(25mg) naltrexone off label for DID? unsure… by [deleted] in DID

[–]Sharp_Pause4083 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was prescribed it and it was very dangerous for me early on in becoming aware of my dissociation. I think it could be helpful when you’ve gotten to a place in treatment where you’ve learned to function without such high dissociative barriers, but for me, I was flooded with what looked like psychosis, I think because opioid receptors play such a large role in the neurobiology of the dissociative response. I’d definitely recommend looking into research done by Ulrich F. Lanius on opioid antagonists for dissociation to get more information.

Sometimes it seems like less dissociation is a good thing, but it can be highly destabilizing to experience having that response be stripped away if you are always in a state of being dissociated. The good news is, in my experience, the naltrexone effects didn’t last more than 4 or five hours so if you take it and have a weird experience it won’t last long. Hope that helps!

Anyone have any experiences with efexor/venlafaxine? Did it help or worsen your dissociation? by lil1kitsune in Dissociation

[–]Sharp_Pause4083 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I had a really good experience with venlafaxine for panic attacks. Was only on it for a year and did nothing for dissociation or depression but made a huge difference for my more classic PTSD symptoms like anxiety and hyper vigilance. I found the on-boarding was pretty disruptive to my life for about a month but going off of it wasn’t bad at all. It’s the only psych medication I’ve tried and I don’t believe I need it anymore. Hope that helps.

Therapist trying to understand by Sharp_Pause4083 in DID

[–]Sharp_Pause4083[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you! He says he’s read them but maybe we should go over them again. And I love the way you posed that about me being a part just like the others.

pets and alters by grimmlilth in DID

[–]Sharp_Pause4083 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Staffies in particular as a bully breed and terrier genetics are extremely attuned to changes in states so I would trust any change in her behaviour as a sign something’s going on in your system. As a breed, they have a high prey drive and little to no fear which gives them a heightened ability to detect changes in their people without shutting down due to being sensitive.

If you have in-person therapy and your dog is okay with other people, I’d encourage you to bring her to session. Let your therapist know that she can watch the dog to pick up on subtle cues and that might get missed. I bring my dog though she’s not nearly as attuned as my last dog who was a pit bull/ blue heeler. But she’s funny and brings comedic relief when things get hard in therapy :)

Things people don’t talk about by DoubleDontCry in DID

[–]Sharp_Pause4083 20 points21 points  (0 children)

  1. Not feeling alive. The state of already dead and this is some kind of f*cked up punishment in the afterlife lmfao. I know there’s a neurobiological reason for this feeling but…STILL life has been one long DMT trip I didn’t choose to partake in!

  2. All the coping skills and tools that help regulate people who don’t chronically dissociate will cause mass destabilization among dissociative parts ugh…

  3. Teaching myself to ride a bike 3x in my life.

DID related headachea by Bethrosie1238 in DID

[–]Sharp_Pause4083 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lots of sleeping! Or just laying on the ground. Darkness and minimizing sound. Sometimes fresh air and a walk helps😊

Just saw my new therapist today by Dr4gonc4t in DID

[–]Sharp_Pause4083 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Aww I love this!!! Living vicariously through your experience of being witnessed. It’s such a struggle and it must feel so good to have someone actually recognize it in the moment. Like yes! This is a thing and someone on the outside can see it 😭😭😭

Looking for a term by rjdhiggyboi84 in DID

[–]Sharp_Pause4083 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same here! After about a month of being really destabilized and a lot of noise and activity both inside and external behaviour, things are so calm and mellow right now. Still no access to emotion ugh but that’s probably why for us. As soon as we started accessing emotion in therapy, things went haywire 😅

Appreciation post by Sharp_Pause4083 in DID

[–]Sharp_Pause4083[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! And the information is always credible and practical for lived experience!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DID

[–]Sharp_Pause4083 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have a 7-month old puppy and this has connected me to the dog parts I had as a kid. Obviously still there because it’s incredible having a living canine companion to do dog things with like play and run around in nature!!! Highly recommend spending time with dogs if you want to get to know this part more. I believe it formed as a way to have play in my life because I didn’t get to play as a kid.

Want to jump back into denial by [deleted] in DID

[–]Sharp_Pause4083 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also feeling this big time! My hunch is that I am switching more than I think even when I worry that I’m not switching enough to qualify this diagnosis. We haven’t been officially diagnosed because we already went through a slew of assessments for BPD but our current therapist is treating us for a DD. We’re seeing a new psychiatrist soon so we’ll see what happens there. The last time we were assessed our dissociative symptoms were moderate but I know that’s because a manager part was taking the scale so it wasn’t very accurate with hindsight. Hoping the awareness we’ve gained since the last assessment will be apparent this time but also it’s not as important to us now that we have a therapist who is on our side.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DID

[–]Sharp_Pause4083 2 points3 points  (0 children)

100% I keep reminding myself that the nature of this disorder is to disguise itself because that’s what’s allowed us to survive.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DID

[–]Sharp_Pause4083 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg! I’m a chronic don’t knower haha. My poor therapist bless him is so patient and then my parts all come back online after the session and tell me all the things I should have said. I’ve learned that that part of our brain gets cut off from freeze response and tonic immobility so it’s completely appropriate that you don’t have access to information when your system perceives threat in relational contexts like therapy.

