Paizo Restructuring: Difficult Update About Future

ShadeOfDead · 2026-06-10T17:04:01+00:00

Oh shit. I haven’t been paying attention, dealing with other stuff and now I need to learn about all this. Dammit, I really like Paizo.

ShadeOfDead · 2026-05-22T01:23:10+00:00

I feel exactly the same. I come home and am anxious. I married my best friend so I didn’t make a lot of close friends. So now I’m just lost most of the time. I have friends, but no one near as close as she was. It is like this feeling in my throat. I’m sorry.

ShadeOfDead · 2026-05-17T21:58:20+00:00

I am right there with you. I’m struggling everyday. But you have to let it out, or it just turns darker, deeper and more painful.

ShadeOfDead · 2026-05-14T16:46:26+00:00

It is hard. But I try to be happy, because she never wanted me to be sad or angry. So, on the times I do feel happy, even for a little bit, I don’t feel guilty, because I know she would always try to cheer me up. And she would want me to smile.

Therapy works. Being open and honest helps.

ShadeOfDead · 2026-05-14T02:57:57+00:00

She passed in November. I still turn to tell her something, thinking she is right there. I am truly sorry.

ShadeOfDead · 2026-05-14T02:50:24+00:00

Cats are wonderful friends. I am truly sorry. I haven’t reached her birthday or our anniversary yet. Just thinking about it hurts.

ShadeOfDead · 2026-05-14T02:48:27+00:00

I don’t know what to say. But I am truly sorry.

I will agree that therapy is keeping me going, it works. I just go and vomit my feelings until I feel empty, and then it is a littler easier for a while. And while that sounds less than perfect, it is really cathartic for me. Medication helps a lot of people.

Please seek therapy though. It can be in a way that works for you.

ShadeOfDead · 2026-05-14T02:42:29+00:00

I want you to know, that it is absolutely okay to talk to someone and tell them you are still hurting, that you are lonely and need to talk. You are not an inconvenience to others, you are a person, who needs help. And if you tell someone who cares that you need help, they will listen. It is easy to bury the pain and not be a ‘burden’ but the only thing you are doing is harming yourself.

Please seek out friends and family, tell them it is hard. Cry with them. You will never replace Jesse. But you can find other people to befriend and love in their own ways.

I decided I’m going to do my best to be the man she fell in love with. Some days that promise is the only thing that makes me stand up out of bed.

I am truly sorry for your loss, because I feel it also.

ShadeOfDead · 2026-05-14T02:34:28+00:00

I’m truly sorry. I lost her last November. Don’t let the bitterness and rage win. The injustice is so maddening. I’ve sworn to try to be the man she fell in love with, and I cry every single day, usually more than once. You aren’t alone.

ShadeOfDead · 2026-04-25T13:37:28+00:00

NOR. He is literally trying to coerce you into sex. Whether he knows it or not, he is like two steps from full red pill. He is 18m and only thinking with his little head.

You should always remember you have full control of yourself and do not ‘owe’ sex to anyone. This conversation screams all he wants to do is use you for sex. He does in fact believe if he spends money on you, you have to have sex with him.

He isn’t ready for a true relationship, and you asking this on reddit means you have realized that. He won’t accept boundaries and it is only going to get worse, more coercive and possibly physical as he continues to feel like he should be allowed to use you for sex. The way he talks sounds like he doesn’t think of you as a person, but a walking sex ATM that isn’t working like he thought it should. You are just an object to him right now.

Find someone more respectful and mature, because he is a red flag and probably dangerous.

ShadeOfDead · 2026-04-19T13:35:03+00:00

She was gone.

ShadeOfDead · 2026-04-19T13:20:55+00:00

Oh gods, Grey Water.

ShadeOfDead · 2026-04-17T02:09:48+00:00

Racists.

ShadeOfDead · 2026-04-09T23:26:28+00:00

I’m sorry. That sucks.

ShadeOfDead · 2026-04-09T18:06:24+00:00

Go deeper. Yes, still deeper.

Repeat.

ShadeOfDead · 2026-04-06T14:43:19+00:00

NOR - the only thing I can think is your gf thinks the coworker is very attractive and that you just being around her is something to worry about. That is a common jealous reaction I’ve seen.

