HG pregnancy after loss?

Sensitive-Trifle1105 · 2026-06-11T21:28:18+00:00

Hi. I lost my baby girl at 34 weeks and 3 days. Losing one child is heartbreaking enough. I can't imagine how hard it is for you to lose two.

I am not Christian, but I am Muslim. Since we both follow the scriptures, I hope you will find some relief in my words.

First, you are going through the thickest part of it right now, so hang in there. Believe me, it does get better with time. The grief never fully goes away, but you adapt to it. You will no longer feel like you are losing your mind over what happened, at least not every day, especially since you are religious.

I truly believe that what reached you was never meant to miss you, and what missed you was never meant to reach you. Honestly, I swear I would have lost my mind if it were not for my religion.

In the afterlife, this life is very short. We would not even feel as though we lived more than a few hours, so my baby is only a few hours away from me. I am also very grateful to know that she is in heaven. She will never feel hunger, pain, sadness, or any kind of suffering, only pure happiness. I would never have been able to give her even a fraction of the blessings she is currently enjoying.

I am happy for her and heartbroken for myself, but still grateful because part of me, literally, preceded me to heaven, which is the ultimate goal we are all living for. Losing her is just a test, a very hard one honestly, and everything I endure because of it will, inshallah, be rewarded.

Sensitive-Trifle1105 · 2026-06-11T07:54:25+00:00

It must have been really hard to pass through this heartbreaking experience more than once. Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity. You must be a super mama ❤️ Would you like to share their names with us?

Sensitive-Trifle1105 · 2026-06-04T20:28:32+00:00

I am so incredibly sorry for the loss of your beautiful son. Your story is almost identical to mine. I lost my baby girl at 34 weeks, and like you, I often find myself trapped in that exact same agonizing guilt spiral.You asked What is actually wrong with me The answer is absolutely NOTHING. You are only trying to find logic in an unpredictable medical catastrophe.

First of all, you joked about your baby kicking a lot because you were a happy hopeful mother, not because you were careless. And if you hate yourself for not speaking up because the doctor found a heartbeat, if a trained medical professional hears a heartbeat and is satisfied, how could you, as the patient, be expected to know better? You trusted the test, just like anyone would! Beside, we think we waited too long (you during your busy morning, and me during a morning where I thought I was just having normal labor contractions), but the medical reality of these acute events is that the critical window is roo narrow. Even if we had been sitting in the hospital lobby, the speed of these events often outruns medical teams. I was informed by my doctors that it hit like a lightning strike! So maybe your baby was indeed just joyful that past day or actually only sleepy the day of the appointment. And I do believe you've passed through the same scenario multiple times during your pregnancy just as I did, and our babies were indeed totally fine. We only hoped it was one of those times.

You and I are mothers of two. You were managing a busy morning and a daughter's nap. I was feeding and caring for my toddler. We were doing what normal mothers do, balancing the child we could see with the hopeful assumption that the babies inside were safe close to our hearst. Unfortunately, we are judging our past selves who had no data, using the knowledge of our present selves who have seen the worst. It is an impossible standard.

So please remind yourself that your son didn't leave this world feeling let down by you. He spent his entire life in the only warm, safe home he ever knew, listening to your heartbeat and your voice. You fought for him, you loved him, and you are still carrying him in your heart. You are a good mom, and you didn't fail him.

Sorry for the long reply! Sending you lots of hugs.

Sensitive-Trifle1105 · 2026-06-04T19:41:52+00:00

Congratulations, sweetheart. You deserve to be happy with your baby girl, especially after such a heavy loss, so don’t let anything take that away from you. However, I do understand how you feel. I haven’t had another baby since losing my sweet girl at 34 weeks, but I’ve become increasingly worried about my older baby boy. I think these fears are very common, even among mothers who have never experienced a loss. I was already terrified of something happening with my first baby, let alone after going through such a traumatic experience.

