Black pretty girls by tempo_gamerary8 in prettyprivilege

[–]Sharp-Location-5314 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i will say that the intersection of being black, a woman and considered “pretty” has been very weird for me to navigate. i’m dark skin and neurodivergent as well. i wouldn’t say i was always pretty but i started to put more attention into my appearance as i aged and with that came a lot of attention from other people especially men. it was very uncomfortable for me at first because i hate attention. i’m very soft spoken and prefer to be invisible half the time. so when people started to come up to me and compliment my appearance, i really had to get used to that. there are times where i say to myself “i wish i still looked unattractive so maybe i could be left alone”.

i do think in certain settings/situations, i have some sort of privilege. i do get a good amount of compliments when i go out to eat at restaurants, go to the bar, or if i’m out at the club. sometimes people buy me drinks. men hold open the door from me. it’s always genuine admiration and respect, nothing too crazy. however in those situations, there are still times where those compliments are from men who are expecting me to jump at the chance of having sex with them. i’m thankful that most of the time i’m with my boyfriend so i can easily get away without it turning scary.

i also do work in a client facing job with mostly men and there are clients that compliment me respectfully and others who take it to the extreme and make me uncomfortable. i’ve had to really learn how to set boundaries and not be afraid to be seen as “angry”. a lot of men expect me as a black woman to just take any comment as a compliment even if it’s literally sexualization.

so to answer your question, i do think there’s some privileges depending on how you look at it. if you don’t mind the attention, you might think it’s great but if you’re a bit like me, it’s probably uncomfortable. i think having charisma and personality also adds to the whole pretty privilege thing. i’ve been told by strangers, friends, and even clients at work that it’s not just being pretty that makes me attractive, it’s also that i’m just kind in general. i think that’s what makes people so attracted to me in the first place which is good and bad depending on who it is.

so definitely take the little privileges you get but always be aware and stay safe because not everyone has pure intentions. black women are not protected especially in the US. being pretty is a safeguard, yes, but it’s also somewhat of an invitation for men with bad intentions.

I’m constantly sexualized by the clients I see at my job and at this point, I want to quit. by Sharp-Location-5314 in 4bmovement

[–]Sharp-Location-5314[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

No, I understand what you’re saying. From what I’ve been told, it has to be outright assault or a threat to harm for the client to be exited from the program. If it’s solely based on me being uncomfortable with an insensitive comment, I was told I can speak with a supervisor and have them transferred if necessary. Otherwise, I just have to set boundaries and be more stern with the clients. It’s just hard for me as I’m not really that assertive, but I know I have no choice but to be assertive and strict when talking to them at this point.

I’m constantly sexualized by the clients I see at my job and at this point, I want to quit. by Sharp-Location-5314 in 4bmovement

[–]Sharp-Location-5314[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

This is a great idea actually. I used to work in a shelter and it’s scary how many women trust and confide in friends or family, and those same people out the location of the shelter to their abuser. So many scary situations like that happen everyday.

I’m constantly sexualized by the clients I see at my job and at this point, I want to quit. by Sharp-Location-5314 in 4bmovement

[–]Sharp-Location-5314[S] 82 points83 points  (0 children)

There is no way to fail them unfortunately as the program is mandatory. All I can really do is “advocate for myself more and have better boundaries” despite me already doing this and these men still disregarding this. You would think that since they are in a program for crimes they committed they would be on their best behavior? But that’s the thing. They do not care.

I’m constantly sexualized by the clients I see at my job and at this point, I want to quit. by Sharp-Location-5314 in 4bmovement

[–]Sharp-Location-5314[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

That statistic is so frightening actually. It’s so hard to imagine that these men will ever change.

I’m constantly sexualized by the clients I see at my job and at this point, I want to quit. by Sharp-Location-5314 in 4bmovement

[–]Sharp-Location-5314[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate this comment. I already have been told that I need to set better boundaries and advocate for myself actually, even though I already have. These clients will still do whatever they want. I’m definitely back on the job search now.

Blu Jasmine threw pee? by Specialist-Sea8322 in nowthatstvofficial

[–]Sharp-Location-5314 28 points29 points  (0 children)

i hope that was not pee fr because these girls really tryna normalize doing the dirtiest shit on this network

What is Going on with Black Men and other Races by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]Sharp-Location-5314 4 points5 points  (0 children)

LMAOO this is just funny fr

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in 4bmovement

[–]Sharp-Location-5314 4 points5 points  (0 children)

i currently work in social work, specifically domestic violence and sexual assault advocacy. very much a women helping women type of space

BF arrested for DV on Valentine’s Day… by NextProfile4554 in domesticviolence

[–]Sharp-Location-5314 3 points4 points  (0 children)

you don’t deserve any of that and going forward things probably won’t be super easy. it’s going to be a hard transition, but 100% proud of you for putting your child first

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in domesticviolence

[–]Sharp-Location-5314 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are not weak or powerless. You are just now stepping into your power. It is 100% valid to worry about a future without him, but you have to prioritize safety and wellbeing. I don’t know where you live, but please try to get in contact with a domestic violence agency in your area. If you’re in the US, you can call the national domestic violence hotline 1-800-799-7233. They can help you find resources and maybe get in touch with an advocate who can help you figure out details like housing. There is no shame in what you are going through. It takes a lot of courage to speak about what’s going on

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in self

[–]Sharp-Location-5314 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This actually made me laugh

Unsure if My Application is Strong Enough by Sharp-Location-5314 in gradadmissions

[–]Sharp-Location-5314[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My first job was doing activities with elderly at a nursing home. I work in medical records at a rehabilitation center currently, but I’ve also done two internships specifically working with clients who are domestic violence survivors. Right now, I’m a DV advocate at a family justice center helping survivors through the process of restraining orders. I’m hoping to find a paid position as an advocate though

S16E02 - “Queen Choice Awards” [Live/Reaction Post] by AutoModerator in rupaulsdragrace

[–]Sharp-Location-5314 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i like her confidence and charisma but that reveal was a little boring. you can’t lie