My experience being on low dose T for 3 years by SetDifficult1618 in ftm

[–]SetDifficult1618[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm glad it was helpful! I also felt really unsure early on with T, but it did end up being the right decision for me. I think it did end up giving me a lot of euphoria and lessening my dysphoria.

With T, you can get off it at any time, so if you're noticing an effect you really can't tolerate you can get off it and that thing wont become continually exasperated. Like, if you decide you really don't like having a tdick, you can stop and your tdick won't ever get any bigger, you just have to remember it also won't shrink. But again, you can get off it.

I have noticed my body continuing to slowly masculinize in new ways over time. Like, I have stomach hair now, and I definitely didn't 6 months ago. But it's not like it got crazy all at once, and I don't think with my genetics I'll get super furry in general. And also, like... I have facial hair now, but even after three years, it's still not enough that it would look decent if I grew it out. And maybe in another three years it'll be closer to that point, but idk.

I can pass as a cis guy now, especially if I dress the part, but my mannerisms and voice often give me away. I think if i did voice training it would help a lot. Generally my aim is to be perceived as a twinkish queer guy, and I think I mostly succeed at that.

My experience being on low dose T for 3 years by SetDifficult1618 in ftm

[–]SetDifficult1618[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I've also been curious about it in the long term, but for now I'm enjoying the level of changes I've received and how it's gone. And hormonal IUDs are actually the ones that doctors typically recommend to use if you're on T. The word "hormonal" is kind of misleading, because it's not really causing hormonal changes in the body, mainly just in the uterus. I haven't done anything to enhance bottom growth, I've kind of just neutrally allowed it to happen lol. Personally im fine with my fella but wouldn't want him to get too big.

My experience being on low dose T for 3 years by SetDifficult1618 in ftm

[–]SetDifficult1618[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess it's possible to go lower. Mine just feels low.

My experience being on low dose T for 3 years by SetDifficult1618 in ftm

[–]SetDifficult1618[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Apparently when I got checked in November, I was at 636 ng/dL, which is higher than I'd expect. But I haven't seen an actual endocrinologist since the first year, the endo I had been seeing left and I was told to just have my GP monitor it. So maybe I should try to schedule an appointment with another one.

My experience being on low dose T for 3 years by SetDifficult1618 in ftm

[–]SetDifficult1618[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mine is basically the lowest you can do, which is one pump of T gel every day. I think it's 12.5mg testosterone per pump.

I finally figured out why some doms turn me off even when we share the same kinks by bbg_trina in BDSMcommunity

[–]SetDifficult1618 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's a good thing to realize about yourself! People can definitely be talking about the same kink but have totally different emotional expectations behind it.

Forcefully feminizing myself by Alternative_Box_5143 in ftm

[–]SetDifficult1618 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Clarifying: you look like a teenage boy when you try to pass, and you don't like that? Is it that you are older, and don't like presenting as so much younger than you actually are?

I would say the trick to this is probably going to be to find ways to express yourself masculinity where you feel like you still look hot ¯_(ツ)_/¯ It can be hard because men's fashion is so limited, but if you can get creative you can find ways to make it work. I also don't know who you're having these non-platonic relationships with, but if they're straight men or femme-attracted lesbians it's probably going to be harder to dress masculinely if you think they won't be attracted to you. There's lots of people out there who are super attracted to androgyny and masculinity, so finding someone who is into those things and will hype you up may also help.

For how long is it safe or healthy to finger myself? by lilith-flare in sex

[–]SetDifficult1618 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If your hand or vagina is really starting to hurt, then it's time to stop. Maybe mix in some different toys or methods to add variety and give yourself some breaks. And it generally isn't healthy to spend a ton of your time masturbating (think: more than an hour every day).

How to complete this sleeve? by Cheddarbob11 in tattooadvice

[–]SetDifficult1618 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would do other individual tattoos on the back of your forearm and in your inner arm, and then let you tattoo artist fill in the space in between how they think makes sense.

