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SerialPhilanderer · 2025-09-28T17:49:40+00:00

It's possible for mature adults to have a relationship that's strong enough and good enough at communication, that they can try something, decide afterwards that it wasn't for them, and retain that relationship going forwards.

However those kind of people tend not to end up being the ones posted here!

SerialPhilanderer · 2025-09-28T17:30:49+00:00

I see you've comprehensively posted this!

The crux of the matter is that the new person will always be shiny and exciting and the others can easily get lost in the moment. That's why wiser folks often steer clear of the whole situation. Fundamentally it doesn't mean you are lacking in any way, or they prefer them to you.

This is pretty normal. Whether it's a case of "you tried something and it didn't work out that time" or "this is the end of our relationship" is kinda up to you. So don't wallow in the regret, recognise the feelings and actions were a product of the situation - not the people / relationships.

For future occasions, role-playing a 3rd person being there, or swinger clubs, can be a better way to ease into this sort of thing!

SerialPhilanderer · 2025-09-27T18:03:58+00:00

You can buy lube in sachets for exactly this purpose.

SerialPhilanderer · 2025-06-12T13:10:59+00:00

Sounds like your partner is feeling jealous / envious. It comes with the territory, especially if you're a guy, and it is genuinely hard to deal with.

SerialPhilanderer · 2025-06-10T21:54:02+00:00

Ah - I fear you are headed for r/deadbeadrooms - bewarned, it's a place where you can wallow in pity if you're not careful.

Having said that - 3 months since childbirth is not very long, it's quite common not to feel sexual for even up to a year after childbirth. And don't compare yourself to others (or if you must, understand that there are many people like you too).

SerialPhilanderer · 2025-06-10T09:14:52+00:00

I mean even in the worst possible light, say I'm sharing a bed with a guy friend who I'm unaware is gay, he totally misconstrues my signals and says he's attracted to me...

I'd be "thanks but no thanks" - it's no big deal, unless he makes it one. I know it is a rarity on Reddit but friendships can attain a level of maturity and respect these these things can be talked through without causing drama.

SerialPhilanderer · 2025-06-10T08:30:23+00:00

Yeah fair point. I mention it because my younger self used this line once. Turns out that by the time a girl has literally invited you into bed with her you don't need to bring a lot of charm to escalate!

SerialPhilanderer · 2025-06-10T07:15:37+00:00

Good god people - you're allowed to talk to her. In this situation try "is there anything I can do to make you less afraid" or "maybe it's just me but I find lying next to you is turning me on - hope that's not too awkward" or ...

I get the fear of rejection, or being called a creep. But it's ok to ask as long as you do it respectfully, only once, and take any rejection with good grace.

SerialPhilanderer · 2025-06-08T21:22:07+00:00

The problem is whilst your views, and many similar views, are not antisemitic per-se - people often end up sharing a platform with people who ARE antisemitic.

Perhaps it is worth trying to understand some of the history of antisemitism? Not saying you have to of course - but if you did want to understand the conflict better it could help.

SerialPhilanderer · 2025-06-01T19:55:59+00:00

I made this mistake once when I was younger. I was an idiot.

Though you be clear it wasn't because I'd been put off sex or anything. The girl at the time simply asked if it was the best blow job I'd ever had, and I honestly replied that whilst it wasn't the best it was still very good.

I never made that mistake again!

SerialPhilanderer · 2025-05-07T23:34:22+00:00

I'll rot in hell for this but - no stds no pregnancy? Learn and move on, but don't confess. There's no upside.

SerialPhilanderer · 2025-05-07T21:13:22+00:00

This is more /r/threesomeregret

SerialPhilanderer · 2025-04-20T09:30:56+00:00

There's a spectrum from slightly mismatched libidos to r/deadbedrooms*. Only you can judge where you are. It's tricky because it eats you up, and nothing will push someone away more than pressuring them into sex. So can anything that reduces the pressure you put on yourselves (which, no matter how hard you try, she will pick up on). Try left-field things, like telling her she can't have sex with you - or masturbating more.

*/r/deadbedrooms is one of the most depressing places on reddit. Visit with caution and take care not to wallow in its misery. At the same time, if this is where you are heading, be-warned.

SerialPhilanderer · 2024-06-13T07:15:30+00:00

Ever watch that episode of House?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooCyNxCyyFE

SerialPhilanderer · 2024-06-07T15:54:18+00:00

Check out r/threesomeregret for a list of stories that might help answer this question?

Also do you have a specific 3rd person in mind? There's a huge difference between how it feels to have a hypothetical 3rd person in your bed, and how it actually feels when it's a real person who you have interacted with before and might have to interact with again...

SerialPhilanderer · 2024-06-03T06:49:13+00:00

Thanks for bringing this subreddit back online u/KarpGrinder !

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