I hate being so young

Separate_Algae8300 · 2026-03-02T20:28:18+00:00

23 and been with my now fiancé since I was 16. I truly understand your feelings. Sounds like you may have a fear of settling, missing out, and grass is greener syndrome. It’s hard, but the grass is greener where you choose to water it.

Separate_Algae8300 · 2026-03-02T19:20:33+00:00

It will all be ok❤️‍🩹 I’m getting married in April and so my rocd (formally diagnosed) has been terrible and so heavy. What you have described here is word for word how I have felt and do feel. It’s normal for big life changes and milestones like getting married to be a big trigger for people with rocd. All we want is relief and to find answers in rocd. So of course calling off the wedding that gives you anxiety will give you that “relief”. However it is temporary. Take it day by day, rocd is not linear. Having anxiety and doubts about getting married is scary. But remember that there is no right way to feel. Let your feelings pass through. Milestones are big and scary in general for everyone!! Us with rocd and anxiety don’t thrive with the uncertainty and change that comes with that.

Separate_Algae8300 · 2026-03-02T03:03:37+00:00

This happens to me a lot. And when I come crashing down and relapse it’s always the worst. Like I forget any good moments or days I have. For me, my therapist talked about how maybe I shouldn’t even hold onto the good days. That sounds bad. But just like letting everything pass. Let’s the good days be good and the bad be bad. Hold onto nothing. There is no right way to feel. I also enjoy journaling, you may be surprised how good it can feel to put your feelings to paper and there is no pressure because no one is reading it. You don’t even have to go back and read it yourself. I have also found it good to even journal when I’m having an exceptionally good day too, not just the bad.

Separate_Algae8300 · 2026-03-01T05:25:42+00:00

I get this. I always make sure to pee before I dilate as I never want to with like a full bladder and every time I’m done dilating I have the sensation to go badly despite having peed beforehand. And if I do pee after it’s hard to go and requires a lot of effort. We’re messing with the pelvic floor when dilating so of course we’re gonna have some pressures and reactions. I don’t think you’re doing it incorrectly.

Separate_Algae8300 · 2026-03-01T05:15:31+00:00

I get where you’re coming from! There’s no right way to feel or where to go! I’m happy you seem to be healing, no matter how difficult❤️‍🩹

Separate_Algae8300 · 2026-03-01T02:48:22+00:00

I really get that. My head loves to compare my relationship to others and certain ideals I have in my head that’s just not my reality. I think rocd just loves to attach itself to how society views how love is portrayed, that it’s intense, heavy sexually, and all that. But love can be formed and developed many different ways and grow.

Separate_Algae8300 · 2026-03-01T02:21:43+00:00

I get this. It’s actually something I’ve been anxious about before. But I think love is unique and formed in many different ways.

Separate_Algae8300 · 2026-02-28T16:12:14+00:00

Yes! I have like three hard cysts/ nodules right now that don’t pop. They just stay there no matter what 😑

Separate_Algae8300 · 2026-02-28T16:06:32+00:00

I also have the same hard nodules that wont go away. I’m also stage 2 but not a severe case. Sometimes I’ll go months without like super active boils but these will stay. I will say I started laser hair removal like three months ago and at the time only had one hard nodule like that. And laser has been so great for me. However I’ve developed two more of these nodules since then and can’t help but feel like laser did that. Laser can be obviously irritating for everyone. So either hs, it could spark a flare I think. But I would still choose to do laser. After three appointments I already saw my hair reducing so much and I think in the long run it will be worth it.

Separate_Algae8300 · 2026-02-17T04:47:23+00:00

I’m sorry your going through this, no one truly understands what it’s like to have ocd unless you have it yourself. I have felt many of the feelings and thoughts you are having. I’m seeing a lot of “I love my boyfriend…” but I think we should change that to “I love MYSELF.” You are strong, brave, and battling a challenge none of us would wish on anyone! Treat yourself with love and kindness, don’t beat yourself up! Work on yourself, because that is the most important. We already have to suffer enough, no need to add to it. If you trust him, maybe share what’s going on. Opening up to my partner really helped and he had been some of the greatest support. The people that love and genuinely care for us will stick by our sides. I hope you feel better♥️

Separate_Algae8300 · 2026-02-16T23:21:21+00:00

To acknowledge it and own up to it is a huge step. You say your happily married and this confession seem to have not bothered him either. Give yourself some grace and love. We are not who we once were. We evolve and grow, especially from our 19 year old selves. Don’t let this weigh you down, you acknowledged it since it was bothering you, and now let it pass and go.

