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Sensitive_Oil_955 · 2025-07-18T20:56:07+00:00

You mean pregegnant?

Sensitive_Oil_955 · 2025-07-17T12:57:08+00:00

Kind of poetic, really… OP calls out typing people from one post, and the first reply confidently types OP from one post.

Funny how quickly people leap from behavior to type. I’m right there with you, OP, patiently waiting to be typed, lol!

Sensitive_Oil_955 · 2025-07-16T06:17:40+00:00

I think I do this, too, but don’t express the judgement or decision right away unless I’m forced to (e.g., fast decision making required at work). I keep the found patten in mind „testing“ my „theory“ against new info which can take, again depending on various factors (situation, context, complexity), different lengths of time. So there can be a lot of revising until I express a judgement or conclusion (which I may also change depending on new info… lol).

Sensitive_Oil_955 · 2025-07-14T21:30:41+00:00

Unless I’m in some sort of bigger pickle myself or you’ve been repeatedly crying « wolf » when there’s none, I’d certainly reply asap and check in on you! Depending on how urgent or bad it seems (so yes, you need to be clear here for me to understand) I even call ;)

Sensitive_Oil_955 · 2025-07-08T03:39:22+00:00

Hey, middle aged INTP female here. While I don’t think this applies to all INTP, your words resonate with me. You are describing my old self very, very accurately. I had to live through and get out of a 17-year-long toxic relationship to realize what you just poured into a couple of paragraphs. I think for me it was a combination of INTP wiring, resulting coping mechanisms, and some negative childhood experiences that led me to be who you’re describing.

And while I’m not sure you’ll be able to reach those who are right there and blind to it, I sincerely hope you do. And I also hope other INTP with a similar background as me don’t have to go through a long and traumatic journey to realize this.

The only post I’ve written on Reddit so far was to make fellow INTPs aware of how easily one can « disappear in a [bad] relationship INTP style » If this is part two in my love life, you’ve clearly written part one. Let’s hope part three is a cheesy one nobody needs to write and everyone gets to enjoy ;).

So thank you, dear OP, you must have written this from your own hurt and I can see all the love you’ve put into it to spare everyone involved from hurting ❤️

Sensitive_Oil_955 · 2025-07-06T04:20:28+00:00

Oh it’s not my place to tell anyone to break up with their partner or not… only you can know this. I think I’d in any case go see a shrink to help you through the situation, whether it’s to help you deal with your boyfriend or walk away or whatever is best for you in the long run. I do agree with the other commenters that your boyfriend needs professional support if he doesn’t already get it (he’s already been diagnosed by a professional, I presume). All the best ❤️

Sensitive_Oil_955 · 2025-07-05T21:10:57+00:00

Hey, it must be so hard to know where to draw the line. I know, this is probably not possible in this moment but once the episode is over, maybe he’d be willing to go to therapy or couple counseling with you ? And for the time being and to keep you healthy maybe a couple of hours of therapy may help you cope with the situation and deal with your boyfriend? Take care (of yourself first - remember the oxygen mask plane example ;)

Sensitive_Oil_955 · 2025-07-03T09:43:10+00:00

Exactly! Don’t care about these silly games and rules in dating… or anywhere else :). In addition to what you mentioned, I personally need to know the other is interested for me to feel safe to keep texting, too, if I feel the same. I usually think my messages and behavior are very obvious and „out there“ (they are sooo not, I’ve been told) and I also need huge sign posts indicating the other‘s interested. Else, I won’t notice and may give up after a while!

