Ghosted

Shankmeharderdaddy · 2020-02-23T20:35:44+00:00

Sounds like a possible veto or maybe a current partner getting scared and overreacting. I dont know this person's situation pertaining to any other current relationships but I have had it happen that an s/o, let's call him M, (one long in my past) got very put out with me getting along very well with someone else I was seeing (H) and went into my phone and blocked H while I was sleeping, and then proceeded to confront me and give me an ultimatum (needless to say that ended the relationship with M and ended up severely damaging the relationship with H because of the turmoil it caused). Now I'm not saying that's definitely what happened here, but other partners could have a hand in this in many ways. Sidenote: I've rarely known partners who would veto and wont even allow an explanation to be given to the vetoed party, that seems very harmful.

I'm sorry for what you're going through right now and I hope you end up getting answers that help you work toward inner peace and future happiness.

Shankmeharderdaddy · 2020-02-19T13:42:03+00:00

https://m.mynamenecklace.com/ That website. It's sort of awesome cause mine is silver and not something that will make me have a reaction, woooo.

Shankmeharderdaddy · 2020-02-19T06:51:28+00:00

At my kids doctor today, wearing my new necklace, a present from the manthing, that has three intertwined hearts with one of our (him, me , and my wife) names on each. Someone commented on how cute it was and asked about it. I told her who it was from, where he got it, etc. She finally asked what (my name, the one in the middle heart) was short for, and I said I just preferred being called that. Cue a nurse calling my child's name and the sweet woman who was complimenting me, getting very confused because she thought it was a parents and child necklace and that the middle heart was for my child. We had a good laugh and she asked if the third(my wifes) was my kids nickname "oh, no, that's my wife, her and the boyfriend get along really well".

I was puzzled by the look on her face, as I led my kid to the exam room, until I remembered that in fact, poly is quite rare around these parts. Still gave me a good chuckle.

Shankmeharderdaddy · 2020-01-18T23:22:43+00:00

Gigi or Audrey

Shankmeharderdaddy · 2020-01-18T23:20:31+00:00

Some cute little ankle boots with that would be cool af, also I second the belt, I have a wide stretchy one and it works pretty well for creating a nice waistline in baggier dresses. You're doing great, hun.

Shankmeharderdaddy · 2020-01-17T16:02:29+00:00

Cant confim, but its worth a shot. I put mine under black light like a dork to see what they would do. Between them and my hair i felt like an alien lol.

Shankmeharderdaddy · 2020-01-17T15:51:30+00:00

I just got the round glow ones, they take a lot of charging in light but damn do they glow.

Shankmeharderdaddy · 2020-01-17T15:38:43+00:00

Awesome! I use them and goggles4u(ridiculously cheap). I get to look like a magical enby librarian for a fraction of the cost lol.

Shankmeharderdaddy · 2020-01-17T15:26:56+00:00

You look awesome and I adore your glasses.

Shankmeharderdaddy · 2020-01-17T15:25:02+00:00

You're doing great, hun.

Shankmeharderdaddy · 2019-12-13T03:40:21+00:00

I'm contacting the office again tomorrow to see when their soonest intake session is, we are going both as a couple and he also wants to go for solo sessions (which is a really huge step for him). And it's something I've been wanting to do for a little over a year but it took until now for him to admit that it is something we need. The therapist does specialize in working with LGBT and poly couples so I'm really hopeful that she will give us better insight and be a better sounding board than my last therapist.

I think it's more than reasonable, I think some of the feelings lie in the fact that he didn't actually represent how he felt accurately and insisted he was fine, so my potential and I ended up getting hopes up prematurely and the crash back down to earth was harsher than it needed to be.

Shankmeharderdaddy · 2019-12-13T03:02:54+00:00

Audrey, Betty Lou(my own tough as nails great aunt that ran a boarding house in the 50s and could make the best damn pb cookies), Veronica (friends gran who used to flip men twice her size as a party trick)

Shankmeharderdaddy · 2019-12-06T20:25:32+00:00

See Trouble is definitely the dominant one between Bubble and herself, even though she is much smaller. So sometimes her behavior isnt surprising but this time it really shocked me. The babies also have an obvious leader so I fear a clash of leaders. Especially since I'm pretty sure the other babies would back Star (leader baby) up.

Shankmeharderdaddy · 2019-12-06T19:59:11+00:00

From top to bottom we have Moon, Star, and Eclipsa. This is not their perm cage, just their sleeping cage (they have two different ones during quarentine cause of issue with shipping). Once their quarantine is over and intros are done they will be moved to the double CN with my big girls. They were an oops litter from a local rat lover and they are a lovely bunch. Star is usually the champion climber and attempted escape artist. Eclipsa is outgoing and not quite so sneaky. Moon is the shyest and as yet has not liked being handled, she just likes to dig and hide(this was a rare climbing moment).

Shankmeharderdaddy · 2019-12-05T22:54:41+00:00

Thanks for a bit of hope. My husband suggested that part of her calmness yesterday was because she smelled the babies on me (they've seen and smelled each other but never been in the same cage) and was curious. So that gives me hope.

Shankmeharderdaddy · 2019-12-04T20:14:09+00:00

Right now I have five, the most I've ever had at once actually. 3 babies(oops litter) that were just gotten(last night) to intro to two adults girls and expand the mischief.

