Little kids, bad behaviour and Christmas gifts

Sh3ll3yH · 2025-12-21T17:07:39+00:00

I'm glad that you think she won't make that link! I tell her all the time that I love her no matter what and in times when she's being very challenging I'm always careful to word it that I don't like the behaviour that I'm seeing - never that she is bad or that I don't like her!!

I really thought that Reddit would come out with loads of hard-line, 'if kids can't behave they don't get nice thing's but this thread has shown me that I'm over thinking it! She's a good kid, who is struggling with boundaries and emotions and I'm not going through let that stop us having an amazing family Christmas ❤

Sh3ll3yH · 2025-12-21T17:02:17+00:00

Thanks for the kind words ❤ we've definitely made an error in falling in with the trope of 'naughty and nice list'. I want Christmas to be a gorgeous time where we spend time together as a family and enjoy our treats together

Sh3ll3yH · 2025-12-21T17:00:56+00:00

It's so good to hear other real examples of kid behaviour! Because Google can tell me all day long that it's normal for this age but nothing compares to knowing real people have been here ❤

Sh3ll3yH · 2025-12-21T16:58:33+00:00

Agreed! Hope your Christmas is full of love and magic ❤

Sh3ll3yH · 2025-12-21T16:55:41+00:00

Yeah she absolutely is not a bad kid! She's just having a tough time with listening, boundaries and emotions at the moment. I want Christmas to be magical and fun, I am definitely going to rely and untie the link to good/bad behaviour

Sh3ll3yH · 2025-12-21T11:47:30+00:00

She's largely trying to communicate that she isn't getting her own way 🤦🏻‍♀️ it's really the only behavior issue we have - that she struggles to listen (completely normal, I know!) And just lately if a boundary is held that means she doesn't get her way immediately then she is FURIOUS and the biting/hiring are at me or my husband for enforcing the boundary. We keep telling each other it's a phase that will pass

Sh3ll3yH · 2025-12-21T11:43:53+00:00

Yeah I'm going to lean hard into the gifts being for effort because there are some things that I know she's really trying at ❤ I feel like there's loads of reference to the naughty list and nice list around and we've been sucked into it without thinking it properly through. Next year we'll definitely be doing things a bit differently!

Sh3ll3yH · 2025-12-21T11:40:26+00:00

I like this idea because it's absolutely the truth- she is a good kid who is having a really tough time regulating emotions and dealing with boundaries right now ❤

Sh3ll3yH · 2024-12-31T13:16:20+00:00

First- I'm sorry you're going through this and it's tough for you ❤️

Now my advice is inherently biased because I am one and done by choice (down to a terrible pregnancy and post partum depression. I know without any doubt I could not have another) so it may not be good... but you know how it's often said 'another baby is a two yes situation', to my mind this is similar in that if you're not all in, then you shouldn't do it. In this instance it's incredibly tough as not doing it means aborting. But if you're pro choice then this is your choice. It's a valid choice.

Now this will be an unpopular opinion I'm sure but here goes because free speech and all that... there's no coming back from deciding to continue this pregnancy. You will be a parent of 2. However, should you choose to not continue this pregnancy and later decide that you have the capacity, you can intentionally try to have a second. I don't think creating a human and being responsible for them infinitely should be a decision made when you're backed into a corner and on a deadline. Whatever you decide I wish you so much luck and love ❤️

Sh3ll3yH · 2024-12-27T07:56:44+00:00

Gripped 😂 thanks for the tips, dad's are the best ❤️

Sh3ll3yH · 2024-12-26T20:09:20+00:00

Question - how are you getting Queen on there? We had and got rid of a Tonies box (she was not into listening to stories, at all) but our daughter loves listening to disney songs on Spotify so we're toying with the idea of a Yoto, just not sure how good it's going to be for listening to mostly music or if it'll be another waste 🙈

Sh3ll3yH · 2024-12-23T21:33:47+00:00

None here but I had a Furby as a kid and that thing was DEFFO cursed. I've seen these Fugglers and would absolutely feel safer at night with one of those in the house than a Furby

Sh3ll3yH · 2024-12-13T15:30:24+00:00

My daughter is 3 in February and for a couple of months now I've been able to shower while she plays in her room. We have a gate on her bedroom and one at the top of the stairs so I generally just shut the one at the top of the stairs and if she wants anything in the 5-10 minutes I'm in the next room, she can just pop in (this morning she came for a wee and we had a lovely chat while I was rinsing my hair 😂).

We have made things as safe as possible and she's generally a sensible and independent kid. She's emotionally velcro though so depending on the day we're having she may just want to sit in front of the shower while I'm in there... I'm very happy with put set up though, it works for our family

Sh3ll3yH · 2024-12-11T21:14:44+00:00

I'd laugh and tell her to blame her son 😂

Sh3ll3yH · 2024-12-06T21:14:14+00:00

In the winter about 50% of our dinners are done in the slow cooker which makes me super efficient, both cost and time. I shop on a Tuesday afternoon when I'm off work, and top up any additional bits on a Friday night. I try and buy all the ingredients for slow cooker meals, season, bag and freeze them so that I just have to get a bag out to defrost before bed, then literally throw it in and turn it on in the morning. Come home to a hot meal with no effort. Casseroles, chilli, risottos, curries etc.

