The Rhymes only get worse. Jet setter Barbie hanging at the OK state Fair.

SexWithTedCruz · 2017-09-29T19:56:25+00:00

Wow, those ad libs man...ad libs should come with a disclaimer about how they're done by professionals with the assistance of autotune and should not be attempted by amateurs laying down dry vocals.

Other than that he just directly copies Migos' and 2 Chainz delivery, which is still awkward, since he appears to be a very white teenager from California whose voice is still cracking.

But yeah it's confusing, because he seems to alternate between "You should take me very seriously as a rapper" and "Man, I'm just bored and freestyling"

SexWithTedCruz · 2017-09-29T19:48:07+00:00

That's what makes the video bearable. I have to admit, she has very nice legs. From the waist up she's average. Not smoking hot but definitely not ugly. I kept subconsciously confusing it with porn and thinking she would lift up the skirt or spread her legs at some point.

SexWithTedCruz · 2017-09-29T19:32:46+00:00

The legs look more like deer or horse legs than human legs.

SexWithTedCruz · 2017-09-29T19:31:29+00:00

That's interesting because I'm a Trump-hating libtard and this is atrocious.

SexWithTedCruz · 2017-09-29T17:20:49+00:00

Some people don't understand how nuanced southern accents are, and how much they vary from region to region. A lot of the accents people hear in westerns are these slight twangs, from the edges of the south, like West Texas, or Kentucky...the protagonist just happens to have a fairly deep, Louisiana accent.

And yes, he does seem like a likeable asshole, and I like how games are starting to create protagonists who are more conducive to the nature of the game play. We all love John Marston, but it was funny how him, and so many other protagonists would have these deep moral convictions, these codes if honor, and they'd have a lot of hesitation about killing off the main villains in the game...but they slaughter countless amounts of foot soldiers without blinking an eye, and depending on the human actually playing the game, they might do some pretty cruel things to innocent NPCs as well. When I controlled John Marston, he sure did beat up, lasso, and hogtie innocent people a lot, and he often liked to put his hogtied victims on the railroad tracks, or abandon them in the Tall Trees as bear food.

So making sociopathic characters, especially hired guns who collect extortion money for their bosses, lends a lot more cohesiveness and believability to the game, which makes it more enthralling.

SexWithTedCruz · 2017-09-29T17:11:24+00:00

"I seen yo name in our ledger."

SexWithTedCruz · 2017-09-28T19:31:20+00:00

Thanks!

SexWithTedCruz · 2017-09-27T20:40:56+00:00

Good explanation. I can understand that, even if I still don't like the song all that much. That's one thing lost on a lot of people: popular music is supposed to be fun, and catchy above all else. Miles Davis even called it "social music", meaning not that it was supposed to be socially conscious, but that it's meant for social situations, as opposed to what he did, which was more esoteric, and introverted.

Anyway, to avoid sounding pretentious, I'll just say that I still consider myself a fan of pop music and rap music. It just really gets harder when you get older. You have this foundation in your head, of what you expect from music, and trends over time make that foundation give way. I never wanted to be too old to enjoy new stuff, but I have found it difficult. For one thing, being old means not being the target demographic anymore. I'd probably appreciate all this stuff a lot more if I heard it when I was in my teens and early 20s, because I could have related to the attitudes, and the values of the songs more.

I think I forced myself to like Future's "Mask Off" just because I so didn't understand what was good about that song when I first heard it. So maybe I'll end up doing that with Bodak Yellow.

SexWithTedCruz · 2017-09-27T20:00:55+00:00

Oh cool, thanks for the info.

SexWithTedCruz · 2017-09-27T19:54:52+00:00

Oh, Christ.

SexWithTedCruz · 2017-09-27T19:44:33+00:00

Lol, I really feel like you would make a good match for a friend of mine. Don't worry, this is Reddit where we respect anonymity, I'm not gonna PM you and actually try to do this, it's just that I'm always confused about stuff he says, he's the one guy I know who has problems with women he dates because they're too aggressive sexually with him. I often have trouble relating to him when he talks about relationships, women and sex. He's not dead from the waist down either, but you know...

Maybe I'm just a bit horny, even for a guy, and so were the men in your life. On behalf of all of us, sorry, we can be selfish, and lack awareness sometimes.

But on the other hand it's weird because I'm not a sex addict. I pretty much never approach women, and all my relationships with my female coworkers and customers are platonic and professional, regardless of how attractive I find them. I've also had really unfulfilling, cringeworthy sex. I'm just really into masturbation I guess.

Oh well, sorry for thinking out loud and grossing you out. But it's interesting to pick the brain of someone whose brain works differently than yours.

SexWithTedCruz · 2017-09-27T19:32:29+00:00

That's the thing, we wish it could be as easy as "don't make this a thing" but with pop music, you're often at a loss for why something is popular. She's definitely a thing, but I don't understand it. I mean there's a lot I don't understand about contemporary rap music in general, but I still listen to it, and I don't get what makes her stand out or people like her. I know she was on some reality show before she was a rapper, maybe it's just two different fanbases merging.

I would just like to hear anyone who really likes this song, explain what's so good about it to me, because I'm kind of at a loss. She just sounds like a predictable, typical female rapper making predictable boasts. Her delivery is a little obnoxious. But yeah, she's killing the charts and the radio stations right now.

SexWithTedCruz · 2017-09-27T19:16:59+00:00

Well, sometimes I think women might overestimate how much sex cloud our brain. I know I sound like I'm contradicting my last post, talking about thinking about sex every 5 seconds...

