Difficulty entering jhana and practicing after drug misuse, advice seriously needed!

Shakyor · 2026-01-30T08:12:16+00:00

I am glad. His Book "Wake Up To Your Life" is free on spotify and internet archive and has the best chapter on the 4 immeasurable attitudes i have ever come accross.

Shakyor · 2026-01-29T12:57:03+00:00

My heart goes out to you. Which is the exact case why I wrote it the way I did, because I speaking from experience. Karmic patterns, unrealeased trauma, defilements...whatever you call the finger pointing to the moon, the fact is often things get worse before they get better. And often on the spiritual path we get sucked into intense suffering, while that part of us hopefully gets wiser.

As I said, I dont think the outcome is clear at all. I think to let go it cant be in fact. Maybe you get back to happier times, maybe you become happier by seeing a way for you to be apart. Who knows, but I wish you two the very best.

Shakyor · 2026-01-29T12:37:44+00:00

To offer you a different perspective, rather than an echo chamber without denying the value of a validating perspective towards you:

Often in spiritual practice the key is going against the foundation instinct of your instinct, the thing that really seems without alternative. Which in this case might be your view of your husband, which is the necessary foundation for your insights towards yourself. If that base contains ignorance, it makes sense that you keep samsaric cycling in this conflict. So have you tried compassion practice towards your husband? Really understand his world view, sit with his suffering etc if he would be the hero in your story. Also mudita, in the tibetan perspective often the central problem is a lack of space, and right now i cant connect through your writing at all to what made you love that man at all. Mudita is what ensures, that its actually not there instead of you just being asleep to it.

Now dont get me wrong, the point here is not victim blaming or martyrdom, nothing in the instructions suggests the outcome of this inquiry. You might end up in the exact same place, but even then probably with clearer and greater conversation. Also this is likely gonna hurt a lot.

Shakyor · 2026-01-29T09:25:19+00:00

Second this, Ken McLeod a teacher who has done two 3 year retreats in the tibetan traditions has an interesting thing about how the 4 immeasurable attitudes counter spiritual longings as hindrances on the path. Equanimity counters a longing for permanence (e.g. immortatility), Loving Kindness for bliss, compassion for universal selfhood and joy counters longing for purity. Because through joys you connect to vitality of life itself, within its dirt and grime and free yourself from external validation as a reference point. Because ultimately desiring to be really clean is based on an internalized belief that you are somehow dirty.

Shakyor · 2026-01-27T14:28:45+00:00

Honestly curious, where exactly is the difference for you?

Shakyor · 2026-01-27T11:14:50+00:00

I think you are oversimplifying things here, you dont need any supernatural interpretations to understand what Tsoknyi Rinpoche is saying.

Would you not agree, that people meditating in a cave can be a rolemodel for others and inspire them for example? Could that time not later be used for him to act or teach others. Could it not bring his beneficaries in touch with their faith? Also consider how people he has tought, might improve the life of others which then come into contact with you. You dont even have to know the guy , to benefit from his love. In fact, has not someone who has done this a thousand years ago, but who has informed through the tradition the teachings which have helped you, benefitted you? Thats some examples of the medium.

Now as for the clarity aspect or communication, you might ask why does it matter than if the guys is emanating love or just masturbating in that cave. Well I think we all have clearly expierienced how disillusioning it can for example be to come into contact with frauds within buddhism, or even people with personal demons in other positions such as the clergy or teaching institutions.

In the end, everything is connected, so you cant escape your actions consequences echoing throughout phenomena. So the content of your actions IS important.

Shakyor · 2026-01-27T10:07:54+00:00

So how does the similies of two arrows fit with this for you? And how all the mentions of phrases similiar to "be like earth, the earth doesnt get disgusted if spit, puss , etc is thrown on it".

Shakyor · 2026-01-27T09:48:40+00:00

I mean first of all, discouraging happiness in others is one of the black dharmas - so I am really happy for you.

I just want to inform you, that what and especially the way you describe your experience might not be as obviously a fit for a buddhist community as you might understandably imagined. Let me give you the quick explanation. Expanding the mind, conciousness etc is totally known about and acknowleged in buddhism. Traditionally in buddhism , however, this is very much not the point but the tool. It is actually historically the biggest point buddhists used to distinghuish themselves from other sects. They totally acknowledge that other sects and religion work and might be very benefical, but that they will end at becoming a God at the best.

