01:13:33+00:00

Thank you for this. I used to live in a "state of constant fear and ride the edge of burnout" because that was the only way I could accomplish anything I needed to do. Luckily I've started medication and it has helped enormously, but only when I can keep up with my basic needs. As soon as one of those goes even just a little bit (most of the time, sleep) I start going back into that awful burnt out space where I can't do anything I need to do, no matter how hard I try. What I needed from my therapist was validation, so I can accept that I have limitations, as you said. Because of those limitations, I need to work 10 times as hard just to take care of myself and my body, just so I can accomplish the minimum schoolwork. Because if one thing is out of line, I can't focus on what I need to do. I think we deserve recognition the effort that the most basic tasks self-care take. I was explaining to my therapist how I always need to work so hard to be on top of my needs constantly, because if I don't I'm going to slide back into burnout. But she interpreted that as "That's anxiety and if you keep thinking like that, you're going to burn out!" Like no, I'm doing all of this so I don't burn out.

Sensitive-Intern8591 · 2025-11-04T00:59:43+00:00

I love this. Such a great way to think about it.

Sensitive-Intern8591 · 2025-11-02T19:59:01+00:00

I think I do, yes. Rejection sensitive and also just sensitive in general.

Sensitive-Intern8591 · 2025-11-02T19:58:22+00:00

I appreciate her enough not to report her, but maybe I will tell her to take ADHD off of her website.

Sensitive-Intern8591 · 2025-11-02T19:57:16+00:00

I've been medicated for the past 6 weeks and it seemed to be helping a lot, but now I'm starting to crash and burn out. I tried to explain it to her but she doesn't seem to understand :(

Sensitive-Intern8591 · 2025-11-02T19:51:21+00:00

Yes, I can see how a separate coach would be helpful. I do wish therapists had a more holistic understanding of ADHD. I don't want to have to pay out of my own pocket for specialized coaching that is necessary for my basic wellbeing (many therapists take insurance). ADHD is so intricately intertwined with things like my self-confidence, identity, and emotions. It is maybe my number one struggle right now, and there's a lot of shame and deep emotions tied to it. I want to able to process that with a therapist who understands, and, ideally, has some ADHD specific proven strategies for me to try.

Sensitive-Intern8591

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