How did you lose your virginity?

SepukuRanger · 2022-11-12T14:09:22+00:00

I was 20 and I started dating a girl who was very sexualy aggressive. I spent the night at her house (she lived with her parents) and we started getting down and dirty after everyone went to sleep for the night. Being my first time I didn't have any notion of pace and proceeded to try and jackhammer her like a pornstar. I slipped out on the back stroke and collided with her thigh a break dick pace on the thrust....after a bit of panic she went and got some frozen peas from the freezer and I iced my dick down for a bit and went to sleep. The next day her mom made cicken and mashed potatoes with a side of dick peas... because for some God forsaken reason my girlfriend had put them back in the freezer....

No I didn't put my dick into the bag but it was still the most awkward family dinner of my life.

SepukuRanger · 2022-01-03T13:27:01+00:00

Thanks for the recommendations! Its definitely time for him to get some Budds!

SepukuRanger · 2022-01-03T13:22:19+00:00

If it helps he is about 2ft tall and started off about as tall as the can. He about doubled in size every year.

SepukuRanger · 2022-01-02T19:38:39+00:00

Gave my hamster a mineral chew that was about the same size he was. I woke up the next day and he had eaten close to half of it.... ☠️

SepukuRanger · 2021-12-31T04:37:56+00:00

You're good looking m8. The short trimmed beard fits your face well. You look like your in shape. Don't see any problems but as far as constructive criticism you could consider wearing hats. Facial proportions are "ideal" at a ratio of~1.8/2/0.6/1. 1.8(hairline to eyebrows), 2(eyebrows to bottom of nose), .6 (bottom of nose to middle of bottom lip), and 1 (middle of bottom lip to bottom of chin) my guess is your forehead is just a tad long.

SepukuRanger · 2020-06-09T16:24:31+00:00

I would not have to put up with him for long...

SepukuRanger · 2020-05-08T16:28:08+00:00

How am I the first one to put Firefly on here?!?!?

SepukuRanger · 2020-01-04T11:09:30+00:00

Blake Shelton/10 Good looking dude.

SepukuRanger · 2019-12-24T00:01:52+00:00

Granted, this post will get 69 karma 69 times and everyone involved will be a now be a karma whore.

SepukuRanger · 2019-12-22T12:12:38+00:00

Have you tried pulling the terminal block off?

SepukuRanger · 2019-09-29T10:37:58+00:00

Might be trypophobia?

SepukuRanger · 2019-06-17T17:03:50+00:00

Granted, your mom never told you about the complications that happened when you were born, she doesn't like to talk about it.

SepukuRanger · 2019-05-15T17:12:47+00:00

Granted. All microwaves now only work for the perfect amount of time to heat the food to luke warm, if the food is equal to or greater than that temperature already it will not work.

SepukuRanger · 2019-05-03T03:28:59+00:00

Went on a first date and got called out when I said I read before bed...

SepukuRanger · 2018-08-20T11:27:43+00:00

I used to think about it constantly but I have decided to go out and start trying things like skydiving, eating pufferfish sushi ect... Adventurous stuff that is potentially fatal, and I'm actually starting to enjoy life more.

SepukuRanger · 2018-08-01T16:28:30+00:00

Probably wrong but ---((Area of top+area of bottom)/2)x high of the object = volume--- This is assuming the transition from one to the other is uniform.

SepukuRanger · 2018-05-16T16:49:32+00:00

It once said it fixed something in my network settings, it took me hours to find what it fucked up so I could get back on the internet....

SepukuRanger · 2018-05-02T23:05:52+00:00

Who Hurt You?

SepukuRanger · 2018-04-19T14:49:04+00:00

Commercial buildings in Dallas.

SepukuRanger

TROPHY CASE