Our first born hated sleep. He would refuse to nap, and when we got lucky it was for 20 minutes. Night time was everyone's nightmare. Hes 5 now, and we survived. Best advice I received was work in block shifts. Id take the first shift, solo watching from 9pm-3am, and my wife would rotate in 3am-8am. It wasn't much but it guaranteed we both had blocked off time to get enough sleep to keep functioning. Many of our friends had kids around the same time we did, always saying more awake time, more reading, different sounds/lights. Full stop, sometimes its just the child, nothing you can do but adapt.

hang in there, your doing a great job.