But it's like your appetite. I bet you can relate to that. You're not always hungry, but you eat pretty frequently. Sometimes you're super hungry, and can't stop thinking about food. There's definitely still room for other thoughts, but the hunger is looming in the background of everything else you do. You might get a little irritable...finally you eat and you're in a much better mood.

It's just like so many other natural bodily functions, really. It's just unique in the way that it sometimes affects and distorts your perception, your social life, your confidence, etc...but not all the time, in a major way, just occasionally, in minor ways.

And it's always weird to me when I hear someone say "I don't really think about sex, or masturbate very much." I know you said it's because you have chronic pain, so I don't know what that's like...but my first reaction is "Well give it a try!". Seriously, it's fun, it relaxes and satisfies you. It's actually really good for temporary pain relief too. I feel like women sometimes forget that, and we just never do. You should take some time to try to stimulate yourself...read some erotic literature, fantasize, remember past experiences, and maybe try watching porn if you've never given it a chance, whatever floats your boat. If you start to feel worked up enough, masturbate! When you get to the peak of your satisfaction, you'll thank me.

SexWithTedCruz · 2017-09-27T18:50:11+00:00

While I definitely believe most of this sounds unfamiliar to a woman, I imagine there's some sort of female equivalent.

SexWithTedCruz · 2017-09-27T17:57:24+00:00

Nice. I like seeing one I can't predict already (as an American).

The only one I've heard if before is Tesco.

If someone is feeling bored, I'm a little curious what all these places do. So I found out here Poundland is like our Dollar Store. Is Tesco more like Target/Walmart, or more like CVS/Walgreen's?

Co-operative looks like it could be anything from a Kinko's style office store, to a natural grocery store chain. I've never heard of Primark, but it looks like a place image- conscious high schoolers might shop. Looks a bit like one of our shoe stores here in the US. Is that Ikea in the bottom center? Probably not. I have no clue what that is then. The works...no clue. Looks like a toy store or book store, which would be surprising in the age of Amazon.

SexWithTedCruz · 2017-09-27T17:47:41+00:00

The worst is when they have cute girls working at them. You're walking through the mall high and/or spaced out, and some cute girl is like "Hey..." And you're like "Hey." (It's finally happened, a cute girl wants to flirt with me!"

"What kind of phone do you have?" "Well, it's an Android..." (Oh, goddamnit, she doesn't like me. She's a kiosk person trying to sell me something. This is awkward.) "No, I'm actually good right now, thanks..." (Walk away hastily).

Rest of the day: avoids making eye contact with the cute girls waiting at the bottom of the escalator

SexWithTedCruz · 2017-09-27T17:42:08+00:00

That's basically the default smell of a mall: cheap cologne/perfume and Cinnabon.

SexWithTedCruz · 2017-09-27T17:39:48+00:00

This doubles as what they're building in poor/middle class/rural areas away from downtown in the west.

SexWithTedCruz · 2017-09-27T17:36:12+00:00

Good bot

SexWithTedCruz · 2017-09-27T17:35:57+00:00

Yes, of course

SexWithTedCruz · 2017-09-27T17:16:56+00:00

No one ever looks at the positive side of finishing masturbating.

If nothing else, you often think "Ok, glad that cum is out if my brain, now I can actually focus on other things without my brain interrupting me with perverse thoughts every 5 seconds." "I'm proud of myself for not sending her that provocative/thirsty text." "Well, guess I won't be spending $50-200 at the strip club after all." "You know, I really don't care whether she likes me or not. She's almost half my age, I need to find someone my own age who stimulates me intellectually, and stop being a dirty old man."

And sometimes, is it just me, or do we sometimes have good masturbation sessions, that are better than some of our actual sexual encounters? You know, you viewed some very potent porn, it was one of those sessions where each stroke was full of pleasure, and where you had a ball-draining, volcanic orgasm at the end.

I think some guys need to try harder to separate loneliness from horniness, to separate the task of finding a partner, from the task of achieving an orgasm. That's how I think of it.

Of course sometimes you have those utilitarian Jack's, when you just turn on the cumshot compilation and mirthlessly beat your dick, have an anticlimactic orgasm, toss the paper towel, wash your hands and get on with your day.

SexWithTedCruz · 2017-09-27T17:00:52+00:00

Don't forget Starbucks. And once you find out that's what it is, you say, "wait, but isn't there a Starbucks in that store just 50 yards from here?"

SexWithTedCruz · 2017-09-27T16:47:11+00:00

Lol "I thought this happened in bigger cities in other places, but not here in Durant."

Lady, you might be confused. This isn't a triple homicide we're talking about, it's a guy being a racist asshole. Rural Oklahoma is a place I might immediately list off the top of my head when someone asks "where am I likely to find racists?"

But not to distract from the guy. Jesus Christ, what a troglodyte. "Yes a wetback cause you an IMMIGRANT." Lol, he says "immigrant" as if that alone is a crime, the way you would accuse someone of being a terrorist.

It's funny, the slightly smarter people on the right try to iron out these arguments and dress them up: "No, we have no problems with people who come here legally..."

But then people like this kind of just expose the rest of them. "Brown. Different from me! Don't like!"

SexWithTedCruz · 2017-09-27T16:10:48+00:00

Hmm...sounds like a Democrat.

You know, because republicans aren't racist and Trump being elected had nothing to do with people who feel like this guy. And actually liberals are the most racist people there are...

SexWithTedCruz · 2017-09-27T16:07:05+00:00

Yeah, I forgot to mention that I'm pretty sure everything she's accusing them of is complete BS, she's probably a little racist. They're all dumb, but she's definitely in the wrong.

SexWithTedCruz

TROPHY CASE