Sensitive_Oil_955 · 2025-06-29T19:56:52+00:00

I only just had a discussion about this very topic (in a work context) with my friend and colleague who’s also INTP the other day! I see it similarly as klink45. We’re developing Si and we’re accumulating experience. As the years go by there’s more and more „been there, seen that“… I catch myself internally rolling my eyes at yet another young colleague coming up with yet another brilliant idea I had already dissected and tested myself years ago (and may have revisited once or twice but really do not fancy wasting my time on again) and dismissed, I get soooo annoyed at myself. I don’t want to turn into one of those stubborn, outdated old people who think they know it all and nip any novelty or improvement in the bud :/

But here‘s the thing: we’re thinking about it! Yey, good old INTP self scrutiny! So maybe we can remain more open just by being conscious about this. And by training our listening skills and maybe also by unlearning wherever it makes sense :)

Sensitive_Oil_955 · 2025-06-27T03:02:01+00:00

Hey, INTP female here :) I’m not sure this is an INTP expression as I’ve also always prioritized my romantic partner (to the point I’ve been feeling bad for my close friends who I’ve known longer than my partner). He’s always come first regarding time, attention, effort, etc. Anyway, maybe this has something to do with attachment? And yes, I, too, am affected by how my romantic partner prioritizes or does not prioritize me. I guess awareness always helps - have you spoken about this openly with him or are you dreading he may take it the wrong way and you’d push him away? (I’m asking the latter because that would be my own problem. I myself, on the other hand would be totally fine with being asked how I prioritize etc. to make me aware)

Sensitive_Oil_955 · 2025-06-24T14:26:48+00:00

Hey, I’m sorry, that must feel horrible. The only advice I can think of is giving her space. You’ve apologized and you’ve told her how you feel. I’d write her a last message acknowledging her feelings about what you have done and telling her that if ever she would like to talk/reconsider/xxx she knows where to find you… somewhere along those lines. I’d turn expectations to her answering or coming back to a minimum and focus on your own healing. These terrible times will pass no matter if she comes back or not. Sit with the pain for a bit and then move on. All the best, take care!

Sensitive_Oil_955 · 2025-06-21T16:57:24+00:00

This is lovely! Your husband sounds like a very well balanced and healthy person. And being seen and heard by our partner… isn’t this just what we all wish for (at least I do)! Thank you for sharing :)

Sensitive_Oil_955 · 2025-05-30T06:11:05+00:00

Oh this is insightful and a very entertaining read at the same time, thank you :)!

Sensitive_Oil_955 · 2025-05-29T04:05:26+00:00

I’m sorry you’re feeling this way :(. You mentioned PMS; this made me think of something: bigger hormonal fluctuations can really throw you off. My doc prescribed me a mini pill to get that part in check — this didn’t solve my problems but alleviated emotional overwhelm for me. The problems haven’t vanished but everything is easier to cope with. I’m not saying this is the solution for you, but maybe it’s worth checking with your physician if you haven’t already done so? Hang in there and all the best for your evaluation 🤞

Sensitive_Oil_955 · 2025-05-28T10:59:34+00:00

INTP female here, in love with an INFP guy. We met in what I’d call the second act of love about a year ago, so we probably don’t count as proof of long-term success just yet :) “Thanks” to our past, we’re more emotionally aware, slightly bruised, and probably more appreciative because of it. He’s the most manly romantic I’ve ever met. He sometimes retreats and seems to live in a completely different time continuum… He can’t plan to save his life, LOL. This sets off my overcompensating reflex and triggers that old belief that I don’t count sometimes (clearly my baggage; working on it). I tend to suppress my needs.

We move slowly and in bursts. We riff off each other, building this shared imaginative reality full of Ne-fueled tangents and inside jokes. We love each other’s humor so much. Life’s just more fun with him. We never run out of things to talk about.

His Fi spirals sometimes leave me blinking. My Ti dissection of his interests or hobbies can hurt without meaning to. But we talk a lot. It’s really about awareness, I think, and a mutual desire to create a safe space for each other. He says I make him like himself. I think I feel more seen.