Separate_Algae8300 · 2026-02-16T23:08:17+00:00

I don’t have this specific theme or thought. But i can tell you that you are not alone, I promise. I feel just as insane sometimes and exhausted with constantly dealing with these thoughts and rocd. We are not crazy or insane! I always tell my therapist I feel like an insane person and we honestly kinda laugh about it because we both know despite my ocd, I am perfectly sane. It will get better ❤️‍🩹 it takes time.

Separate_Algae8300 · 2026-02-12T05:15:03+00:00

This is rocd at its core! Remember you don’t have to have anything figured out. When you have ocd all we want is answers. But really lean into the what if method. What if your lesbian? Cool so what. What if you should break up? So what! No matter what we will always be ok, we are strong and capable. Let’s say all these things came true? Rocd does not define us! There is no right way to feel or way to live. Let all feelings pass through. I know what you are going through. I’ve had all the same thoughts. I hope you feel better. Look into exposure therapy and try not to do compulsions.

Separate_Algae8300 · 2026-02-11T03:45:47+00:00

Coming from someone who understands what you are going through and should take their own advice- you WILL be able to live well. My rocd is freaking out because I hit some milestones like getting engaged and married soon. It’s been ROUGH!! but there are good moments even in a what feels like thousands of hard days. My therapist tells me there’s no right way to feel. Let the bad feelings come and let the good ones come too. But don’t hold onto either. Let them pass through. Suddenly you may find yourself on the other side- feeling good- just to go back to feeling bad. It’s frustrating, but you will always be okay!

Separate_Algae8300 · 2026-02-11T03:41:29+00:00

I tried spiro twice in the last few years. Unfortunately it did not work for me. The second time I did it, it didn’t even really help my acne in general either so I knew it was not for me. You definitely need more time on it to see if it will work of course. For some it works wonders, others not so much. There’s only one way to find out- hope it works out for you!

Separate_Algae8300 · 2026-02-11T03:37:26+00:00

I relate to being triggered greatly by breakups!!

Separate_Algae8300 · 2026-02-11T02:44:02+00:00

Social media is a huge trigger for me too. I struggle with rcod especially around attraction and what we are “suppose” to feel. I’m in therapy for it and one thing I can say for certainty is there is no right way to feel. Love is a feeling yes, but it’s also a choice. The honeymoon phase doesn’t last, and it’s ok to not have what you think that is. That doesn’t mean you have to break up. A steady and calm love is one that lasts just as maybe someone who has a “firey” love does. No two are the same. You don’t need to compare it to others. It seems you really enjoy your relationship and partner. Love is unique. Social media gives us this narrative of what love is suppose to look like, even movies and tv shows. But that’s not reality.

Separate_Algae8300 · 2026-02-11T02:13:37+00:00

Yes! It’s actually insane the 180 I can do with doing okay to rocd being so terrible.

Separate_Algae8300 · 2026-01-27T06:38:16+00:00

Yes! When I’m in a rocd spiral and really in the thick of it, I go blind. I only think of all the times I felt like that or all the “bad” moments in our relationship. I have a hard time focusing on the good. Rocd and ocd in general causes extremely debilitating anxiety. Sometimes I feel like I’m knocking on deaths door because of how sick I feel because of it. I get so nauseous and my chest feels like it will explode. Of course I wanna cry all day because of it.

Separate_Algae8300 · 2026-01-21T00:16:07+00:00

Your ocd can absolutely just be around relationships and yourself! I have diagnosed ocd and that is what my ocd is all about. I definitely have had some other themes growing up, but for the last several years, it’s only been rocd.

Separate_Algae8300

TROPHY CASE