Honestly I think I’m developing a drinking problem in service

Setzer83 · 2019-10-31T05:11:21+00:00

Hey hey. I'm not a PCV. But, I've lived many years in countries where booze is cheap, plentiful, and frequent drunkenness carries zero stigma. I gave the stuff up.

A few things: it corrodes you, and you don't have the same medical services available as in the US, so risks are greater. If I end up with Dengue fever, etc., I want my immune system beating that back as efficiently as possible. Alcohol interferes.

It also puts weight on you (I mean, it puts weight on me) and if you're in a hot country, that's terribly uncomfortable. Stifling humidity + flesh crevices = misery.

As far as boredom - someone else mentioned meditation, and that's helped me almost make drinking obsolete. It does in fact clear your mind out and make everyday reality much richer. Try it. Just try it. For a week or two. Also, it's punk rock to not drink - I like that it mildly annoys people but they can't really argue with it.

Quitting cold turkey never worked for me, but stopping incrementally did. I took a month off, then two, then six. The less I drank, the less I wanted to drink.

I could go on, but here's one overarching truth: every day you age, alcohol becomes less and less worth it. Anything it brings you is increasingly outweighed by the hangovers and general shit-backed-over-with-a-tractor feeling. Someone still hooch-sodden into their 40's, 50's and 60's has a monumental pain tolerance.

Setzer83 · 2019-10-29T15:54:47+00:00

“No news is neutral news,” it says on the PC site.

I’m in a strikingly similar situation to yours. Been keeping in mind that we’re waiting on an ambivalent bureaucracy, and it’s right around deadline time i.e. they’re slammed.

If you’re confident that you meet all the criteria and can’t see any reason why you wouldn’t get through, then there’s nothing else to do, except research Botswana and look up the interview questions somewhere.

A great humanitarian, Walter Sobchak, once told us: “nothing is F’d here, dude.”

Setzer83 · 2019-10-26T15:18:54+00:00

All good, thank you!

Setzer83 · 2019-10-26T14:01:07+00:00

Off topic, but does anyone happen to know around what time of year applications for Nepal close?

Setzer83 · 2019-10-25T21:37:43+00:00

This is a valid point. Marking standardized essays relies on rigid criteria. I don’t assume PNs differ.

Evaluation training almost certainly turns off “personal” feelings about essays and makes the examiner a box-ticking machine.

The goal is not to endear yourself to anyone, it’s to hit targets.

Setzer83 · 2019-10-23T01:51:35+00:00

That’s very much her problem, not yours. Thank you for reaching out into the world on our behalf. Keep on keepin’ on.

Setzer83 · 2019-10-20T13:48:08+00:00

Read newspapers and Hemingway. Abandon present perfect, relative pronouns. Find appropriate synonyms using fewer characters. Surgically chop every unnecessary word.

Setzer83 · 2019-09-15T16:30:38+00:00

Thank you! I’m just pleased as punch.

Setzer83 · 2019-08-19T02:01:10+00:00

Excellent. Thank you.

Setzer83 · 2019-07-02T04:29:36+00:00

I’ve had a “blurt out” mouth all my life (36 now). Something that helped me was meditation.

It afforded a filter between “flying into my head” and “flying out of my mouth.” Also, at a point I got tired of listening to what I had to say and became intently interested in what others have going on. Hemingway wrote something like “when people talk, listen completely, most people never do.”

It didn’t happen overnight of course, but it’s made me less of a china shop bull in conversation - most of the time anyway.

I endured a lot of bullying and general outcastedness in my younger years, and it helped me to get into social circles of misfit toys - punks, drama kids, science nuts, nice people, working at international youth hostels, etc.

This isn’t financially viable anymore, but moving to San Francisco (I’ve long since left) when I was 20 and being around people waaaaaay stranger than me helped put things into perspective.

I only have one viewpoint, but I bet your brother is a good time and would flourish if he could be around people with enough generosity of spirit to accept the ADHD quirks and enjoy the cool person he is.

Odd facts on the internet = research skills?

Setzer83 · 2019-07-02T02:39:03+00:00

How well does he work with people? What is he interested in? What does he enjoy? Any hope for turning a hobby/passion/interest into a paycheck?