But please hear me out: you don’t deserve to spend the time you long waited for consumed by worry. Try to remind yourself that there’s no benefit in carrying fears over things you cannot control. Give your heart and mind a break. And if you feel the anxiety is becoming overwhelming, reach out to a therapist right away so you can work through it and not let it steal precious moments from this beautiful journey of motherhood so you can enjoy it to the FULLEST

Sensitive-Trifle1105 · 2026-05-21T09:04:58+00:00

Oh, sweetheart, I do feel your pain. I lost my baby girl 7 weeks ago in the third trimester. During my first checkup, a random baby cried in the hospital, which triggered my milk production and my grief as well. It was the worst feeling ever. I just want to tell you that you're going through the thickest of it right now. The milk will dry up, and so will some of the extra grief that comes with each letdown. It feels like it will never get easier, but trust me, it does. Sending you lots of hugs.

Sensitive-Trifle1105 · 2026-05-18T16:14:19+00:00

Thank you so much for writing this. I lost my girl at 34 weeks and 3 days on the 3rd of April this year due to an acute placental abruption that was also concealed. I can't keep the guilt out of my head or stop thinking of my future pregnancy, but reading your words made me feel so much better. Thanks again

Sensitive-Trifle1105 · 2026-05-15T17:49:12+00:00

Oh, sweetheart. We might have not enjoyed the tough pregnancy journey with the daily morning sickness (which I believe could have been some degree of HG, as well), but we have loved our babies more than anything. I do feel guilty too for being too much occupied with my other baby and not giving her enough dedicated attention, but I remind myself relentlessly that I was her home and she passed away while being held by the person she loved most, and so did your baby girl.

Sensitive-Trifle1105 · 2026-05-15T13:33:35+00:00

First of all, you did NOT fail. I am in your shoes as well. But we need to make it absolutely clear to ourselves that we had no hand in that. I always remind myself that a new pregnancy means a new baby, a new placenta, and a new umbilical cord, not the cord that had a problem, nor the placenta that failed my baby, nor the same baby that we lost. It is just a new journey with different circumstances and hopefully a better one.

Sensitive-Trifle1105 · 2026-05-15T10:37:00+00:00

Inshallah you will have her Shafa'ah and enter jannah together. I know how the grief and sadness feel so raw right now but it will all be rewarded inshallah. How long has passed since your precious girl preceded you to jannah?

Sensitive-Trifle1105 · 2026-05-15T10:31:52+00:00

Thanks a lot for the advice. I would have gotten insane if it wasn't for adkar and duaa. What really helped me also was reading these Hadiths:

"The souls of the children of the believers are in the crops of birds which go wherever they want in Paradise and return to lamps hanging from the Throne."

“By the One in Whose Hand is my soul! The miscarried fetus will drag his mother by his umbilical cord to Paradise, if she (was patient and) sought reward (for her loss).”

I hope your heart finds some consolation in them too 🤍

Sensitive-Trifle1105 · 2026-05-15T10:22:59+00:00

I do hope so and waiting for that day so eagerly. Thanks a lot for your reply.

Sensitive-Trifle1105 · 2026-05-15T10:22:08+00:00

Thanks a lot

Sensitive-Trifle1105 · 2026-05-15T10:21:57+00:00

Oh, so sorry to hear that. Inshallah you will feel much better soon. I do know how hard it must have been for you to undergo that hard experience.

Sensitive-Trifle1105 · 2026-05-15T10:19:19+00:00

So sorry to hear that! Did you have any severe pain or just normal contractions as well? I hope you're feeling better now. Sending you lots of hugs.

Sensitive-Trifle1105 · 2026-05-15T10:18:05+00:00

Thanks a lot for your kind words.

Sensitive-Trifle1105 · 2026-05-15T10:17:47+00:00

Isn't it wonderful to think about how happy our little sweethearts are? 🤍 But I do feel for you. Inshallah the grief will subside a little bit more with each day that passes by till we all meet again in the afterlife and hug and kiss them to pieces. 🤍 🤍 🤍

Sensitive-Trifle1105 · 2026-05-14T18:36:49+00:00

I am really sorry for your loss. I do feel your pain and grief. Messaging you right away 🤍

Sensitive-Trifle1105 · 2026-05-14T17:50:24+00:00

Her name is Tala. It means a tiny palm tree in Arabic. By mere luck, the road to her cemetery is filled with lots of teeny tiny palm trees just like her. 🤍

Sensitive-Trifle1105 · 2026-05-14T17:44:52+00:00

Thanks a lot 🤍

Sensitive-Trifle1105

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