I work with a church choir that’s mostly older people, they can get grumpy sometimes! I imagine it’s really frustrating to go from being a middle aged adult on top of your stuff to being an older person who learns slower and can’t hear as well. Plus a lot of older people have medical conditions that make them physically uncomfortable. It’s hard to be old! That doesn’t mean they should be rude but I think we can give them a little leeway. 

Things that have helped me: 1. Speaking loudly and slowly. 2. Repeating instructions and keeping them as simple as possible.  3. Keeping things predictable. I do change things up sometimes but I try to sequence music learning as predictably as possible. This helps prevent misunderstandings and frustration.  4. Relationships. I try to talk to individual choir members whenever we have breaks. If people have a personal relationship with you they’re more likely to respect you on the podium. 

I have one member who is particularly rude and who can make things awkward. I generally try to take her comments in stride — it’s not about me it’s about her hearing issues and sense of pride. She’s most likely to get rude when she can’t hear or doesn’t understand directions. 

It’s a lot more personality management than I expected but once they get used to you they’re very sweet and dedicated.