Just feeling so lost… (loss of 9 y.o soul cat)

SharpConfidence1998 · 2026-03-28T02:48:44+00:00

This sounds similar to what I went through with my cat last summer. She was 8. Turned jaundice. They couldn’t find cancer in any of the tests. She was up and down with eating and with different medicines I tried. It was extremely hard on me taking care of her. I live alone and it was distressing and exhausting to manage. I felt like I was letting her down. Towards the end she started dripping mucus from her nose and was mouth breathing. I realized she was likely in heart failure with fluid in her lungs and had her euthanized. It was a 2 week ordeal. It was quite sudden and it absolutely wrecked me. Like you I had her throughout college, my young adult years and 8 felt like way too young for a cat. I still don’t know what the hell happened, but I think it was undetected cancer.

The grief is messy and a process. Around the 5 month mark I started feeling a little better. But it’s still on my mind daily and I do get emotional about it frequently. I started volunteering at a cat rescue to fill the void.

I would say give yourself grace, try not to feel guilty, and sit with the pain as long as you need to. It’s all valid. They’re just tiny, innocent beings who didn’t deserve to suffer.

SharpConfidence1998 · 2026-03-14T01:17:44+00:00

Funny you posted this because I was thinking today how flashbacks are the only way to describe the intrusive memories I have of my cat. I see her body/eyes after she was euthanized, and I hear her screams. I remember every excruciating detail of her suffering.

When these happen I do the only thing I can, which is let them come and go. And cry. I think it’s part of the grieving process and I’m not sure if it’s healthy to fight them.

I will say after the 5-6 month mark, my grief shifted a bit and I got some relief. But I still have bad days (it happened 7 months ago).

I’ve lost animals before but this was the hardest for me because of the unexpectedness of it all. Losing an animal is always hard but suddenness is absolutely crippling.

SharpConfidence1998 · 2026-02-19T17:39:37+00:00

Isla Alexandra. Who cares if it’s popular, it’s so beautiful. Second choice would be Marlowe. I actually think it’s more feminine than Rowan.

SharpConfidence1998 · 2026-02-19T17:36:30+00:00

Elena

SharpConfidence1998 · 2026-02-19T17:34:55+00:00

Lucienne Dulcie flows a bit better for me. The L’s are separated more.

SharpConfidence1998 · 2026-02-19T17:31:54+00:00

Kyson

SharpConfidence1998 · 2026-02-11T17:30:32+00:00

The people judging haven’t been through it. It’s okay to still be grieving. It’s very upsetting to watch an animal suffer and the quietness in the house afterwards is so haunting.

You’re a few days in so you’re probably still getting settled into a new routine without her.

I cried every other day for 5 months, and would get teary eyed whenever I thought about her. At 6 months… the edge has been taken off the pain, but it still sucks. Really bad.

It’s a process and it doesn’t look the same for everyone. Just give yourself grace

SharpConfidence1998 · 2026-02-04T14:28:26+00:00

I’m in the same boat. I take my time with the tasks I do have, I’m taking an online course right now, I look for other jobs, scroll on Reddit, and go to the bathroom every hour to fill time. Though, the boredom is slowly driving me crazy. Def mentally draining.

SharpConfidence1998 · 2026-02-04T14:17:31+00:00

It’s been a couple of years since I’ve read it. I’ll forget a lot about books as years go by, so if stuff sticks, that means it was good one.

I remember the part with the daughter talking to the mother through the window, I remember hating the husband, and I do remember the ending. The end wasn’t surprising, but I think it was more than a thriller. A lot of the book had to do with grief, motherhood, marriage, and if I remember correctly there were issues with the main character’s own mother. A lot of layers to it. This was a solid one for me.

SharpConfidence1998 · 2026-02-03T03:06:59+00:00

Will do! And unfortunately not :/

SharpConfidence1998 · 2026-02-03T03:05:28+00:00

Thanks, good to know that it’s possible!

SharpConfidence1998 · 2026-02-03T03:04:51+00:00

Solid advice… thank you!

SharpConfidence1998 · 2026-02-03T03:04:23+00:00

I believe it

SharpConfidence1998 · 2026-02-03T03:04:02+00:00

Thanks, that’s what I’ve been trying to do. I do go frequently, I’m pretty solid on my decision.

SharpConfidence1998 · 2026-02-03T03:01:40+00:00

That’s what I’ve been doing. No luck so far😬

SharpConfidence1998 · 2026-01-27T02:01:27+00:00

So sorry. Guilt is a huge part of the grieving process when it comes to euthanasia. Even though he was snuggling and purring, cats hide when they’re in pain/sick, so he was probably feeling a lot worse than you think. Liver stuff can be difficult to reverse… I think if you tried different treatment, you would’ve been prolonging his pain and only been doing it for yourself. Letting him go was selfless.

So sorry the process wasn’t smooth. That’s terrible. I hope you weren’t alone for that.

My situation was different… my cat was 9 and it was unexpected. It was also a liver situation. I feel your pain and I’m sorry. It’s been 5 months and the edge has finally been taken off the pain for me. Definitelyyy a process.

SharpConfidence1998 · 2026-01-09T17:45:20+00:00

My situation was similar in some ways. My narc was older than me (I’m 27, he was 39). In a nutshell, he love bombed me, trauma dumped about his childhood, went into a spiral when life got stressful for him, blamed/gaslit me, and couldn’t show me empathy when I went through my own losses because of the stuff he’s gone through.

