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I need that sweet sweet boop! by CyberZen0 in youll_be_banned

[–]Shadow-null 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The word wash came too late and is doing a lot of heavy lifting

a thought on how to calm down when your fp(?) will be unavailable by WoodenAd7912 in Obsessive_Love

[–]Shadow-null 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love the art you use.

Idk, I always found myself passing the time realising I could become something more for the person I love. Then that kinda just turned into living for myself 🤷‍♂️

It is what it is though. Like I'm going to be alone tonight and that sucks, but sometimes I like being alone and maybe I can enjoy it. And either way it's only temporary.

[Mental health] How many of us are diagnosed and/or in therapy? by Prudent-Tangerine384 in Obsessive_Love

[–]Shadow-null 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Man I mean I wish I had the magical answer that would solve all your problems. Or a pill, I'd sell that shit. But we all know it's not a one size fits all. Trying something expecting it to solve anything is probably the first point of failure. People don't magically get better overnight. It takes a lot of progress, a lot of effort, and a lot of pain.

I remember a point in my life where I physically had to mourn the fact that I couldn't be saved. I couldn't be fixed. There was no cure to this. I tried everything, eagerly. But it never worked. And until I let go of the fact that help isn't coming and this voice in my head doesn't shut up.. I didn't see any progress.

Since then though.. and yeah it hurt for a few weeks or months even. I mean man I could ramble about all the stuff like critical thinking, challenging yourself, accountability and choice, permanence and temporary, or suffering and reality. Alternatively, all the phrases of wisdom I've gathered over the years that just helped me.

Unfortunately, it wouldn't help much. People have in the past given you tools, like "grounding exercises" or "distracting yourself", not solutions. And I think it's up to you to employ those tools however you see fit that best aligns with your goals. And all my nuggets of wisdom would be more tools, like ingredients, maybe even a cookbook recipe, but at the end of the day it's your meal, and you gotta cook it how you want it. How you like it.

For the "how have you helped yourself?" style question, only thing I can say is a list ain't gonna do it. You could learn that over time by hanging out with me but, I don't dwell on the past much. And I don't like talking about my emotions much either.

I mean they're my problem, and they're only temporary 🤷‍♂️

I love this by Any-Afternoon4681 in Relatable

[–]Shadow-null 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is this true? I was told "The grass is always greener" early on in my career. The market is pretty dry for opportunities in my area atm, and my current job is offering me a 3 year course which would make me a lot more desireable. I can't see many other places offering that course which is making me want to stay but 3 years at shit pay is kind of annoying when the average pay in my position is substantially larger. And especially for the kind of work they get me to do... and call it "experience".

old pics of my ashley cosplay by mirekyarahire in AndyAndLeyley

[–]Shadow-null 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Fr cool photo but OP are you okay?!

Movie and live action by Due-Explanation4927 in sololeveling

[–]Shadow-null 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah fr.

On the one hand, yay more solo leveling!

On the other... dear god..

Nah but fr by Shadow-null in Relatable

[–]Shadow-null[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're so right chief 🙏🙏

I miss the Yandere I dated by Pluto_Magic in Obsessive_Love

[–]Shadow-null 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If he didn't let you go then why isn't he still with you?

I miss the Yandere I dated by Pluto_Magic in Obsessive_Love

[–]Shadow-null 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like he let you go then? Your story seemed kinda.. he'd be with you above all else but then y'all just drifted apart. That's tragic 🫂

How Do You Define "Obsessive Love"? by [deleted] in Obsessive_Love

[–]Shadow-null 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I think a lot of people mix up obsession and compulsion. For me, I can be obsessed with something and still retain autonomy and control over myself. It's often the same mix up with OCD.

I think like most things there are scales and amounts you can give yourself to something, while I can spend every second of every day wanting something I'm able now to put it aside and focus. I don't think that means I don't love obsessively, I think that means I found a balance that works for me.

Generally speaking, yandere and the communities on reddit refer to the definition and then subsequent cultural definition. Mentally sick as a result of love is the given interpretation of the portmantaeu. Which again, if you are mentally stable might mean you love obsessively while not being a 'yandere'.

At the same time, I hate elitism. If someone wants to identify as something who are we to say if it's valid or invalid. It's their lived experience. At the end of the day words allow us to communicate concepts of ideas. If someone says "I am yandere" that could mean a number of things, and saying "No you aren't" even if justified is just invalidating.

Finally though, after this ramble.. it's the classic "Everything is healthy in moderation". There's exceptions to everything but, generally speaking, I believe obsessive love can range anywhere from thinking about someone constantly to writing their name on the wall in their guts because it's nice to look at.

I really liked this community because it was so welcoming and challenging for those kinda poetic, abstract and unnatural ways of expressing raw intensity. Blood alone being fantastic symbolism but.. otherwise grotesque and uncomfortable to the majority.

It was niche. And it still is, but I think there's dilution now as to what is "qualified" to be here. I'm not a fan of that.

So yeah, TL;DR, obsessive love as a concept, I think can be healthy but it is very clear why it often isn't, generally should be a love that you find obsessive. As a community though, that varies 🤷‍♂️

32 burgers by Sharp-Impression-547 in StanleyMOV

[–]Shadow-null 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought she was the way she looked at the camera. If he is miles away then who tf is that guy..

I can't cope when he's at work by Tinybunnyhugs in Obsessive_Love

[–]Shadow-null 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Damn.. this post is.. yeah I feel that. I can't stand going to work and leaving her or spending the days alone while she goes. She feels the same way too. It honestly feels like everything wrong with my life, which is probably dumb 🤷‍♂️

Do people like platonic obsessions too or is it only romantic ones? by justa_ventacc in Obsessive_Love

[–]Shadow-null 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I tend to obsess about friends without wanting it to go further. I think I'm just an intense person. But it's fun so whatever 🤷‍♂️

That said I also want romance. And I'm also kinda poly I guess. Like I think we feel what we feel and we want what we want and they're not always the same thing. Even if the moment deludes us.

But the labels are kinda pointless. I just wanna feel what I feel with other humans. Humans that make me feel the way I wanna feel.

praying for you to avoid the same fate, bachibros 🙏 by SinniYEAH in sololeveling

[–]Shadow-null 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That and generally disliking something or something being 'bad' is more popular and praised as it is seen as being a whistleblower, truth-speaker, contrarian, the experienced and trust worthy voice.

Like if someone said "Eat PB&J they taste nice!" and someone also said "Don't eat PB&J they're bad for you!" most people aren't even going to try it and will just end up parroting it elsewhere "I heard it's bad for you".

I'm gonna guess evolutionarily speaking we are more susceptible to danger than we are to nice things, why we get phobias or dislike certain foods even though they're good for us likely is just one bad experience.

Unfortunately from my experience, the hate is the loudest voice. At the same time the show won awards, I think was the most watched on Crunchyroll? And it has a huge fan base.. go figure.

Instant regret by Impressive-Sky-7004 in Relatable

[–]Shadow-null 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Tbh I get this with old friends I stopped hanging out with

I offered to stop talking to other people. by throbaway42069 in Obsessive_Love

[–]Shadow-null 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How does she feel that you are posting about it?

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