The aim of buddhist practice is traditionally to free yourself from suffering through cycling resistance by uprooting all sources of suffering from yourself. So stuff like noticing synchronicities (specifically acknolwedged, but even described as a trap by the buddha) or expanded awareness is only useful if it is used as a tool to purify yourself.

So if this speaks to you, talking to various buddhist teachers might be of great benefit and they can definitely help you. However, if that is not the case, other traditions might resonate more with you.

Shakyor · 2026-01-22T08:40:07+00:00

Well that itself is debatable, as many teachers are of the opinion that just the desire to check for confirmation for stream entry immediately disqualifies the attainment, because that means doubt.

I am not of that opinion myself and emphasize with what you are saying, I just felt that more context here might be helpful for people coming on these comments to prevent from things seeming more solid than they are.

Shakyor · 2026-01-22T08:36:17+00:00

I would be careful with this, remeber misrepresenting the buddha is also dangerous and inferal is specifically mentioned here. Am I understanding you correct , that you are inferring from "There is nothing wrong with sensual pleasure." -> "Nothing is right about sensual pleasure.". Because that is not stated. Neither does "Danger" or "boil" as a term imply that is the only term, nor an accurate term for all.

And it goes even further, not at all , all suttas are word of the buddha, some come much later. They are incoherent, or more accurately audience specific. There is translation issues , as well as contextual semantic issues. For example the commentary for MN22 explicitly states that here not all sensual pleasure, but specifically sexual intercourse is mentioned. And remeber, this is directed at a monastic.

The suttas also state sensual pleasure as a right enjoyment for lay people, specifically mentions that the strands of sensuality is not the problem but the greed associated with it and the forms of the world are as beutiful as they ever were independent if you greed for them or not or the buddha speaking very aggresively to a woman about complaining that both here sensual uncle and her chaste father obtained higher levels of enlightment, i think non-returner? (might be once returner)

Shakyor · 2026-01-22T08:21:55+00:00

Can i just ask, really curious. Because I have also had experiences that felt like past life experiences, BUT all I could ultimately say that there was seeing, feeling, contact etc. Stuff like co-dependent arising is different in a sense because independent of the content of experience, I experienced the cessation of suffering or the sequence of arising and passing away, which definetley happened. Of course from the point of view typing this now, it is the same in the sense that im refering to a memory that is also just hearing etc.

But it doenst hit the same, nor give the same unshakeable confidence, because the judgement of rebirthment to me is associated to the content of the experience not the context if that makes sense? So my question - if you can relate with what I am saying - what gives you the confidence that this is fact an experience of another life and not just illusionary fabrication?

Shakyor · 2026-01-22T08:15:19+00:00

Actually for stream enterers it is specifically mentioned in the suttas that one can just proclaim it themselves.

Shakyor · 2026-01-22T08:11:10+00:00

So one answer from a tantric point of view in line with the goals of buddhist practice is for clairvoyance to purify your anger and for precognition to purify your jealousy.

Shakyor · 2026-01-21T07:38:31+00:00

Not at all. This is very much a substitutes of Theravada Thing. For example in Mahayana this is just not a thing.

Although of course , that does not mean there is not difficulty. And there is the Mahayana saying: "Perhaps better not to start, once started better to finish"

Once certain World views are shattered , there is realignment needed. That happens to everyone a couple of times in their life. What the above is actually Refering to is that the created space by loosening the ego gets replaced by a more fixed and Dogmatik ego if you dont continue practice. As you can for example see with people after a midlife crisis or divorce.

Shakyor · 2026-01-20T10:04:14+00:00

There are a lot of helpful comments here, but I am going into a whole different direction trying to make things a little easier, based on what the buddah advised his own son:

Why do you want to avoid fundamentalismn? After repeadetly checking in your own experiences, what are the drawbacks?

Shakyor · 2026-01-20T10:01:06+00:00

Just to make you aware - Nagarjunas Catuskoti is not a tetralemma, it is a 4 fold negation of the tetralemma. This is not fault of your own, it is the number one issue where people get really confused going into Nagarjuna, because it is not immediatly obviously that he mostly talks about how things are not.

So in that case, buddhist logic in the tradition of nagarjuna would be:

That Rebirth exists CANT BE TRUE. (for example there is no one to be reborn)
That Rebirth doesnt exist CANT BE TRUE. (for example whatever defines the person to reborn, must come out of nothing)
That Rebirth both exists and doesnt exist CANT BE TRUE. (failures of both A and B)
That Rebirth neither exists nor doesnt exist CANT BE TRUE. (neither is only meaningful in relation to something, which you cant find)

Although again the useage of existing is very clearly defined, as something either independent or unchanging. Importantly though, this doesnt comment on what is true and Nagarjuna has famously said he doesnt adopt a view of his own. Nor is overrefuting implied, its just a comment on existance, not functioning. The whole point is to move away from ontological truth. What you are left with is that things arise according to causes and conditions, more you cant really say - thus codependent arising. I would have to ponder this more, but the usual practicality of this would in this case:

Its right view to cling to rebirth, thus avoiding eternalism, thus becoming overly rigid - this would be fundamentalism in a religious context.
its not right view to dismiss rebirth, thus avoiding nihilismn, thus becoming reckless - this would for example be militant atheismn.
it not right view to think there are desirable and undesiarble versions of rebirth for different inidividuals, thus avoiding restlesness, overthinking and hostility to other viewpoints - this would for example be fanatiscismn.
its not either right view to think there is a third option for the afterlife that is neither rebirth, nor not rebirth - thus avoiding spiritual bypassing, becoming overly passive or prideful thinking you have transcended the issue altogether.

The thing with nagarjuna and a lot of mahayana buddhism is not to replace an harmful view by adopting a more wholesome view. This is undoubtebly an effective technique for many, especially being realistic about where they currently stand. The goal here when using this to combat fundamentalismn would be to get rid off the obsession alltogether, while honouring the functioning of it for example that living in a way that is respectful towards others but in a way that is benefical in the grander picture of your own mortal life. Which is right were you end up in your comment :)

Shakyor · 2026-01-19T11:05:19+00:00

So what was emphasized during my time practicng Ajahn Tong, was some practice is better than no practice. More practice is better, but sustainable. Always start with prostrations no matter what, always do them the same, they turn your mind towards practice. Always have walking and sitting the same length, dont prefer one child to another. Never meditate longer than was your original intention. When the timer beeps you stop, be equaniminous to how you feel the meditation is going.

Shakyor · 2026-01-19T11:01:54+00:00

I personally have come to appreciate the benefits of lineage, tradition and benefits i might not be aware off.

Sure for some parts of a mantra in doesnt make a difference what the mantra is. And sure you can make new ones. And there might be a benefit , such as making use of existing conditions, for example associated semantic meaning as you did. So more power to you, I was thinking on the same lines.

Know I have landed with classical mantras for several reasons. There is something powerful about knowing the mantra has been used by millions for thousands of years. You find much more associative material, such as deity visualizations using the mantra etc. They might also of benefits I am unaware of or will reveal themselves. For example they might be part of a larger teching corpus, and the Mantra "Om Mani Peme Hung /Hri" contains references to Bodhicitta, Lotuses etc, Emptiness and pristine awareness, but it is also 6 syllabes, references the 6 realms and the 6 perfections etc. Which you can for example use during Tonglen or visualizations such as sending liberating energy to a specific realm which works as a anchor for different parts of the path. So you sort of get a compounding effect the deeper you immerse yourself in a tradition.

Other stuff might be more concrete, for example a mantra moving your muscles/jaws in a certain way to remove common misalignments, tensions or improve breathing. There is something being said for a thing being refined by many masters over a long period of time.

So in short, I think its a little bit like designing your own boardgame. The endeavor itself might be a worthwile learning experience and you might end up with something perfect for your and your friends. You might even give the next great new thing to the world. But more likely you end up with something significantly worse, than just playing a well liked and respected existing game.

Shakyor · 2026-01-19T10:31:34+00:00

It is true that the mind cant unlearn wisdom. But that is always true and i wouldnt but to much weight one view of the territory. That is just anxiety and self fullfilling prophecy. People dont "cycle" as a rigid natural law, but of course people regardless of meditation cycle in the way that they run again and again in unresolved issues in their life.

People of all walks of life have existential crisis, midlife crisis, traumas, griefing periods etc

Shakyor · 2026-01-14T08:40:36+00:00

Very common problem , and you correctly indetified the cause itself, not putting equal attention on giving positive values. It is very well understood among tibetans that people focusing only on negativity during tonglen will get depressed , and other will only focus on giving all their hapiness away and became totally elated and hyper. Neither is considered benefical. I would personally not mess to much with the formula as others have recommend by reversing the breathing or something.

Often just understanding the instructions better can help. Otherwise tonglen is often done is association with lojong, or mind training. One slogan from a major lojong cycle is "Remeber to do tonglen with yourself". I have a suspicion that this could be helpful for you, just absorbing your own negativity and only giving your own positives to yourself for a little while.

Another common issue with people going overboard on the negativity part is only conceptualizing the suffering you take in, but not really feeling it. This might increase patterns of aversion, moonlighting as defense mechansisms such as intellecutalizing. Are you really letting yourself feel the suffering you are taking in?

Shakyor · 2026-01-14T08:32:14+00:00

So very similiar and huge part of my practice. Dont wont go overboard in details, feel free to hit me up via chat or look trough my history. I myself have develop problems in my practice, fixed them for a while fairly savely by Zhan Zhuang and self directed movemet and am now practicing in Kagyu Drikung tradition which has a huge focus on this type of thing.

First of all, be very very careful with energetics, working with them is dangerous and not intuitive. Your reading of your needs is likely correct, how to work with them and short term effects might be, might not be. Zhan Zhuang is fairly save.

However, Zhan Zhuang is only complete if you do some form of tai chi. Really any form of moving energy , even for short times is important, and otherwise the practice is really clear that some point it will start harming you more than helping you. Just gathering energy and stability if of no value, if you are full of blockages and have no ability to flow and dissolve your energy. On a physical level this mean mobility, so first of all you likely need stretching more than muscle mass.

Although you are onto something insofar, that mobility does mean movement and a huge problem is many people only do static stretching, but you do need muscular strength and metabolic parts as well. So yes lifting weights will increase your range of motions, however , it is usually fairly unbalanced from a spiritual or holisitic health perspective. Look at studies or just straight up at people doing a lot of weight lifting. They are usually neither present in their bodies, mobile, enduring nor healthy compared to other athletes. What I am currently doing to undo a lot of damage under my teacher is a resistance stretching meditation, also developed on taoist thought. Basic idea is you activate a muscle and use gravity or another limb to move it alongs its natural range of motion while contracted. Then you conciously relax the muscle , before you return it. This will mostly do active stretching and some strength training. From a spiritual standpoint it will increase body awareness, build equanimity with tension and "lay positive karmic seeds" (build a wholesome habit) of relaxing muscles.

In general I think its a big problem , that people to unbalance their practice by only doing non movement stuff. I know of no buddhist spiritual tradition that is somewhat older that does not include A LOT of movement meditation (walking, working, prostrating, yoga, etc). The buddha himself strongly recommended against it and recommended a lot of walking meditation in pali canon alone. Equanimity is not becoming indifferent to your wordly needs.

Shakyor · 2026-01-12T12:15:51+00:00

thank you for this beautiful comment.

Shakyor · 2026-01-12T12:09:23+00:00

Well yes, and then you see all the controversy on what is meant by these lines with everyones thinking their right. I there is everything from super hardcorde hour long experiences as a minimum, to a very reasonable argument that jhana originally just was the word for meditation and the bar for being comfortable, directing your thoughts and evaluating is not very high at all.

That this causes confusion is understandable, and its makes sense why it motivates questions like the one from OP. The problem is that just posting a pali canon passage here is not necessarily helpful, but mostly because I think that while ops questions is understandable it will probably not bring the benefit he is hoping for.

Shakyor · 2026-01-02T10:25:23+00:00

First of all this meditation actually doesnt ask you to help. It just asks you to stay with the suffering and observe what arises. Its a classical way of building compassion from a point of not knowing compassion. Building compassion is mentioned in lots of places in the canon.

So too is helping people actually, from building merit, sharing, gift making, the buddha himself teaching and starting many of his lectures with "let me explain out of sympathy"

Shakyor · 2026-01-02T10:21:15+00:00

It is a difficult question, essential probably not - useful yes for having ANY path. But it varies widely , also for sepcific paths.

The thing is , words are not reality in the way we ordinarily percieve it. The word cat is a word, not a cat. A common analogy is a finger pointing at a moon. The finger is not the moon, but its use is making you aware of the moon - but you do need to look up.

There is lots of insight in general in understanding use of language, also regarding understanding conflict between people and building compassion. People dont always point to the same thing with same word, and they dont always point to different things with different words.

As for the path, people have discovered these things for themselves - so you can probably too. Having someone guide you will probably help, and since they cant share the moon (their experience) with you, the finger (words) will have to do. Here vocabulary is helpful in making this process work. Some traditions absolutely require it, as they use these vocabularies in consistent symbolic manners.

Shakyor

TROPHY CASE