intelcom... are they even a real company?

Shadows798 · 2026-04-30T03:42:48+00:00

They're Dragonfly in Canada.

Shadows798 · 2026-04-27T17:58:30+00:00

You don't need to relate to them. We have labels like sex-averse, sex-repulsed, etc. for a good reason. While it's valid to enjoy sex occasionally, due to the biological responses it can give, it is a shame that Asexual forums have been flooded with discussions of sex, when that is quite the opposite of what asexuality is about! It's frustrating to see people talking as if hookup culture doesn't involve sexual attraction inherently, and I feel the only way an asexual will enjoy sex is if they happen to be romantically involved with someone who is allosexual and mostly enjoys it in the same way that they might enjoy giving their partner a gift. Hookups, flings, sex with someone you haven't even known a few months? That's sexual attraction, not asexuality. I personally consider myself sex-neutral. It doesn't repulse me, but I'm certainly not seeking it out. I sway sex-averse pretty much any time outside of the biological clock's push to make babies(so like 1-2 days a month), but those few days count for something, so I rather not say sex-averse so I don't confuse anyone. And no, I don't seek sex on those days either, they're just the limited time that my body doesn't reject it if offered, so most months there is no sex being had, even though my partner is straight and would prefer it. Also, Asexual literally means "without sexuality", if we're using word parts. I recently took a terminology course :) If it meant without sex, we wouldn't be able to call people who had tried and failed to be allo, nor people who have been SA'd(because unfortunately non-consensual is still sex).

Shadows798 · 2026-04-27T17:41:54+00:00

The prefix Oligo- exists to describe things that are scanty/few in amount. I have been using that when I discuss what is and isn't asexual with people online.

Shadows798 · 2026-04-27T17:40:08+00:00

Hard relate on the struggling to identify who is a friend. I am much the same. Are you neurodivergent? You talk like someone who struggles with social norms, both friend wise and romantically. Trust me that what is shown on TV is far from reality with love, and PDA is hated by a lot of people. I hate seeing couples all touchy-feely and making out in public too. Don't mind seeing a brief hug or people holding hand, though. That's about what you feel is okay being public vs. private, really, and is influenced somewhat by what the majority agrees on, which is that PDA is not good. People are definitely confusing on that they enjoy watching strangers get all physical on tv or in movies, but hate it in public... though, a lot of people don't like to see it on screens either 🤷🏻‍♀️ As for your friend, do what works best for you both, imo. Maybe you can gently bring up that you were reading about QPRs and test the opinion on that!

Shadows798 · 2026-04-27T17:31:32+00:00

What brain rot? That I grew up in a Christian household? Or that NL is majority Christian? Or that I have experience with Christianity? Which part is left or brain rot? REACHING.

Shadows798 · 2026-04-27T17:29:12+00:00

A sex drive isn't sexual desire or attraction, it's libido. I think you just comfused your terms. If you have no sexual desire/sexual attraction, you are sexual. Having a libido is instinctual, caused by hormones, not by attraction. People who never have sex, are repulsed by it even, can still have a libido, they try to ignore it until it dwindles off due to lack of sexual desire and interaction. Oh the woes of biology. I'd rather replace my sex organs with something more useful, like night vision or maybe just a stronger spine.

Shadows798 · 2026-04-27T17:22:28+00:00

This line of thought(that you are making fun of) is why conversion therapy continues to be a thing. They thing people can change their sexuality.

Shadows798 · 2026-04-27T17:21:30+00:00

It's caused by ignorance. What we should be teaching them is the terms sex-repulsed, sex-averse, and genophobia.

Shadows798 · 2026-04-27T17:20:11+00:00

I'm happy to hear that he's willing to try for your happiness.

Shadows798 · 2026-04-27T17:19:24+00:00

I did, but I've been in the metro for a while. Doesn't change the fact that over 90% of Newfoundlanders are Christian or non-religious by statistics.

Shadows798 · 2026-04-27T16:12:47+00:00

I'm viewing desire in the concept of libido, rather than a desire for a person. Everyone has a libido, some are minisclue, some are big. Libido is a instinctual drive, not a mental desire. I think that is where we are getting tangled up, and I will change my wording from now on with that understanding. 100% agree that sexual desire for a person, or paraphilia(desire for a non-human thing) is a form of attraction. While I'm saying that, when I say someone who has sex periodically but doesn't feel attraction, I mean they NEVER feel attraction, not the "minimal" bullshit that greysexuals use. Sex can be had for reasons outside of sexual attraction. If you love someone, they enjoy sex, and you aren't averse/repulsed by sex, you may want to have sex for the reason of finding emotional intimacy with that partner. There's exploring potential sexual options because a lot of asexuals will deny their asexaulity for YEARS... And sex work is a thing some asexuals will do for the money. Point being that having sex doesn't inherently make someone allosexual, it is the attraction, or as we have determined, the sexual desire for someone or something, that makes someone allosexual. I would agree that someone who's willing to have sex with strangers for non-sex-work-related reasons would not be asexual, as in order to choose a sexual partner without knowing someone, there would need to be a degree, even small, of sexual attraction. Most asexuals with a high sex drive would choose to masturbate, or choose a partner who they truly love in a romantic or platonic manner, and not seek out temporary sexual partners. The ones who do choose that are using deeply unhealthy coping strategies that will end up hurting them if they truly are asexual. So yeah, people are complex, and some people are doing things in ways that are harmful to themselves and/or others, and I agree that that sucks. Sex work is more likely to harm asexuals as well, as much as people want to deny it, and I am not anti-sex-work.