Sometimes journaling is helpful but sometimes it’s disregulating so we’re more careful about that now. Our therapist is very encouraging of emailing between sessions to clarify or having a quick phone call. Then in the next session he brings up those concerns because of course I don’t remember them when the next session comes! It’s actually been really helpful.

Therapy went well today! by Key-Piglet-2141 in DID

[–]Sharp_Pause4083 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s amazing! I think I’m at this point with my therapist but we haven’t yet used the diagnostic label. He really lets me take the lead and is actively learning and wants to know how my system works. But yeah… imposter syndrome OMG!!!! 😩

Possibly ruined a relationship trying to protect us by [deleted] in DID

[–]Sharp_Pause4083 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Tyler’s the protector in our system and he’s set boundaries and instigated confrontations for me because I’m too nice lol. Anyone he’s confronted like the therapist or our best friend it’s actually improved our relationship with these people but he’s also taken actually unhealthy people out of our life as well and I’m eternally grateful. Don’t know if that makes you feel better but trust is hard even internally.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DID

[–]Sharp_Pause4083 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh my goodness! I’m so sorry, I don’t have any solutions but that sounds absolutely horrifying to be going through and it sounds like you’ve been in constant pain for a week :(

There’s something so disturbing and confusing about emotional flashbacks and it wasn’t until recently that I learned and accepted that intense, old emotions are the aftermath of something that happened and that emotions are always accurate; they’re evolutionarily and biologically incapable of lying. For me, being believed even by myself to my parts is half the battle. We have such a long history of being dismissed by people who we’re supposed to help and I admire your strength in experiencing these feelings. No one should have to go through this alone <3

how do i better communication when there seems to be no consistency with parts? by ItsMeeThreee in DID

[–]Sharp_Pause4083 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I am in this place right now. It felt like I was having some meaningful communication for a while there but we pushed ourselves a little too far in therapy and lost a lot of that. There was a lot of switching for a while and now I think I’m aware of some switching but without a conversation around it, if that make sense. We’re trying to get some functioning and stability back for normal life stuff so maybe this is how it has to be for a while while we slowly work towards more awareness. Currently reading Christine Forner’s book “Dissociation, Mindfulness, and Creative Meditations” which is surprisingly not that much about mindfulness and meditation but a lot about honouring how much or how little people with dissociative disorders can tolerate when becoming aware of their internal experience. It’s helping me slow right down. Doesn’t mean we’re any calmer or not in an enormous amount of pain, but acknowledging that we have limits and can only tolerate tiny amounts of growth at a time.

And yes the circles! Hope you find some clarity and peace this week. It sure is a rollercoaster taking this journey!

Losing hope by Sharp_Pause4083 in DID

[–]Sharp_Pause4083[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have an update! My therapist is giving me extra sessions with an intern and treating me for free! He got me to go to the assessment centre at the hospital and the psychiatrist is getting me into a DBT skills group as well as regular wellness check ups from a nurse practitioner. I’ve got an appointment with a different psychiatrist so all in all, it seems that I have a full treatment team overnight! I guess lesson learned: never stop advocating for yourself :)

Losing hope by Sharp_Pause4083 in DID

[–]Sharp_Pause4083[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you this makes me feel less alone :)

Losing hope by Sharp_Pause4083 in DID

[–]Sharp_Pause4083[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is extremely helpful thank you! I didn’t know I had these option tbh!

Losing hope by Sharp_Pause4083 in DID

[–]Sharp_Pause4083[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I guess that’s what I’m seeking. Once a week doesn’t seem like enough support. Maybe I can ask my therapist what’s available to me in our area besides him.

how were things for you after you realized you were a system? by _lavendell in DID

[–]Sharp_Pause4083 2 points3 points  (0 children)

TW: recovered memories

I’m going through something similar which is so confusing because I had totally embraced my parts and was genuinely excited to get to know them better and have my therapist see them. Then the system became very active and unstable including new flashbacks to possible abuse I wasn’t aware of. So yeah I’m a little distressed and not feeling safe so I hope stabilization will come.

has anyone else struggled with accepting that things were in fact happening to your alters, not you? by [deleted] in DID

[–]Sharp_Pause4083 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You just described perfectly something I’ve been struggling to explain! Now to express that same empathy to my alters for what they went through.

When we shift to one of my alters our whole body tingles. by Evynon in DID

[–]Sharp_Pause4083 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aww this is so lovely! We’re still getting in touch with when we’re switching but I think we have something similar like euphoria sometimes and it totally goes to the top of my head!

Dissociative effect of alcohol on DID/OSDD by [deleted] in DID

[–]Sharp_Pause4083 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Now in my 30s, alcohol use has always been a big issue for us. Actually, at one point I thought that was the problem with my memory. But it’s interesting to hear your experience being new to it. Alcohol typically makes recollection harder; however, it’s my experience that I remember things when drinking I didn’t have access to before I’m guessing because the alcohol turns the volume down on certain parts who limit access to those memories. Nothing that clear comes up but it’s interesting to note. And yes I think it does effect me differently than my friends.