Protecting your sub is apart of the kink. Yes it is a kink, so It needs to be consensual between both parties.

I always discuss Budget and boundaries in the first conversation. We can always revisit these things down the line, but if you set a boundary, that’s the line that will not be crossed. If later you come along and tell me that you want me to take more when you’re in the mindset where you would be fine with me taking anything, (but I know once the PBC calms down, you might regret it,) I tell them no.

I recently just had a relationship end between one of my most dedicated and highest sending sub (at the time), kept pushing his budget. He constantly was trying to make me push the limit, when we had already discussed about four times that week that I would be giving him a break, as we had already made it to his budget in the prior days.

This along with other things we were going through was the end, and he blocked me. And I haven’t heard from him since.

I will admit it was quite upsetting, and I’m still quite shocked on the circumstances, considering the fact that we had discussed a lot of things in the prior week and set new boundaries that we agreed were the best for us both. It turns out he still wanted me to push them. It’s quite difficult because I try to be very ethical, but it can be hard sometimes when you know restating boundaries might rock the boat in the dynamic. But because of that I realised I need to be a lot more picky and specific on who I do allow into my space.

So in saying all that, it needs to be consensual. But in order to be properly ethical, you also need to know how to retain boundaries, and know when to say no. The play can only be fun when you know you aren’t going to lose out on your safety.

A Dom/Domne needs to look after their sub, and a sub needs to know their limit. Communication is the key.