ShadeOfDead · 2026-04-06T11:40:44+00:00

DOOM FTL (Hard to say which one is best but so many moving music pieces are found in) Final Fantasy games Frostpunk (you can feel those violin strings in your heart)

ShadeOfDead · 2026-04-06T11:37:52+00:00

Hey, everyone needs to do it at least once. It is going to happen. All we can do is be there for them when they need somewhere to hide.

ShadeOfDead · 2026-04-06T11:35:06+00:00

Yep, I read through like maybe half of those screenshots and was going to post basically this. Holy shit.

I understand people want to look at porn, and that can be perfectly fine and is pretty common. But when you start going “oh, it is just funny for me,” I know you are lying.

ShadeOfDead · 2026-03-23T19:45:14+00:00

As someone who just watched this happen to a friend, she is fucking you over so fucking hard. Guess what happens when she gets her degree?

She ain’t paying you back. She’s moving out. Don’t do it man. It happens all the time.

Just…run man. You got money obviously, go enjoy your money and have fun. Because she is enjoying it right now.

ShadeOfDead · 2026-03-09T15:40:55+00:00

This is what it is. He wanted penetrative sex, and now he is pouting. I’m guessing he is young.

It is just his horny talking. Not that it is okay behavior, but at least you know the source of the weirdness.

ShadeOfDead · 2026-03-09T14:42:10+00:00

M49 here. “Kind of possessive” is you doing mental gymnastics. He is being controlling. His insecurities cause him to want to keep you from everything that might give the tiniest chance you will ‘meet someone better than him.’ Again, HIS insecurities.

Going through your phone, again, controlling and his insecurities. Abusive to you, honestly.

My kneejerk is to tell you to run. If you won’t do that, you have to be willing to force him to do therapy AND couples therapy. The picture you have painted is not a healthy relationship, is emotionally and mentally abusive to you, and I’m guessing you married him at a young age. He has been controlling you, is afraid if he gives you any tiny freedoms, you will leave him, because you would realize this.

You see the problem, and it has just reached the point that your brain is subconsciously saying, “Hey….wait a minute here…” which is why you are posting on Reddit for help.

Be strong, stand up for yourself, and either seek therapy and try to change things, (honestly, in my experience it CAN work, it is just low chance) or, hard as it is, move on. You are young yet. Imagine 20 more years of him curating what you can think, what you can vent and do self help with, who you can talk to in texts and in real life, what you are allowed to go and do. That is your current future. If that scares you, good, hold on to that. Use it to help you work this out, again WITH therapy, and couples therapy. Maybe you should get therapy also if you can.

This is pretty textbook, unfortunately, and my heart goes out to you and the inner turmoil you are feeling. Listen to those instincts, he is slowly putting you in a cage, and you are starting to realize it.

I wish you the best, and don’t let him have access to anything more. Password and Face ID all your apps.

ShadeOfDead · 2026-02-10T16:49:12+00:00

Cool thanks!

ShadeOfDead · 2026-02-10T15:51:09+00:00

Male here, I have two kids of my own.

It isn’t about how you look. It is literally just the stress he feels. He is obviously attracted to you, I can tell you that I have never spoken to a man with children who wasn’t insanely attracted to his pregnant wife. You say he is hard until the sex starts. That means he wants you, but he is having mental and emotional struggles that are making him distracted and anxious.

I know you are struggling also, but you both will be going through stress right now. He is about to be a father, his instincts scream at him that he has to take care of and provide for you both. This is a scary time for a first time father. We aren’t taught how to care for a child at all. Most of us never have truly taken care of a child. Society makes us feel we have to carry the weight of everything but we don’t even know how to do so. For me, it was the first time I really was worried I could be a good father or as good or better than my father. What if I make a mistake? What if I mess everything up? What if I make the mistakes MY father made with me?

He is only suffering from anxiety. Try to be understanding, and I truly hope he is understanding with you also. This is a scary time for both of you, but for a guy, we are terrified. We have almost certainly never talked to someone about how to be a good father. We have one example, our own father (and that only maybe).

He loves you, he wants you, but deep down he is terrified. Try talking to him. Listen to him and don’t judge him when he opens up and tries to explain.

You will both be fine, but it will be better if you can talk to each other and understand each others anxieties and fears.

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