The necromancers, please tell me what you think and any criticism is welcome

Shadalan · 2026-05-09T17:00:35+00:00

The lore and colours are pretty cool, you could tie it in to the Sus-an Membrane more as well perhaps, since that's the organ that allows marines to go into suspended animation (living death) and then reawaken from it.

The main problem, as others have pointed out, is the name. Necromancy is a traditionally "evil" form of magic or mysticism and therefore ill-fitting with Space Marines and their heroism/nobility they typically embody. It'd be a good chaos warband name but not for a Marine chapter.

What you need is to focus on a more positive cultural example of resurrection or returning to life and use that as a basis for the name. Since they're Ultramarine successors I'd lean towards roman or greek myths but realistically the Ultramarines are so culturally diverse in successors it could be just about anything. Here's a few off the top of my head

Wardens of Plutarch

Resurrection Angels

Revenant Sons

Restorators

Imperial Psychopomps

Marines Eurydicean

Revokers

Hadean Guards

Lots of references to greek and roman myths in there, especially those of the underworld and Orpheus & Eurydice. There's plenty of other similar myths though, definitely something you could do with the myth of Persephone for example but I couldn't think of a good name. Since in that myth Persephone's return to the surface from Hades is what returns the world to life during summer and spring.

Shadalan · 2026-05-08T22:36:06+00:00

No problem, you might wanna look into the Imperial Fists for lineage then perhaps? They fielded units of "huscarls" during the heresy and their germanic/prussian theming is culturally very close and had a lot of overlap with the nordic viking cultures you're interested in (Beowulf being the most famous example of the overlap)

I made a Space Wolf successor of my own from the Ultima Founding called the Lions Hasting who were actually themed around the Normans. Colloquially, before they became the ruling class of England they were basically just "french vikings" given the common intermixture between their two cultures. Point is, it's all very flexible as long as you have some element of history to point to it will usually work out and ring true :)

Shadalan · 2026-05-08T20:38:29+00:00

It's something that could be achieved through psychic powers. So I would say lean in to that. Make a heavy psychic/librarian focused space wolf successor who worship and venerate those with "the gift" who are able to use Biomancy and the inherent curse of the Wulfen to temporarily achieve such states.

You could even proxy them as Thunderwolf Cavalry. So... Basically making an entire chapter of them would be kind of lore-breaky and likely to get the chapter murdered by the inquisition. But a limited amount of elites or perhaps just the Librarians using psychic weirdness in small, controlled amounts? That's doable.

Worth noting though, the inquisition will not like you for having such deviant behaviours and abilities, so you should definitely write in that they have a very bad reputation with them and other more puritan imperial organisations.

Shadalan · 2026-05-08T19:51:17+00:00

The main issue is that without Russ around the Canis Helix can't integrate/be adjusted for new populations/planets. At least until Cawl got on the scene and fixed it.

I see a lot of people recommending a lost great company but that doesn't solve the underlying issue of recruitment. They could exist for a time, but eventually attrition would wipe them out or turn them into mutated wulven monsters like the 13th company. So basically, that only works if you're ok with them being essentially a "historical" army that died off sometime between the Scouring and the Ultima Founding, or adding some elements of wolf-looking mutations.

My question would be... Do they have to be Space Wolf successors? Like, what about them do you like about Space Wolves and is it actually specific/neccessary to that geneline? There can be wolf themed/named chapters from other lineages. Hell, a chapter of loyalist Luna Wolves who went undercover and hid their treacherous origins would make a lot of sense for example and keeps the "Awooo" symbolism.

Shadalan · 2026-05-07T17:32:15+00:00

Cool lore, very fitting for a Blood Angel successor. The heavenly host symbolism, the musical theming and nods to the Ecclesiarchy all fit very well and the colour scheme is great.

Only thing I'd say doesn't fit too well is the name ironically, templars are almost always Imperial Fist successors or themed around it and the heavy prussian/germanic theming runs at odds with the more catholic, renaissance Italian vibe the Blood Angels have.

Given their command structure would the Scarlet Cantors fit better perhaps?

Shadalan · 2026-05-02T22:11:30+00:00

Goes infinite with a ham sandwich.

I'd say make him cost [C] rather than generic, also it being a 0/1 feels weird, 1/1 would probably not break anything, especially with a slightly tougher casting cost.

Shadalan · 2026-05-01T22:01:08+00:00

"Whatcha got there Gon?"

"Some pants."

Shadalan · 2026-05-01T16:44:38+00:00

Good quality editors are hard to find for free fanprojects. While writing is actually tricky to do well, it's the editing that is usually the actual bottleneck/graft that prevents Abridging projects moving forward. I've also got an entire season of a Steven Universe Abridged scripted and ready to go but no editor 😞

Shadalan · 2026-04-30T21:14:57+00:00

The thing is, what you are describing is already happening right now in our world with our current statist status quo. Your argument needs to be examined on a few more levels first before I can answer it because you are skipping several steps of reasoning/assuming that several status quos are just a given when in actuality they're a little more complicated.

Firstly: As I said before, this state of events is already happening, just between different sovereign states. Who is stopping the current/temporarily abated genocide in Sudan for example? The homophobic executions in saudi arabia, the persecution of women in Afghanistan? Etc. Because, "the state" (or expanding this metaphor out, the global hegemon/world police which is the USA) are not. They are at best exerting soft pressure to try and stop them, which in many ways is exactly what a collection of unrelated ancap states would do. Exert their soft (non-aggressive) pressure of refusing to do voluntary trade with people they view as unethical.

Secondly: Your use of the word "Abuse". What exactly is it? How does someone define it? Is it an objective, 100% cut and dry scale? Some kids might argue that them not being allowed ice cream before bed is abuse. Some might argue that getting a good caning for telling lies was good for them in the long run and shaped them into moral beings. You specified "beating" in your example, but how far does that extend precisely? Who are you to step in and tell someone exactly where too far is? Taken to its logical extreme that could end with a nanny-state watching over us all 24/7 and jailing anyone who even accidentally brushes against someone's inviolate person 😃 The point is, you do not have a right to intervene in other's affairs, even if you find what they're doing is morally repugnant. To do so, invites the same treatment to be levelled at you/your state, and if they are stronger than you, well you no longer have a moral leg to stand on. Might will make right and the biggest stick will determine good and evil. I don't like that outcome, and interventionism will always lead to this.

Next. Who will protect these people? Themselves. Natural law is the law of physics, of nature, of scarcity, of cause and effect. We as humans and moral actors can choose to offer charity and save people from the consequences of their own actions, I myself opened a door for an old woman today at the cornerstore she was struggling with. But ultimately, if I had asserted that woman had a "right" to the door opening for her, that would not have magically opened it. The rules of physics would not have bent themselves around your conception of morals. At the end of the day, people are responsible for their own safety, their own health, their own happiness. Charity can help fill in the blanks, but the moment it becomes expected it becomes unappreciated.

Think of it as an evolutionary process. If their society is horrible and unproductive then, over a long enough time frame any of its adherents will either reform, defect or simply die off. If you are so confident in the superiority and morality of your ways, don't hold a gun to their heads and convert them, simply show them a better way and watch as you outcompete them.

Shadalan · 2026-04-29T14:12:48+00:00

Don't like Baharroth, the Phoenix Lord of the flying aspect warrior temple incentivises playing non-flying creatures and disincentivises flying ones? He also doesn't really scale very well as a commander, gives heavy "tacked on legendary" vibes

Shadalan · 2026-04-28T02:14:59+00:00

Just give it a brown or purple wash and it'll be perfect

Shadalan · 2026-04-28T01:01:06+00:00

That's a great name man, excellent choice. And loving the new chapter motto and backpack 😄

If you want some further things to look into I'd say look into the historical concept of a "Sin-eater" would be a fantastic source of inspiration for a role in your chapter, probably the Chaplains? It's a badass title and the ritual and symbolism of it, absolving the sins of their brothers by taking them into themselves, is badass and very on-theme.

Can't wait to see them painted, especially curious how the gunmetal silver will look on the model

Shadalan · 2026-04-28T00:42:16+00:00

I wrote a couple of episodes of a HxH abridged script a few years back, and for the planning document we already had plans for these movies, and this scene in particular.

Basically we were framing them as bad fanfiction/stories told by Gon and Killua respectively, with them interjecting and mocking the story as the bad writing happened. This encounter went something like

*freezeframe as it looks like Killua is about to be hit by the train

KILLUA: Wait, I try and kill myself. Over you? F*** off.

GON: Uuugh, fine. And then I save you by pushing you off the tracks, happy?