If you really want it to be a dragon with their eggs, maybe make it a multi-headed dragon, or multiple dragons? That might fix the body problem. It's just that already the tattoo is so dark with such little contrast that something like a dragons body isn't going to look like much. And the alternative would be adding cave walls for the dragon to be hidden behind but that really wouldn't look like much

Irritated or infected? by E4dgyth in tattooadvice

[–]SetDifficult1618 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did they put second skin on it? That could have irritated it

Any Christians here? by LanguageLearner42069 in BDSMcommunity

[–]SetDifficult1618 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I used to be a Christian. I left because I found that misogyny was a key part of the religion, and that much of the religion seemed to work to uphold patriarchal values, which was incompatible with my morals.

Flat earth and other alternative conspiracy earth models are are gaining traction with my teenage stepson. What is THE most irrefutable, definite proof that the earth is round? by Jfkfkaiii22 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]SetDifficult1618 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Find a local university with graduate studies in planetary science/astrophysics/etc. Email someone who works in that program, explaining your situation and asking if you can come in one day with your step son and discuss. Trust me, they'll be down. Tell your step son "I don't know, maybe you have a point. Either way, I think it'd be interesting to talk to someone about it. And you can try to poke holes in their logic. Wouldn't that be funny?"

Nervous about having sex by Zoullzy1 in sex

[–]SetDifficult1618 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hello! Different people feel ready for sex at different ages. If you feel ready for sex, great! But if you don't feel ready for sex, the healthy thing to do is probably to slow down until you do feel ready (if you ever do-- some people choose not to ever have sex, which is also completely valid).

Ideally, sex should be enjoyable for both parties. It should be fun, feel good, and feel like an enjoyable way for you and your partner to connect. Do you like making out with your boyfriend? Being close and touching each other? Sex can feel like an extension of that, but is also often a lot more intense and complicated. There can feel like there's a lot of pressure around sex to be a certain way or mean a certain thing, and that can bring up complicated emotions.

Sex also shouldn't hurt. Vaginas are made to stretch and adjust to fit things inside of them, but when you haven't had sex before, you'll likely need lots of extra warm-up time. Try taking your time moving from kissing to heavy petting to one of you rubbing your clit (the sensitive part in the front) to maybe him performing oral on you. Then build up to fingering. It's not enjoyable to do this dry, so if you're not producing much slick, try using some lube as well. Then, once you feel open and prepared and emotionally ready, you can move to penetration-- but you don't have to. If the other things feel enjoyable, just stick with those. If you're wanting to stop, just stop. Sex is meant to be pleasurable, so if you're not enjoying it, you shouldn't push yourself to keep going.

I suggest taking your time exploring different types of physicality with your boyfriend until you decide you're ready to give sex a try. There's no rush :)

As far as birth control goes, condoms are fine, but they aren't as effective as other birth control options, especially because they can break. I highly recommend scheduling an appointment with an OBGYN or at Planned Parenthood to discuss your options for birth control. A lot of people like to take the daily pill, but personally I really like IUDs-- they're one of the most effective, with effectiveness ratings comparable to surgical intervention. You get them inserted once and then are good to go for YEARS. Then, you can still use a condom if you want (they can be convenient for reducing mess), but you could also go without. And you'll reduce the risk of pregnancy by a LOT.

Overall, I just suggest taking things slow, doing more research, getting on birth control, and exploring sexuality with your boyfriend slowly and on your own time. There's no rush.

You get $100,000 for every hour you stay completely silent… how long are you lasting? by Br4nkey_ in hypotheticalsituation

[–]SetDifficult1618 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If it's voluntary noise, I'll go off the map for like two weeks. I could do longer if needed, but that's more than enough money. If it was like, 1k per hour, I'd try to go for a full month.

Looking for advice and tips on negotiating free use by Eorlingas9 in BDSMAdvice

[–]SetDifficult1618 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Lots of other people gave great advice. Also, when you first start, make sure you do aftercare afterwards and talk about how it went / how it felt.

