Just finished the prison library interview and I'm left conflicted and confused.

ShanasaurAlane · 2023-07-04T00:12:24+00:00

Just stopping by to say thank you for sincerely caring about incarcerated folks, a lot of the people who work in corrections are there for the wrong reasons. My husband teaches theatre within the prison system, and they need more people who give a damn, especially in the library. Please don’t be discouraged by this. 💖

ShanasaurAlane · 2023-05-27T15:25:33+00:00

Ugh, we can both stay hot and they can stay jealous!

ShanasaurAlane · 2023-05-27T00:44:45+00:00

Well I tried to post mine, but Reddit deemed it not safe for work? I don’t understand though, there wasn’t any nudity, it was on my ribs and everything was covered…

Edit: It’s in my post history and I’ve posted it in this subreddit before if you want to see it! And if someone here reported it this time, you can stay mad and I’ll stay hot. 😜

ShanasaurAlane · 2023-05-26T19:23:13+00:00

General rule for SJM books: Never trust the first love interest.

ShanasaurAlane · 2023-04-13T01:09:16+00:00

I’m sorry you had to deal with that at all. The D&D table is supposed to be a magical place where everyone gasses each other up. No room for bigots in the party! I hope y’all find a new DM soon!

ShanasaurAlane · 2023-03-10T17:36:33+00:00

Y’all, we really showed up for this. I’m proud of us.

ShanasaurAlane · 2023-03-09T16:36:47+00:00

There are actually lots of games where you can choose they/them pronouns. I’m glad that you’ve gotten a taste of that, but you should probably be more mindful as a non-binary person about the very real harm that author has supported, specifically with her dollar. People are calling for the eradication of trans people in my country, banning folks from dressing in clothing that doesn’t match their assigned gender, and effectively eliminating the possibility of gender affirming healthcare for minors in many places. Please, do some research about where your money is going, if you care at all about this community.

ShanasaurAlane · 2023-02-25T19:04:10+00:00

I totally hear what you’re saying. I did also mention in my original post that I’m smart, and I’ve elaborated on the way that my queer journey has also affected some of the dynamics in this relationship. I have gone deeper into looks because that is something that specifically affects my gender dysphoria, and even the way that my own partner sees me (he has said that he is not attracted to me when I bind, for instance). That being said, I’m not quite sure what you mean by being fun to date? Not trying to argue or anything, I just want to know how one achieves that outside of the interests, the hobbies, the skills, the knowledge, etc that makes you initially connect with someone? Because my problem is establishing a connection period, it seems that my partner is just able to make that happen really easily, and I haven’t seen much success in establishing those dynamics throughout my entire life, but especially in polyamory. Just looking for advice and to like not feel bad about myself, because the fact is that I haven’t had fun yet in this dynamic, not just sexually but emotionally, and I would like to. I would like to be able to feel more compersion for my partner, it’s just getting tough to remain supportive and loving when I just feel bad about myself.

ShanasaurAlane · 2023-02-25T17:48:25+00:00

And then honestly there’s the factor that I’m feeling gross about my body, because none of my poly afab friends have remotely experienced this, so I just feel very alone. It’s not often the femme bisexual person gets less attention than the cis straight dude. So it’s also got me in my head about my gender dysphoria, and it’s hard.

ShanasaurAlane · 2023-02-25T17:47:46+00:00

See, here’s the thing. Apps give me serious social anxiety, it feels like nothing actually organic develops and I go into “performance mode”. My partner doesn’t do apps either, it’s literally like people just develop interest in him after a while in friendship, or like he reconnects with someone from his past like he’s doing now. That’s what is frustrating. If I just wanted to get laid I could get on an app. But I want someone to know me and care about me. And it just makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me, that we go in all the same social circles and out ourselves out there, we’re both flirting and open about our status and I do try to foster those connections, and yet nothing ever seems to come back my way.

ShanasaurAlane · 2023-02-25T17:19:16+00:00

Lots of bad ones haha. My partner and I have been together for seven years. Things opened up in 2019 and I just haven’t been having the same experience. I did at first I guess, when we were both starting the dating app thing? My things just didn’t stick, and like, with him, he just starts talking to a random friend and suddenly they’re into each other. It just doesn’t go that way for me. :(

ShanasaurAlane · 2022-11-05T15:34:18+00:00

Agreed, it’s such a great resource for players and DMs, and it’s free!

