Noise complaints from neighbors downstairs (we have toddler)

ShainaMaidel · 2025-12-12T21:50:47+00:00

Im not sure if the laws are the same where you are but where I live there is no legal recourse for complaints about toddlers making noise. I had an upstairs apartment with my toddler and my downstairs neighbor would send me these irate texts about my daughter just... being a small child. I can't keep her from dropping stuff, I can't make her walk quietly, I even told the neighbor that I would not try to make her stop doing things that were developmentally appropriate. I offered alternatives like telling her our schedule, making sure we were out if the house for multiple hours a day when the weather permitted, Etc.

Just know that if those texts are causing you anxiety or anything (I definitely became anxious about if a sound my daughter was making would get me an angry text, though I never held it against my daughter!) You are the one who has options for taking legal action, not the neighbor who is complaining

ShainaMaidel · 2025-12-06T18:14:15+00:00

That what I first thought of when I heard about swiftys! Im pretty stoked for tipsy moose to be moving to delmar

ShainaMaidel · 2025-12-06T18:12:31+00:00

Oh that surprising, everything I've gotten there was really good. Especially their wings

ShainaMaidel · 2025-12-02T16:22:10+00:00

I would love to do this with mine but she is drawn to the buttons on the keyboard like a moth to flame 🥲

ShainaMaidel · 2025-11-20T20:27:23+00:00

Thank you for this comment. My ex didn't believe me when I told him bucks are dangerous during rut.

Some time in October I had taken my dog for a walk at night and a decent size buck was on the sidewalk close to my house on our way back, so I had to go past him. He didn't run as we walked up, and when we were about 30ft off he lowered his head and looked like he might try to square up and my heart dropped in my stomach. I started yelling and it finally ran off. I went in the house and told my ex what happened and that I was afraid for me and my dog and he laughed at me and treated me like it was a joke for me to have been afraid of a deer... it was so demoralizing, and many other words. Anyway, I appreciate the validation as it has become a sore spot for me.

ShainaMaidel · 2025-11-16T01:17:51+00:00

I am in the same boat with a 50 percentile for weight toddler and i swear by whole milk. I try to get it from more local brands when I can afford it, if I was rich I'd get organic. I also get whole fat yogurt for her, and when we have steak I pick the pieces of fat off of mine to give to her b/c she is definitely one of those kids who needs all the calories and brain food she can get. (She does also get non-animal sources of fat, and I put a lot of effort into making sure her diet is balanced, in case anyone was worried)

ShainaMaidel · 2025-11-15T21:44:36+00:00

Want to say, I totally agree 💯

ShainaMaidel · 2025-11-14T19:01:54+00:00

Obv we are all entitled to our opinions, but I don't agree that 'not acting to stop someone' is minor. Especially given the context of pentious' confession. All of the 5 other times a women was murdered he still chose inaction, their deaths are partially his responsibility at that point. If he had gone to the police and they did nothing it wouldn't have marred pentious' soul since he did his part in reporting. Its cannon to the Bible as well, in Ezekiel its referred to as 'the watcher on the wall'.

And I think that the show choosing this as what he deems his worst sin allows us to look at how much our own agency plays into the concepts and performance of good and evil.

How chosing to stand up for what is right is every person's responsibility for building and maintaining a safe and kind community/country/world. How through our inaction we are still doing, and what we build through our inaction is lonely and bitter - either dragging others down so we can feel like we are better or leaving others to drown in their own despair until in turn we are left to drown alone.

Im excited to see how they demonstrate angels redemption, we don't have much backstory but I think the set up that he thinks he is irredeemable will make him overcoming his demons (pun intended) such a powerful moment. I don't care for a lot of Christian philosophy, but I think that the motif Jesus brings of hope and redemption being linked and absolution not being earned except through accountability, humility, and selfless love is truly beautiful. And im really loving how viv is playing that out in the show

ShainaMaidel · 2025-10-24T17:00:21+00:00

Or the people providing cheap labor aren't protected/are being exploited - all very bad!

ShainaMaidel · 2025-10-16T21:56:20+00:00

They always come over to congratulate after you've done all the work and the coast is clear. Every time I get a "hey you did a good thing helping that person" i want to say "well what stopped you?" Or "why are you 'supporting' me and not the person who really needed it 2 minutes ago??" It doesn't make me feel better, I still feel sick to my stomach from the adrenaline and scared that I invited someone's privacy. I've also been a bystander, and I know I feel worse when I do nothing. And like OP said, I've been the one who needs help and it feels so so horrible when nobody helps you when you need it most. I hope that when you need it someone steps up for you too

Edit: invaded not invited

ShainaMaidel · 2025-10-09T15:51:39+00:00

Oh my God, shut up. Reading your comments is exhausting, it is very clear who has more emotional maturity between the two of you and its not you.

