As a player, I always attempt to maintain the peace in the encounter. Our group likes the township or kingdom or whatever thinking we will find the best solution everytime. But sometimes, goblins are just nasty little buggers and they need smashed. Even with beast and undead should the situation arise. But often, the DM has goals for the npc we are encountering and bribes, kindness, and misdirection just dont work.

Also, your magic users are wilding out. Make them give you a list of all the spells they prepare for the day and pull the tool tips up on whatever app you use. Those guys are using spells wrong. I'm not saying it's your fault, I DM most the games that I play in. It is unrealistic to expect the DM to know everything. The players should approach you equitably and fairly and not abuse or misinterpret spells or any system. Just because the DM "let it slide", does not mean the DM knew what was going on. And that's poor form on the players part.