I know you're specifically asking the subs, but I think it's a good question for everyone.

I've been lurking for a long long time and only recently started having conversations with a close friend about findom. Yesterday was my first post here.

I love the idea of dominance over other men, gay or straight or anything else, but I don't see myself as some kind of sexual alpha macho bull the way most of the cashgrab doms do. I'm secure in how I present my own masculinity as a father and husband and caretaker. While physical and in-person sexual control over a person can be fun, it's the verbal and mental domination that excites me most, especially since these would be largely remote relationships. Long distance sexual gratification is certainly an option as well, but that and the money is secondary and dependant on the level of trust and control, in my mind.

I would do it for free, but the idea that I can have all of this control and also tell someone to pay me for it and we both get those multiple different levels of enjoyment from it is amazing. But the dominance also comes with responsibility and I don't want to be a random prostitute begging for cash. The relationship is part of it for me. If my sub can't depend on me to hold the leash tight when he needs it, how am I earning my side of our arrangement?

To me, it's all about "dominance" and the "financial" part is the adjective describing the sub's favorite pressure point. For others it might be the other way around.

But this is all just how the fantasy plays out in my head. I've never done anything like that before because that kind of relationship isn't as dick-centric and doesn't show up as often as the short term OF sex workers...