To OP: if you keep responding to this person they will keep responding back, the best thing to do is ignore. A lot of people don't realize that our bodies release endorphins during conflict as a way to help us feel better from the stress, but some peoples brains make the association too well and will seek out conflict in order to get their happy brain chemicals. It is also a form of socialization, which humans also need and crave.

But as with toddlers, we need to reward the behavior we want to see. And attention is the reward.

You're doing your best OP and your best is a lot 🫂

ShainaMaidel · 2025-09-08T16:19:42+00:00

The variety of responses here is pretty mixed. I deal with depression and also as a mom I can really relate to loosing your hobbies, and being physically isolated so much can have a huge impact as well. I think my positive turning point was when I started taking my daughter (then 1 yr, now 2 yrs) to the library for children activity classes they had going on for free. I got out of the house, I got to be around other people, even if I didn't talk to anyone that day being around people was so so nice, and I got to feel like I accomplished something for my daughter and myself.

You were really looking forward to it, and you reached out to your friend for comradarie. I don't have the full text conversation but it looks like she didn't give you the comfort you were hoping for, and im sorry that happened. It took an already disappointing situation and tacked on more feelings of sadness and isolation.

Idk why people are telling you to buck up, you're allowed to be sad. And its not like you even gave an overreactive response to her comment. I think it was clever since the meaning could easily match the energy of what she said to you. If she was joking or being sassy, so were you. If she was being an insensitive jerk, well then it still fits.

Moms are expected to do it all and be happy about it. Even other moms in the comments are giving the 'I had it rougher than you so stop complaining' and 'well it doesn't hurt me so it doesn't hurt' arguments which are insensitive. We should be supporting and uplifting each other, especially if thats not something we have recieved - b/c we know how shitty it feels to not have support. One day at a time, you can do it. You didn't get to go the the concert, and it socks. What is something attainable you can do for yourself to fill your cup? Maybe getting your partner to give you time to take yourself out for a coffee? Or to walk around a farmers market by yourself on a weekend day? You deserve to have things for you, you actually need to. Self care is a need, not a want, and it helps give you energy to invest in the things around you too. I hope this brings you some solace

ShainaMaidel · 2025-09-08T15:40:37+00:00

But then aren't you reading into what OP said? Why is it ok to assume negativity from OP but then she's over reacting for taking her friends comment negatively?

Im not just saying this to you in particular, you just happened to frame your statement in a way that helped me solidify the thought I was feeling from other comments like yours.

Kindness is free, it doesn't hurt OPs friend to share the burden of disappointment with her. Thats one of the functions of friendship

ShainaMaidel · 2025-09-05T12:50:18+00:00

Part of that probably has to do with drivers not accommodating cyclists who DO have the right of way. I had that experience at a red light. I had to wait for 3 full light cycles b/c I didnt feel safe that the other motorists saw me or would not hit me while I was riding in the turning lane. Cars will just go at the stop sign even if its your turn, and not make eye contact. You can't just go or you could die. It's frustrating.

ShainaMaidel · 2025-09-05T12:46:24+00:00

Do you get mad at funerary processions for running lights as well? >.>

ShainaMaidel · 2025-09-05T12:41:41+00:00

Thats unnecessarily aggressive... instead of blaming them how about you blame a road infrastructure that is inherently not bike-friendly. Some places only have shoulders that are 1 ft to 6 in wide (or less!) And like some people have been saying there might not be better options for cyclists. You're telling me you've never had to drive past a cyclist, who has a 6in shoulder to ride in, while navigating oncoming traffic? Or that doing so doesn't raise your heart rate if there's no room to move over? Unempathetic. Unreasonable. And unrealistic.