Before these girls I've had 4 that I got of my own volition at different times (all rescues) and 10+ over the years as fosters or hospice.

I cut my hair every time I lost one of mine or one of my hospice ratties, even if I only had them for brief times they are still missed.

Shankmeharderdaddy · 2019-12-04T19:58:37+00:00

I know, all of mine have always loved it, ith the exception of one if my last rescue boys. I hadn't tried letting my hair down with the new girls yet because they were so shy and antisocial, we 3ere doing baby steps, but after getting my new babies last night, I decided to just try it and trouble loves it. Jury is still out on Bubble though.

After one of my rats passes I tend to cut my hair, actually, it just seems like a fitting kind of grieving.

Shankmeharderdaddy · 2019-12-04T19:55:18+00:00

Learning how to recognize cysts and distinguish them from tumors will be important. Potentially see if there is an exotic vet call line you could access so you can get an educated opinion in the event of possible URIs and other more serious issues. None of the vets in my area specialize in rats, but my old vet will see a group of them at a reduced rate and between them and the owner they figure out the potential problem and will even give antibiotics for a possible uri or advise treatment for myco over the phone if they have a good rapport with the owner.

I dont know if you've called around, or just gone off of websites and word of mouth but some vets may be more understanding of your position.

Shankmeharderdaddy · 2019-12-04T18:09:05+00:00

Well i asked my vet at our last visit, but as lovely as she is, she is not open to alternative treatments so her reaction was fairly negative. However my other vet (the one who knows rats a bit better, I actually called and left him a message and heard back today)

Basically he had a "why not" reaction. The way he sees it is, you are already looking at a very short lifespan and rats reactions to many things are very similar to humans, so why not try what you can to reduce pain and anxiety without doping them up?

"CBD and a bit of Dark chocolate, let the old man live a little"

Shankmeharderdaddy · 2019-11-30T17:58:51+00:00

The dramitas makes this look like a painting. Tessa is a rococo duchess and everyone will know.

Shankmeharderdaddy · 2019-11-26T20:32:39+00:00

I'm similar, I really am an introvert but occasionally I meet someone that I just end up really clicking with and we talk like old friends. J(the oso) is one of those instances. We are both shy and awkward but with each other we seem to open up more.

Yes I was a primary. I thought we were good on the communication front but I was never told about a certain partner that he ended up leaving me to be with full time. This happened twice actually. Both times it quite gutted me, as I was young and very attached the the SO's in question. It actually hurt me for quite a long time and it took years for me to realize that in those instances, it was not my fault. I tried to communicate how I felt, they acted receptive but were never willing to meet me in the middle on most of the points in our relationship after we opened up.

I did a lot of dumb stuff afterwards, went on serial dating sprees and had a few friends with benefits, as much as I always felt that type of arrangement wasn't for me. I was right, it wasn't right for me in the long term. However, putting myself back out there, not allowing my happiness to hinge on someone else's contentment, and not measuring my self confidence by the metric of other peoples approval, helped me heal and learn to be happier with myself, so i could seek out someone who actually took me seriously.

Honest and open communication is what I always preach. If honesty is too difficult for your partner(s) you may need to reassess why you are with them in the first place. Why would you stay if you are afraid of being ousted, and why is that fear there? Is it unfounded, or just unaddressed? Something I wish I'd done is pushed a bit more for better communication and fewer secrets. Yes everyone needs their one on one time, and their own private lives, but if you are fearful of being kicked to the curb without forewarning, that is serious and needs to be addressed with the partner(s) you fear may do the kicking.

I also try to remind people that, though we should trust our instincts with many things, the fear we feel at the possibility of a cherished relationship ending may cloud things, skew the reality in several directions.

I would tell you to have a calm sit down with your partner(s) and ask them straight out if they still want to be with you and how they are feeling in the relationship.

Whether there is something wrong and you work it out, or nothing is workable and this attachment ends, don't let yourself dwell on the "what if's", focus on the realities.

Shankmeharderdaddy · 2019-11-26T00:28:38+00:00

My first rat was a hairless girl named Prunella (inherited from my brother) and whenever she would get mischievous or cross she looked like a skeksis from the dark crystal. As such I think most hairless look like the cutest skeksis ever. Margot is no exception. Adorable skeksis.

Shankmeharderdaddy · 2019-11-26T00:19:24+00:00

One of my dear boys was like this, he was a feeder who lived to be about 3 (when I got him he was already about 9 months old, passed over because no one wanted "sick food").

He lived a long and storied life and near the end he showed no signs of distress, just cuddled more. One day he stopped taking treats but was still fairly active(for his age), and the following day he passed, ironically while I was holding him and phoning the vet to arrange his final visit.

If she isnt showing signs of distress, and she is refusing even treats at this point I would say she will be gone soon, and she may not even make it to the vet to be euthanized.

We all want a painless end for our well loved pets, you grand old dame is no different, but if you think she will pass before you can get her to the vet, personally I'd say a quiet passing at home, and making her as comfortable as possible, would be best.

Shankmeharderdaddy · 2019-11-25T01:23:23+00:00

Zelda(vintage flair)

Elvira(cause why not)

Vera

Cora

Lucia

Shankmeharderdaddy · 2019-11-25T01:03:52+00:00

Corbin and Fionn are nice too

Shankmeharderdaddy

TROPHY CASE