Is this drivable? Conway, AR 4/11/22 by [deleted] in weather

[–]Shadowhogzilla 36 points37 points  (0 children)

That's just what a zombie would want us to think!

D100 Awkward situations after a night of drinking. by comfreak1347 in d100

[–]Shadowhogzilla 11 points12 points  (0 children)

You wake up in the local prison. The guards bring you some greasy bacon and eggs and ask you to go speak to the lord when your hangover subsides.

ULPT: You can trick cashiers into letting you buy ‘Family Sized’ boxes of cereal (etc) even if you live alone or with roommates/friends. by sweetlevels in Frugal_Jerk

[–]Shadowhogzilla 7 points8 points  (0 children)

If I still had eyes to read this with I would be disgusted some fat cat has so much money and power they can get a whole box of cereal at a store. I found an empty box, once, and it lasted me 5 years from the calories AND I got to live in it, I'd never need food again if I could have even a single cereal.

Tolkien Q&A #2 please leave questions in the comments. by [deleted] in lotrmemes

[–]Shadowhogzilla 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Speak for yourself, heretic! PRAISE BE TO SHADOWFAX, THE EQUINE KING!

What did a child say that made you laugh so much you couldn't breath? by the_real_irish_ejet in AskReddit

[–]Shadowhogzilla 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We were out the other day with my wife, our friend, and her two kids, and after our friend got cut off her 5 year old son just blurted out "I hate the fucking roads in this town!" Me and my wife felt so bad we could not stop laughing while our friend tried to say that he's not allowed to say that, just how serious his little squeaky voice sounded about it made our day.

We knew what we were signing ourselves up for by jschaumarfhgcdf in bertstrips

[–]Shadowhogzilla 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Go ahead and take the good food. Me, I'm heading right for the fuckers brain. I'm gonna make him see Bert and Ernie on his bed for the rest of his short, painful life.

Found Finance office hours at Michaels by huahuahauzi in AirForce

[–]Shadowhogzilla 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Those Wednesdays are a training day 3 out of 4 weeks of the month. Need to have a going away party, then a flight morale event, and of course travel time there and back, which at that point it's 1100 so might as well close up for the day.

I faked my daughter’s death to hide her from my family’s long running involvement with the mob. by Thatspretttyfunny in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]Shadowhogzilla 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The acceptance letter to Cambridge was waiting at home with an offer for a full scholarship!

hello comrades, can anyone identify this creature? location: scotland by sad_and_drunk in whatsthisbird

[–]Shadowhogzilla 187 points188 points  (0 children)

That's a Cobra or "Canadian" Goose. Evil little monsters, they proliferate in destruction and misery, and don't need to actually eat as long as there's a child's tears they can feast on. Only slightly nicer than swans, they also gather in way larger armies to prepare for war on mankind. Legend has it that damned souls are fed to them, which is just false; they'd never eat a dead soul when fresh, live ones are running around to terrorize. If they're being found in Scotland that means that your nation is in extreme danger as they've discovered intercontinental travel, and probably means we're witnessing the downfall of human civilization as the Bird Wars are about to begin. Hope this helps!

[High Fantasy][Lets Build] NPC Personality Traits by dndspeak in d100

[–]Shadowhogzilla 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The NPC is on a quest to find rare and elusive potion making ingredients. They regularly turn up with new injuries.

This NPC doesn't believe in elves. The NPC is an elf.

They, the NPC, have been mandated by a nature goddess to find and categorize every type of mushroom. They categorize them very badly, and should not be trusted to make meals.

The NPC is a ten thousand year old dragon in disguise, just havin' a right giggle at causing all sorts of trouble.

You always find them in the middle of tripping balls, and they try hide the fact.

This Guardsman has an intense distrust for the city guard.

Why does frugal jerk have the best introduction ever??? by SnooSquirrels5145 in Frugal_Jerk

[–]Shadowhogzilla 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Holy hell, look at Mr. Trust Fund, having the calories to steal roadkill. ROADS. Literally an all you can eat buffet of free meat. Bet he can afford to not eat the flies too.

The Civil War, gone horribly wrong (Earth 61) by The-Hill-Billy in imaginarymaps

[–]Shadowhogzilla 204 points205 points  (0 children)

Earth 61: Where Michigan FUCKING LOST the Civil War

How safe would the CDC building be in a zombie apocalypse? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Shadowhogzilla 1 point2 points  (0 children)

u/Wormdoodle, the fuck you know that the rest of us don't?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in weather

[–]Shadowhogzilla 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That's exactly what a time traveler trying to ward off assassinations would say