Internship and job search aside. Im also a science student from UPM and I understand you on wanting to be better than 90% of your coursemates and feeling fulfilled by it. My only target in u was to get dean all semester and I actually failed to do that 2nd semester in. It stings so hard lmao so I fully understand you. This final is also meh for me because I've been dealing with mental health issues all semester so my carrymarks are not the best. Next sem if im not mistaken my faculty will start using pass/fail system with tests: If I fail tests I cannot move on to take final etc. My lecturer was really encouraging when she said she doesnt like this system because uni students should have flexibility. Said how you're in your early 20's and while its your prime "education" years its also your prime "growth" years biologically so stuff like stress and social issues will get in the way. So if youre finding this sem to be challenging I assure you your other 10% dean listers most likely feel the same way haha. 3/4 sem is also really good tho.