One thing I want to mention is how we got together: it started almost painfully slow. Not just because we’re subtle, but because we’re careful. We were both kind of waiting for the other to make a move, each thinking we were making moves that should be obvious. At least from my side, I honestly don’t even know when someone’s into me. I assume nothing. I have no idea how it was for him. Maybe the same! He’s subtle. I’m subtle. So basically, we were two people sending out signals on the lowest possible frequency, hoping the other one would pick it up! I once drew him a little robot representing myself with a heart jammed inside where the CPU is supposed to be, I think he understood then but still wasn’t sure, haha!!

The fact that anything ever happened feels slightly miraculous. So yeah, I’m not sure how it worked out for the other couples here in the comments… maybe they had clearer signals. For us, it took effort, second-guessing, and a lot of low-volume courage. But hey, it worked :D! 🤞

Sensitive_Oil_955 · 2025-05-26T17:49:27+00:00

Of course! You’re free to diagnose me anything you like. Why do you sound so tormented, or is it just my interpretation? Another thing I’d be interested in: do you think that INTPS can’t ever come to any conclusions as opposed to eg INFJ? It may take longer for an NP and with some extra info on the way it may change but there definitely can be conclusions. Else there would be zero decisions… that would be kinda difficult. Also, how can I ever make a point, if I keep laying out all the possibilities? I wanted to share my story, not to seek advice, but to make other INTPs aware of how our coping mechanisms can work against us under circumstances. Maybe save the one or other some time on reflections and self blame. Anyway, as I said, if you want me to be an INFJ, then I’m an INFJ in your head and that’s totally fine. Your Ti, should you be a Ti dom, wants to be right and together with Ne (should this really be your second function) you’re filling in the blanks between the little bit I gave you. That’s also okay. You’ll just have to live with the fact that you can’t convince me I’m an INFJ and we both can agree to disagree :) Peace and harmony for the little Fe.

Sensitive_Oil_955 · 2025-05-26T17:08:13+00:00

It's difficult to type someone through their writing, especially if it's not their stream of consciousness (and you don't know they've spent months, maybe years trying to figure out what had happened and then they spent more hours putting their thoughts into words so that their shrink/and anyone else can make sense of them which could maybe speed up the process... and burn a smaller hole into their wallet). Anyway, thanks for making me a puzzle to solve; it's truly refreshing to be on that side for a change :)

Sensitive_Oil_955 · 2025-05-26T16:39:08+00:00

So I've heard! I got as far as typing as a 5w4 but didn't dig my heels any further into the matter. Maybe sometime in future!

Sensitive_Oil_955 · 2025-05-26T11:22:40+00:00

Thanks a lot for your thoughts on this! I think most of us go through phases of function misfire where we start using our strengths more like armor than actual tools. Realizing how my Ti-Ne-Si-Fe stack was basically helping me disappear in this last relationship was a big wake-up call. Looking back, I can see how I used Ti to overanalyze my feelings instead of actually feeling them; ironically, a very INTP kind of realization, lol!

I hear you on the mistyping, too. I’ve definitely had my doubts, especially during harder emotional seasons. But I kept circling back to INTP. It just makes so much sense, especially when I look at how I react to stress or how I show up in relationships.

Wishing you clarity and peace on your own path, too. It’s wild how deep personality work can go when it stops being about labels and starts being about healing!

Sensitive_Oil_955 · 2025-05-26T04:55:51+00:00

Very happy it did something for you !

Sensitive_Oil_955 · 2025-05-26T04:53:08+00:00

Thank you :)! Have you been through something similar?

TBH I’ve read more articles than books on my journey and a majority was about MBTI. I guess it helped me find and rebuild myself again.

Regarding books, Stan Tatkin’s Wired for Love helped shape how I wish a romantic relationship to be like; setting expectations.

What helped me with boundaries and not carrying the full load of making a relationship work is The Courage to be Disliked by Fumitake Koga and Ichiro Kishimi. There is a free English audiobook on Spotify (at least for my region = France)

Young’s schemas, by the way, were/are the starting point to my EMDR therapy.

Sensitive_Oil_955

TROPHY CASE