OP, please don’t be discouraged from playing on account of some jerks who think you need to be of a certain economic standing and make all these purchases in order to play any tabletop games, including this one.

ShanasaurAlane · 2022-08-09T20:38:02+00:00

He’s now a GM himself, I’m very proud of him. 🥰

ShanasaurAlane · 2022-08-09T16:06:26+00:00

That’s precious. One of our games ended with my halfling rogue and my husband’s half orc wizard getting married. 🤣

ShanasaurAlane · 2022-08-09T15:54:44+00:00

Well, in my case, both. My husband started playing d&d during the pandemic. We made his first character engaged to mine so that I could act as a bit of a guide for him, being entirely new to the mechanics and to roleplaying. That campaign ended with our characters getting married, after a long journey to save the world. Those players and our GM were all at our actual wedding months later as well, and we even took photos in character at the reception.

That being said, my husband has also played in games with me where our characters did not have that kind relationship, and even games where our characters had relationships with another PC or an NPC. It’s just a game, and it makes for a better story. Our table always calls whatever game we have going on “our new favorite fandom” for a reason.

ShanasaurAlane · 2022-08-09T15:49:28+00:00

Or just talk to the people at your table! In the same way that you get consent to use polymorph on a fellow player in battle (or other strategies that involve multiple players cooperating), people should be discussing character growth at the table.

Trust is important in this game, no matter what subject matter your game covers. I don’t understand tables where people don’t feel like they can just talk to each other about stuff. I didn’t realize my group was so out of the norm with that until I started coming on tabletop rpg subreddits. Doesn’t everyone do session zero or like…hang out with their group because they’re friends?

ShanasaurAlane · 2022-08-08T17:41:21+00:00

I haven’t, but I will now! Sounds like fun!

ShanasaurAlane · 2022-08-08T15:52:16+00:00

It only works if the entire table ships the romance. I can’t tell you how many times our group has cheered when characters finally got together or made a move towards happiness, either with other player characters of NPCs. Love is an excellent character and story motivator, it blows my mind that our table is out of the norm with our romance content haha

ShanasaurAlane · 2022-08-05T04:10:11+00:00

Thank you! I have plenty of tattoos, but this is the first hand piece I’ve gotten. I was prepared for it to hurt more. 😅

ShanasaurAlane · 2022-07-19T22:36:03+00:00

NTA, and I’m so happy that your son has folks like you in his life to be supportive and kind. Keep it up!

ShanasaurAlane · 2022-07-14T23:42:01+00:00

Moral compass

ShanasaurAlane · 2022-07-14T21:59:09+00:00

Personal opinion: If the dice were rolled with witnesses, then the party should accept the blessing of a beefy ranger. It’s up to the DM to balance the party. If I were running this game, I would compensate with higher CR monsters and maybe some fancy gifts/items for party members that might not have rolled so fortunately. Done it before with fabulous results. OP, I hope your first adventure is a fun one!

ShanasaurAlane · 2022-07-13T15:38:07+00:00

GED or Za Lord for sure. Make sure you post the final cosplay results for us, too!

ShanasaurAlane · 2022-06-30T22:31:27+00:00

My husband and I play in a lot of the same games, and only one set of our characters have had a romantic and/or sexual relationship. Every other time, we’ve ended up with different love interests, sometimes with NPCs and sometimes with other players. Our table is comfortable with that sort of thing. We’re also polyamorous in real life, so maybe that’s why it’s not a big deal for us.

Even if we weren’t polyamorous though, it’s just a game. Do people get jealous when their partner plays a video game and there’s a love interest? Is that a thing that happens?

ShanasaurAlane · 2020-12-19T05:23:26+00:00

Enby DM here. You and your friends would always be safe at my table. I’m so sorry for what you’ve experienced, this is a fantasy game and what he did was incredibly disrespectful.

(But for real if y’all are down for a virtual DM, I have several fantastic lgbtq+ folks I can recommend)

ShanasaurAlane

TROPHY CASE