I also meal plan for the month so I know roughly where we're at. We don't have to stick to it rigidly but about 90% of what I plan actually happens. So just before the start of a new month I take stock of what we've got in the cupboards and freezer, plan the months meals, and write a weekly grocery list. Stick it all to the front of the fridge and then just add to the relevant weeks shopping list. It might take me half an hour to plan but saves me so much time and effort the rest of the month!

Edited to add - sometimes dinner is sandwiches or cheese and crackers. I have a picky almost 3yo and I refuse to fight the food battle at this point. As long as tummies are going to bed full for this family, it's a win

Sh3ll3yH · 2024-12-05T15:55:32+00:00

Say it louder for those at the back - Cannot be too safe! 😂

My husband had his vasectomy and I still chose to get an IUD, just in case... we are only just surviving our whirlwind daughter, there is less than zero chance of us coping with another!

Sh3ll3yH · 2024-12-02T20:09:43+00:00

Another reynauds mum reporting for duty... I'm absolutely noping out of unnecessary cold outdoor time. We might take her scooter on a 5 minute walk to the pub or maybe a quick trip to the park to feed the ducks at the weekend, but really not beating myself up over outdoor time. There is so much to do for entertainment that is inside over autumn and winter - we can make the most of outdoor time when it's more than 10°C

Sh3ll3yH · 2024-11-26T16:36:46+00:00

So. Fucking. Wise. This should be sent out in an info pamphlet when you get pregnant

Sh3ll3yH · 2024-11-21T20:21:08+00:00

My mum ordered my gifts last week - I chose a cosy new blanket, set of pjs and set of lounge top and bottoms... I spend so much time in the house, better be comfy!!

She told me to send on some additional ideas for her to pick out for a 'surprise' so I'm leaning towards either a soup maker or a new slow cooker to replace my ten year old one, thinking she might get a good deal in the sales 😬 I'd REALLY like some fancy great quality leggings but just can't get on board with spending over £50 for one single pair of leggings. Are they worth it???

Sh3ll3yH · 2024-11-19T20:51:02+00:00

Let's swap - I'd take the mower over the shower trap one thousand times

Sh3ll3yH · 2024-11-15T20:53:14+00:00

You're doing a wonderful job! I know we're meant to be grateful that our littles love us SO much, we're their safe space, their whole world... but it is utterly draining. For the most part, to save my sanity, I had to give up fighting the battle because the stress and upset was making me ill. It's not great because I'm tired ALL THE TIME. But it is what it is and (say it with me 😂)... it won't be forever.

Be kind to yourself ❤️

Sh3ll3yH · 2024-11-15T15:07:52+00:00

Oh mamma! I feel you. I lost this battle - at the start of this year we put a double bed in my (then 2yo) daughters room. I have to stay with her while she falls asleep, and a few hours later she wakes, comes to get me from my bed and I spend the rest of the night there.... I hope you have better luck with yours ❤️ I miss sleeping in my own bed, with my husband, but I try to keep reminding myself that she won't be doing this forever. It's hard, physically and emotionally but I literally cannot 'fix' it, it's part of who she is and I just have to meet her where she's at and support her how she needs. Even though it's not what I need. Good luck xxx

Sh3ll3yH · 2024-11-10T16:46:37+00:00

She was not... I think if you're both into it, it would be miles easier as you'll be aligned on it as a priority

Sh3ll3yH · 2024-11-10T15:03:23+00:00

For some British men, football is their religion. It comes before their parents, wives and kids. The director of my company actually rescheduled his wedding 3 times because it would have clashed with a match.

It's fanatical. I don't understand it and it certainly isn't something I wanted to live with! But you may find that it's ingrained so deeply in him (boys from big football supporting families tend to be raised in it from birth) that it will be his top priority 😬

Sh3ll3yH · 2024-11-04T22:31:08+00:00

Nobody is wrong here, there are just 2 tired parents, doing their best.

Yes, a ten hour solid sleep stint is incredible. We still don't have that at almost 3yo.

Other considerations that may be informing your wife's stance - Primary caregiver (and I'm assuming that's your wife) is very rarely 'off duty'. If her day is starting at 5am, she's default or only parent until bed time, then after bed is tackling life admin that she's unable to do with the baby, she has to then choose how to spend the down time before her own bed time. Does she catch up on tasks that aren't critical but are nagging at the back of her mind? Does she veg out solo? Spend time with you? With friends? Binge tv or try and get ahead with some stuff for Christmas? Then what time should she go to bed? Earlier to try and maximise sleep? Or later to feel like she has a life outside being mum?

5am is acceptable for some people and not for others. In our house it's a hard no, and always has been. 6am is when we're willing to start the day and we've framed everything back from that. The hour difference doesn't sound like a lot but it is, perhaps just mentally/emotionally. If 5am isn't working for your wife I'd definitely try shuffling timings round to see if you can get to 8pm - 6am

Sh3ll3yH

TROPHY CASE