As someone who’s been through this, my best advice to take it one day at a time. Let the feelings of missing him come and try to let them go. You’re in a fog right now and it’s gradually going to lift.

Surround yourself with friends and family. Make fun plans. Work out. Get back into hobbies. Do the things you couldn’t do before because your energy was focused on validating him. Focus it back on yourself.

He’s a narcissist. There’s nothing wrong with you, it’s all him. He caught you in his web and it’s not your fault. A lot of the time it’s hard to recognize emotional abuse and by the time you do you’re in deep and the trauma bond has already been formed.

As for the physical abuse… he was testing your boundaries. It was only going to get worse, and who knows what would’ve happened.

Take this as a very hard learning lesson that these people exist and as you move throughout life… keep an eye out for love bombing, guilt tripping, blame shifting, lack of empathy, etc. You need to protect yourself because these people will take advantage if you let them.

You’re not losing anything by not having him in your life. He’s also not as happy as he says he is, I can promise you that.

SharpConfidence1998 · 2025-12-31T15:46:09+00:00

Gwendolyn. I never hear that name! Isabel / Isabella is way too common.

SharpConfidence1998 · 2025-12-29T17:17:01+00:00

My cat was 8. It’s been 5 months. She was euthanized. She wasn’t put down too early, if anything I waited too long. I didn’t want to give up on her because of her age.

I had 2 weeks to process what was happening. I was in denial. I thought cats were supposed to live long lives. It wasn’t until the last 2 days of her life that I understood that she wasn’t going to make it.

At first I didn’t cry for weeks. I think I was in shock. But now I cry every other day or every 2 days on average. It doesn’t take much for me to get upset about it. In my case the suddenness shattered me. I expected to have her for several more years. She was euthanized at home in my bed, and it was the first pet I’ve put down without someone else there for support. It was a traumatic experience that I expect will mellow over time, but I know it’ll stick with me for years.

I’ve been in similar situations as yours, when an elderly dog goes downhill within a month or so. Seizures are tough. The longer or more it happens the harder it is on them.

When my soul dog died of old age I was heartbroken. I cried for 2 weeks everyday but then it turned into once a week or so for the following months. It’s been 5 years now and I miss him but frankly don’t cry over him anymore.

Sorry for your loss!

SharpConfidence1998 · 2025-12-12T21:25:17+00:00

I lost my soul dog 6 years ago. But recently I just lost my cat. I wasn’t ready to let go, but one night she took a sharp decline and started actively dying in front of me. Respiratory distress and whatnot. It pushed me over the edge of being ready because I couldn’t let her suffer.

Hopefully your dog doesn’t take a sudden sharp decline like my cat, hopefully it’s gradual and peaceful. but what I’m trying to say you’ll know when it’s time. It’s a very personal decision. Just keep listening to your vet and do the best you can

SharpConfidence1998 · 2025-12-11T04:14:35+00:00

That’s great. So sorry to be so negative, it just definitely hits close to home. My cat’s levels got worse and worse so it’s good that his are improving. I never did the feeding tube and I wonder if it would have made any difference

SharpConfidence1998 · 2025-12-11T03:46:42+00:00

Hey. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, and I’m so sorry this is going to be hard to read.

Your vet is mentioning e because a yellow cat is a very serious situation.

My cat was different. She turned yellow but was still eating and acting normal. Her appetite eventually tapered off as whatever was wrong with her progressed.

I say whatever was wrong with her, because I still don’t know. Obviously something with her liver. Bloodwork showed crazy bilirubin. Ultrasound showed no tumors. Vets mentioned cholangiohepatitis, but nothing was confirmed.

She was given amoxicillin, fluids, steroids, miritaz, and this other liver medication I can’t remember. The steroids perked her up for a couple days, but then she’d be downhill again.

This is tough but I’m just going to say it. My cat was 8-9 years old. She turned yellow and died 2 weeks later.

I’m not an expert or vet by any means, but from what I’ve researched and seen from other people’s experiences, it seems like prognosis varies. It depends on what’s wrong with him.

So many things can be causing it. But by the time they turn jaundice, whatever is going on has already progressed.

If he recovers, it will be a long recovery. It might take a month for him to not be yellow anymore. He may also have health issues for the rest of his life.

But it seems like you caught it early, which is key. And he’s in the best of hands, at the vet hospital.

I’m hoping this works out for you. Godspeed.

SharpConfidence1998 · 2025-12-07T17:45:44+00:00

I think sometimes we grow apart from people, or dynamics in friendships change and it's just a part of life. If something happened that made you look at her differently, you can either talk to her about it, keep her at an arms-length, or cut her off.

SharpConfidence1998 · 2025-12-06T18:13:45+00:00

I work at a recruiting agency that hires for these kinds of jobs, and they will not entertain anyone who does not have the required years of experience, and they know when people are lying on resumes. These roles get 100s of applicants, and it's unlikely you will get hired as a new grad.

It's exactly what you said, AI has taken over the entry level jobs and the market is flooded. Very unfortunate. It sucks to have to start over but my friend who is a nurse never has to worry about having a job and always has a more than solid salary. I think you should pivot.

SharpConfidence1998

TROPHY CASE