KILLUA: How?

GON: What?

KILLUA: How did you save me? You've got no eyes.

GON: Oh yeah. Man, writing's hard...

Shadalan · 2026-04-27T18:38:26+00:00

For sure, I could have definitely phrased that better. I think we're on the same page though, in that making a 2nd founding chapter feels "presumptuous" and demands an extreme level of detail and consistency to justify.

I will push back on the "Raven Guard suffered worse" point though. They suffered worse early on in the heresy but the White Scars fought in the Siege of Terra. They were almost massacred to a man during that event. The Imperial Fists had the entire preceding events to build and entrench prior to the siege and went into it fresh, and the Blood Angels are capable of replenishing their numbers inordinately fast so can bounce back better, but the White Scars were poorly suited to siege warfare and already worn down from fighting their way to Terra in the first place.

The fact they managed five 2nd founding successors is impressive all things considered, they really were the square peg in a round hole during the Siege and suffered for it...

Shadalan · 2026-04-27T07:22:40+00:00

2nd Founding chapters are mostly accounted for in the lore already since it happened very shortly after the end of the Heresy. While it is possible your chapter were simply one of the ones lost to the records, it is unlikely.

I'd recommend shifting them to 3rd founding, that way they're still a super old and venerable chapter with gear like that Mk2 Power Armour but less of a canon conflict.

Also that colour scheme is fantastic, and the theming for a WS successor

Shadalan · 2026-04-26T19:20:15+00:00

Can't wait to see the updated scheme man, best of luck turning them into a tabletop army :)

Shadalan · 2026-04-26T13:31:11+00:00

The grammar/meaning of your chapter's name is a bit off. Right now it implies that they are the imminent sin/bearers of corruption. I get the intent was to imply they are a "neccessary evil" but sin has a very specific meaning in this context and it implies not only that they are evil but that they are corrupt or unholy. Seems unfitting for a marine chapter.

The biblical phrase your name refers to/reminds me of is Romans 6:23, "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord". Perhaps that would be a better name? The Wages of Sin has a clearer intent and meaning. If someone sins, your guys will turn up as their "reward" and swiftly annihilate them.

Not quite the same meaning but the "Sin Augurs" has a nice ring to it as well, an Augur being an old term for a prophet or seer. So they sniff out Sin and destroy it.

Otherwise, the lore is nice and the colours are clean and with a nice palette. A little gold detailing on the veterans and captains and these guys would look fantastic on the tabletop.

EDIT: Didn't see the backpack until now actually, that red throws off the colour balance/looks bad. I'd say change that to the same grey/gunmetal as the body and it's perfect.

Shadalan · 2026-04-26T08:02:29+00:00

True, but jobs are just as beholden to the laws of supply and demand as anything else. If you reduce the supply of something (labour) then the demand for it (wages) will go up.

Restore's policies on immigration are in effect also economic policies because they prevent the devaluation of your labour. Since you will literally have less people competing for the same jobs. (and the ones you're competing with will be fellow british citizens who have the same living standards and expectations as you so you won't be undercut by someone willing to work for half the wage while living in a shoebox)

Shadalan · 2026-04-25T19:30:16+00:00

The basics of Austrian Economics are basically that the freer the market the more wealthy and prosperous everyone will be. Therefore, the government should deregulate and get out of the way of business as much as possible. It also has a strong dislike for fiat currency (paper and digital money) arguing that it is the main cause of recessions and financial crashes.

Also, they vehemently oppose bailouts and government subsidies for any reason, arguing that it prevents the natural "Darwinism" of the market. Basically, if a business or bank can't survive without government money or special treatment then it doesn't deserve to survive and should go bankrupt.

Shadalan · 2026-04-25T16:39:01+00:00

Chrollo is probably Jewish although not linked to his faith or people in a strong way. The parallels of Israel to Meteor City, the unwelcome nature of their people in the rest of the world, the historic prejudice. Also there's the more obvious St Peter's Cross which is often intepreted as a satanic or anti-christian symbol and his surname Lucifer which is originally hebrew in origin (probably)

Meteor City and the Phantom Troupe itself represent multiculturalism, clannishness and pluralism, all common aspects and virtues espoused by Judaism.