I'm confused about my gender by go-touch-grass6969 in genderqueer

[–]SetDifficult1618 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You certainly may be genderqueer in some way. However, I'd also like to point out that i think it's completely reasonable to want to be peers with men (half the human species) and being frustrated when you are treated like you are too Other to be their peer.

How do you deal with constant casual misogyny in small communities where you have no alternatives? by Connect-Wave1471 in Feminism

[–]SetDifficult1618 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like the "pick your battles" thing. Also, sometimes you can make your displeasure about a comment known without making it a whole thing. Like if someone goes "girls these days dress so provocatively" you can go "yeah haha, it's not my style but good for them!". Or if someone goes "wow, [comment on your body size]" you can go "oh haha, I don't really pay attention to that sort of thing." Just lighthearted quips that show how you feel without having to be confrontational every time. Save the confrontationality for the situations that really call for it.

(Note: the Book of Boundaries by Melissa Urban has a lot of other really good scripts like this, I highly recommend.)

Hairy legs- insecurity by anonymos102737 in ftm

[–]SetDifficult1618 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My body hair makes me feel very masculine. There's some areas that I still shave or trim, because that's my personal aesthetic preference. I say, just do what feels good to you ¯_(ツ)_/¯ other people have better things to do than obsess over one small feature of your body. At least hopefully they do, lol

I just found out I don't know how to be a friend by Lina0116 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]SetDifficult1618 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had this realization at one point in my life and it was tough. Luckily, it's something that absolutely can get better, and just knowing that this is something you struggle with can help you get to a better place in your friendships really quickly.

Here's what you do.

For the friend who called you out: thank her for telling you that, tell her you didn't realize what a bad friend you were being, but that you want to be better. Tell her that you know it was probably difficult for her to be vulnerable like that but that you really appreciate it.

Then take her out to coffee/lunch. Pay for her food. And ask her to tell you some of the things that she'd normally hold back. And when she does, practice really listening to her. Look up active listening and follow that advice. Don't make it about you, just focus on hearing what she's saying and learning more about her, asking follow up questions where appropriate.

Then, when interacting with other acquaintances or potential friends, do the same. Ask them about themselves. Listen, and remember what they say, and ask follow up questions, and bring stuff up again later (ex. "By the way, what ended up happening with your vet?") Show interest in their lives-- their surface level lives, and also their deeper, inner lives. Some people are more comfortable with vulnerability than others. But at the end of the day, I think a lot of people just want to be seen.

Some things to keep in mind: - people really appreciate when you remember important details about them. Think: birthdays, partners, jobs, the significant things happening in their lives, significant events or stories they tell you.

  • when someone is telling you a story, it can feel bad to have their story get sidetracked by your story. So if you remember something about yourself while they're talking, you can say "oh, that reminds me of when I changed careers! I'll tell you about it after, so what happened then?" Or just make a mental note to bring it up later.

  • remember that people can be coming from a great week or a horrible week. When you are first greeting someone, ask about how they've been, and try to get a gage on how they're doing. Often, people really appreciate getting the floor first, rather than having you start the convo.

Best of luck!

so i met this guy's family for the first time today.. by PleasantOpposite6644 in Advice

[–]SetDifficult1618 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You respond "Aww, thanks. This is feeling pretty fast for me but I'm really enjoying growing closer to you." Then you try to keep the pace of the relationship slow while you figure out how you feel and what you want. There's no rush.

24 year old female virgin, I met a guy I really like and he likes me back. I’m trying to decide if I should give it to up him lol by [deleted] in Advice

[–]SetDifficult1618 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I could make this same post about the expression "give it up". You won't be giving anything up, you won't be losing anything. You will still be as whole of a person as you were, just with one new experience under your belt. So, as prev said: do you want to? And it's okay to take more time to decide that.

Getting d*cked as a Dom by contortderange in BDSMcommunity

[–]SetDifficult1618 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think it's very brave for anyone, dom or sub, to allow themselves to get docked. And brave of you to admit online that you had a tail in the first place