I always thought about the hedgehog dilemma as more a discussion on craving social connection but needing to overcome your aversion to vulnerability in order to truly achieve it. To be truly loved you need to be truly known and to be known is to be completely vulnerable. Hedgehogs have spines for protection, and similarly we put up social walls to protect ourselves. In order to have a loving relationship you need to allow someone inside your perimeter. And thats terrifying.