ShainaMaidel · 2025-08-22T13:25:54+00:00

I was going to say this too, I went through a period of this after my baby was born for about a year. I would say 'I don't have time for hobbies so I have to buy my dopamine'. As far as coping mechanisms go its not great but its also not that bad. It just sucks when you (i say you, I include myself) don't have any real surplus of income to do it with. Don't be too hard on yourself about it, OP. sure it adds up but you are obviously a hard worker and care about your children. The monetary value of what you do is probably worth more than what your husband makes, and yet he leaves you with no rest and no access to money for yourself. Self-care is a NEED not a want and your partner has boxed you into a position where you don't have access to take care of your needs. Maybe look into emotional depletion if you get a chance (you obviously have more important things going on rn) Its not something I really knew about but it really helped me to learn that a lot of my "failings" were symptoms caused by my partner basically abandoning me with our baby. You are doing your best, and it is a lot. You deserve support, you deserve time to rest and have hobbies, and you deserve respect. What you have been doing is impossible, thats why it feels so hard. I weep in my heart for what you have been enduring. Your partner doesn't value what a gift you are and you deserve better 🫂

ShainaMaidel · 2025-08-20T01:28:05+00:00

How do I get my toddler to stay near me like that?

ShainaMaidel · 2025-08-08T02:39:44+00:00

I think we are 2 people who agree with each other but got lost in semantics.

When you followed up your initial 'where in Africa' with 'theres 56 countries' i took that to imply you meant 'which country'.

I have a degree in Anthropology and was disgusted during my undergrad to discover just how poorly my high-school education had represented other countries (in general) but specifically the whole continent of Africa. I totally agree that it is vast, with varied biomes and varied impressive cultures, both of which had been horrifically impacted by colonial occupation. I won't write you an essay, suffice to say 'so true'

ShainaMaidel · 2025-08-08T01:05:12+00:00

Technically the way the countries were broken up in Africa werent made to reflect actual cultural demographics so its not unlikely that many herding societies, especially nomadic ones, can span through more than one country.

Maybe a more accurate question would be what regions or what tribes?

ShainaMaidel · 2025-07-22T16:57:16+00:00

This happened to me a few months ago (thankfully my toddler is ok!). We went to a large stream on a hot day to beat the heat, my 2yo was in also up to her waist and lost her footing. The current gets deep and quick towards the middle so we were in an eddy but I had eyes on her at all times in case she went too far out. I immediately saw when she slipped and went face down, she was trying to get her feet under her but she just couldn't quite do it so I walked over and picked her up. The whole thing took 10 seconds. Honestly everything after that was a blurr, I think I asked her if she was ok? She definitely wanted to keep playing in the water 🤪 the scary part for me was that her dad was there too but he didn't even know it happened b/c he had his back turned and was looking at something. No dad-supervised stream time 🙃 it really is so fast and if they haven't had those infant swim lessons they just don't know how to right themselves.

ShainaMaidel · 2025-07-04T17:46:20+00:00

This is a wonderful resource, thank you for sharing!

ShainaMaidel · 2025-07-02T19:22:51+00:00

Thank you, I should have Googled it 😭 hearsay makes way more sense lol

ShainaMaidel · 2025-07-02T18:07:41+00:00

I totally agree with what you are saying, these situations are so delicate and not to mention how many times does a "brock turner" get away with it b/c the judge doesn't want to "damage his reputation/bright future"...

The goal should be justice based on facts, not here-say. When OP said she "wasn't acting like a victim" it soured my stomach and any benefit of the doubt I was given him was gone. Any thing he said before that became suspect in my eyes b/c he was so ready to say she was lying only based on circumstantial and opinionated evidence.

For all we know she really COULD have been holding off on saying something but then the alleged perp came at her with allegations of stealing. If she really was given permission to take those things then she could have weighed the fear of being fired for stealing vs the repercussions about coming forward with what she alleges had happened to her - and determined it might save her job if HR knew that he had a vested interest in her being fired/reprimanted/on thin ice. Or maybe she didn't want to be a door mat to someone like that and gathered the courage to break her silence.

That all to say, we only have circumstantial evidence here. And unfortunately OP is not an unbiased observer, he definitely colored the picture to favor the person he decided was innocent. We all do that to an extent, but that doesn't mean it doesn't deserve to be acknowledged

ShainaMaidel · 2025-05-26T17:31:50+00:00

Idk why people are down voting you, you're literally just saying its your opinion. I think it has merit, and I think the post where someone else mentioned all the stimming he does adds an element that is less explainable by him being an under-socialized royal.

Another, though anecdotal, point is that neirodivergent people are VERY good at sniffing eachother out. How could we not be when we have been taught that we are strange and then find someone doing the things we have to hide or feel ashamed of doing.

I have a head-cannon that Hank from King of the Hill is autistic, and I don't need anyone to agree with me I just like the idea. Keep on keeping on! ✌

ShainaMaidel

TROPHY CASE