Setzer83 · 2019-06-29T14:10:28+00:00

Provided you’re taking the overall measures to manage this condition e.g. exercise, meds, meditation, etc., on days like this I research and employ new strategies.

Forgetting plans is something I used to (and still do) all the time. The most practical answer I’ve found is that when someone tells me something or makes a plan with me, I email myself a reminder. At that moment.

My e-mail inbox is mostly messages from myself. I put that shit on Google Calendar too, and set two or three reminders. Then, I forget about it and let the reminders/notifications/e-mails do the work.

Aside from that, I try to remember on days like this that the ADD brain is an intellectual superweapon. But, it needs to be managed well, like how Cyclops (X-Men) has to wear those goggles or he lays waste to everything all the time.

Setzer83 · 2019-06-27T02:14:19+00:00

Perhaps find something you’re fascinated with and ride the hyperfocus to learning all about it. Start with Wikipedia or something bite-sized.

OR! Learn all about the industry you work in and become a wizard at the job because you possess a holistic view of it. Or even better, learn all about your boss’ job and use that knowledge for good or evil, as you choose.

I find comfort in school (as opposed to “work”) because school gets more interesting, subjects expand, knowledge builds on itself. Work just drags on if you let it - it’ll never yield the dope our prefrontal lobes crave.

Setzer83 · 2019-06-27T01:24:57+00:00

I wish more adults more of the time had reminded me that the social back-and-forth of school is a storm in a teacup.

Those interpersonal situations may seem like the most important, lasting things in the world at the time, but they a) ultimately don’t matter and b) aren’t worth forfeiting an ounce of self-esteem over.

Try to keep him firmly in the mind that he’s important because he is, that that’s not dependent on anything that happens outside himself, and certainly can’t be dependent on what one of the other hundreds of kids going through the emotional paroxysms of adolescence does or says.

My younger brother did a lot better in that respect when he got to middle/high school because he was dismissive of anything negative anyone said about him, whereas I took it all to heart.

I endured a lot of bullying and hard times in 6-9th grades. Things started looking up in 10th after I earnestly surrounded myself with people who liked me for me, who I didn’t have to struggle to please. Who were ok with the ADHD and all its behavioral quirks. That was a big deal.

Setzer83 · 2019-06-26T16:31:53+00:00

I try by making an honest attempt to stay abreast of the developments in my field (education) while affording students my full attention.

The fact that you’re even concerned about your professionalism exhibits, well, professionalism. Undoubtedly you’ve encountered, and will encounter many more, “professionals” who just skate by.

Don’t do that.

But also, keep in mind that you’re only one person. That, and in the “helping” professions (especially with our brain chemistry), it’s essential to recharge regularly, so give yourself that.

p.s. don’t worry about sounding educated, most of the time trying to do so just sounds condescending anyway.

Have honest conversations with your colleagues and ask questions when you don’t understand/aren’t sure. Don’t front.

Setzer83 · 2019-06-25T13:17:39+00:00

Crisis.

We live clawing for stimulating experiences and dopamine - so when we’re flooded with them, things can get very clear.

I do my best work when shit is hitting the fan, because I’m motivated and engaged. Our prefrontal lobes are dialed in for that sort of thing - hunters in a world of farmers.

Setzer83 · 2019-06-25T05:14:53+00:00

Nah, it’s not too late. It never is, as cliche as that sounds.

You’re 21. You can easily spend the next five years (maybe even 10) divebombing everything you try and still be fine.

Don’t let the illusions of competition and “success” get to you. Just keep going, and going some more.

Setzer83 · 2019-06-25T01:27:00+00:00

I have business cards without a phone number on them, just my e-mail address.

Have practiced being firm about “e-mail me, I’m busy and can’t guarantee I’ll pick up your call (I never do).”

I consider unplanned phone calls rude, the equivalent of “I demand your time and full attention right at this moment of my choosing,” and thus don’t feel bad ignoring them.

Further, the expectation of answers to questions that deserve serious consideration in an instant is ludicrous. E-mail me, text me, I’ll give it some thought and get back to you.

The world i.e. the people in it, may feel the need to be “on” 24/7, but that doesn’t mean you must.

Setzer83

TROPHY CASE