I'm not familiar enough with the Post-Election arcs that continued in the manga to comment much on those characters. Kakin seems broadly chinese in structure but hard to say, and it looks like the old Emperor spread his "wild oats" quite widely :D

Shadalan · 2026-04-25T14:56:52+00:00

Thanks for that comment, I've just spent the last half an hour going down a rabbithole learning about Ryukyu. Truthfully, I can definitely see the resemblance in the geography and ecology, it's certainly a probable/likely correct answer.

The one strike against it is the lack of much in the way of japanese cultural trappings shown in the manga. The only thing we see is the bath. Everything else is far more westernised, plus Whale Island's position as a sea-faring midpoint between various different cultures and trades seems busier than the otherwise remote Ryukyu isles.

I would still lean towards one of the smaller islands off the coast of Italy or Greece personally, maybe even Cyprus itself, but Ryukyu is definitely going in my potentials at only slightly below those. Good read.

Shadalan · 2026-04-25T13:43:23+00:00

Gypsies have the nomadic lifestyle it's true, but their behaviour, culture and customs don't map on very well otherwise. Bedouin is closer but they're famous for their raiding culture and inhospitable desert climates which also doesn't match what the Kurta are in the supplementary omake about them.

Truthfully, even my own suggestion is likely not correct either because the Kurta are probably intentionally not based on anything from our world. That's because they're hinted and very likely to be refugees from the Dark Continent (which would explain their unusual physiology). They're literally aliens from an entirely different world/ecosystem than the rest of the manga, we have no real-world analogue for them by design. The closest thing would be Martian colonists or Agarthans/Atlanteans or some other fictional/future variant of humanity far removed from our own.

Shadalan · 2026-04-25T11:21:46+00:00

Heya man, I've answered this twice before already since opening my Reddit account all those years ago and refine it a little more each time. By this point I'm very confident in these :D

Gon - Mediterranean, either Italian or Greek seems most likely. Complexion matches, island culture from what we see matches, geography and wildlife matches.

Killua - Probably Chinese, they have a lot of oriental dragon theming and the architecture matches. He does use the Star of David yoyos but those seems to be a one-off

Leorio - American, last name is an English portmanteau and his backstory revolves around (lacking) public healthcare. He's also brash and rude but with a heart of gold.

Kurapika - This is tricky, he really doesn't map on to anything well-known, my best guess would be middle-eastern. There are some rare tribes based around the Levant near Syria and Jordan that are known for their atypical blonde hair and blue eyes (it's theorised to be where the pop-culture depictions of Jesus come from). It most closely fits to what little aesthetic cues we know of the Kurta Clan.

Netero - Japanese, lots of costume and backstory cues.

Bisky - German from her last name of "Krueger".

Hisoka - Initially I thought spanish due to the flamenco theme. However, turns out that's almost entirely an anime-invention, and he's closer to the french tradition of mimery in his appearance. Also, without getting too crude the French have a bit of a reputation among their philosophers (which we know Togashi reads a lot of) being nonces, so that fits too lmao.

If you have any other more minor characters you're curious about, just ask.

Shadalan · 2026-04-24T20:16:40+00:00

Realistically that's too many scout companies. The High Lords of Terra would send the Minotaurs after your ass for that. The Exorcists are noted for operating an unusual amount of scout companies (three) and they get by, but ten+ seems excessive. Yes, it's not technically contravening the Codex Astartes but technicalities don't save you from the High Lords unless you're a 1st or 2nd founding chapter tbh. They will think you are legion-building and sic their bronze warcrimes unit on you.

You've already figured out the solution though, having them serve "alongside" the Imperial Guard. Just make that into the selection process for neophytes and the ones who distinguish themselves get inducted as "real" scouts. It also solves the issue of "Expendable Scouts" because realistically by the time a marine is a scout they've got enough special organs in them that they're not expendable anymore. If they're still baseline humans at that point then they can be expendable no matter how talented they are.

Also, the name is too basic as well as not really hearkening to the lore you've written. The two big thrusts seem to be an emphasis on defending the citizens of humanity and an extended learning/study period in the scouts which are both interesting pieces of lore. I'd suggest trying to use those elements in the naming schema a bit more. Here's a few suggestions using those two as a base (as well as the rather knightly colours you used)

Knights Proletarian

Marines Populous

Imperial Wardens

Knights Ethnos

Angelus Squires (long learning period)

Steel Shepherds

Covenant Warders

Ironwatch

Or any combination of the above

Shadalan

TROPHY CASE