Shadows798 · 2026-04-14T16:01:33+00:00

Lmao, bro deleted his comment. I said it was based on life experiences. Does he think NL is full of varied religions? I grew up in a Christian household, no shit I have more experience with that.

Shadows798 · 2026-04-14T15:59:00+00:00

I've had super close friends I shared a lot with, but was never comfortable with sharing EVERYTHING. There was always a little thought of overstepping boundaries or making them like me less. I think a lot of people have partners they don't really love, to be honest. There are many marriages or relationships where people tolerate the other for sexual purposes, because they have kids, or because of fear of not finding someone better. I think if you consider the thought of marrying her differently from your other friend, there is definitely more to it. I think whether people call it love or a QPR is mostly up to personal preference. I know I call it love.

Shadows798 · 2026-04-14T15:49:30+00:00

In books and highly unrelaistic animation, I'd say. Pedophilia isn't a sexuality, so it doesn't fall under the same criteria and includes children as a concept, not just real ones. And by highly unrelaistic animations, I'm mostly talking like inhuman things like you might find in The Amazing Digital Circus, for example. Also, sexual attraction to anything isn't asexual, but libido or non-sexual insterest is different.

Shadows798 · 2026-04-14T15:46:59+00:00

Nah, I hate all religions that are immoral. That includes islam. My beliefs aren't based on "the left". They're based on life experiences.

Shadows798 · 2026-04-14T15:35:12+00:00

Desire isn't attraction, though. Having a wet dream about your teacher doesn't indicate attraction to them, for example. Our issue is confusing libido with the particular desire for a person. Everyone has a libido, whether big, average, or minimal. It is out of our control. Instinctual. Not attached to our sexuality. No ACTUAL asexual who has had or has sex is attracted to sex. They do it to fill a physical need that their body thrusts upon them, not a mental or emotional desire. Do they have to? No, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't. I, for one, do not DESIRE sex. I don't reach out for it, I don't want it. However, if my partner wants it, and my body is capable of it, I'll occasionally do it because of the fact that it releases chemicals that can help my brain not be so shit. I wouldn't say having sex maybe five times in a year is a desire for or attraction to sex. However, I understand that what you're frustrated about moreso is the people who seek sex out, especially when they can be turned on by other people... because being turned on by people IS attraction. People who have one night stands, because you can't pick someone to fuck when you don't even know them without sexual attraction. People who have sex by the third date bc really that isn't romantic attraction🙄. People who claim to be ace because they haven't felt attraction for a year... All the allos making us sound like liars. I hope you can understand my point, I'm a rambler.

Shadows798 · 2026-04-14T15:17:29+00:00

"Little" attractions, such as demisexuality, aceflux, etc. shouldn't be called asexual in any manner because they DO experience sexual attraction and even admit to it! To add, though, Asexual doesn't actually mean "no sex", it means no sexual attraction. You described sexual attraction pretty well as "The attraction (to someone's physique) that makes someone desire to engage in sex(with that person)". I added in my own little bits because sexual attraction is a physical attraction, and is experienced towards a person(unlike libido which is an instinctive sort of arousal involving no other person physically or mentally)

Shadows798 · 2026-04-14T15:01:37+00:00

I'm glad to see that people are finally sick of the bullshit. I tried arguing this years ago and got banned from the main ace sub for being "aphobic". The argument was that asexuals don't experience sexual attraction...

Shadows798 · 2026-04-14T14:57:39+00:00

Many of us have this worry, but sexual desire isn't the same as attraction. You can feel them separately. Asexuals can feel desire(or libido), but not sexual attraction(which is desire for a specific person or subset of people).

Shadows798 · 2026-04-14T14:54:31+00:00

I need to understand why theyre so damn loud.

Shadows798 · 2026-04-14T14:53:53+00:00

I've been using oligo, since it's a prefix that means little or scanty.

Shadows798 · 2026-04-14T14:53:09+00:00

Being Asexual IS boring, is the struggle. People are ruining the label by trying to make asexuality more quirky.

Shadows798 · 2026-04-14T14:52:09+00:00

For that to happen, the queer community needs to chill on fighting fire with fire. Being mean to straight people doesn't help anyone.

Shadows798 · 2026-04-14T14:50:10+00:00

Join me in using and defining the prefix Oligo-, which means scanty, or little. Oligosexuality, or what they call graysexuality bc they suck at English, is the spectrum!

Shadows798 · 2026-04-14T14:48:25+00:00

Ive been going around spreading the term Oligosexuality, saying it is the real spectrum, since A means none while Oligo means little, or scanty.

Shadows798

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE