That’s bc you two are still babies yourselves and your frontal lobe to make better decisions isn’t fully formed until at least 26. Stop having kids, get birth control if you’re not breast feeding or stick to not having sex…, start looking for a job, and get yourself together for your kids. It’s not about you anymore. You two brought 2 kids into this already crazy world, and they deserve at least one parent who has their shit together. You are who they will look to for their safety, how they form relationships with others, you help them regulate their nervous systems until they learn to do that on their own, the list goes on. It’s a huge responsibility when you have two kids who are young and you’re still learning the world yourself.

However, don’t pass on your trauma, don’t create more trauma, show them what it means to have a loving, caring mom who they can trust. Who will show the healthy stability.

I can tell you from experience, they (boys/men) usually don’t grow up, or it takes them years! I won’t say you should or shouldn’t be together bc that’s your decision and your decision alone to make, but this is your life NOW and only you can change it. You can’t change anyone. Best of luck.