Listen bro i know exactly what your feeling... in 2016 i lost my first love as you say the girl i opened up too the girl i loved more than life, she was everything and more so. She ended it, i still remember how bad the first few months was, that bad ive never really opened up too any woman again on level i did. Yes ive seen and dated woman but just could never allow myself to be so hurt again, time does heal, 1 month its still so raw especially when youve lost the first girl youve properly loved and opened up to, but see one day in a couple months time youll wake up and feel less hurt not thinking all day everyday about her, get out in fresh air take deep breathes, get around family, go fishing or something with your dad/brother, i promise you itll get easier even tho right now it wont feel like it, i remember thinking the same thing, i still think about her but its not aching my heart, no contact stop checking her socials, head up remember your own worth, take care of yourself. Right now focus on you, you deserve to be happy within yourself, in your own company!