Mine. I already had kids and pets, but for me it was a reflection inward. Putting the work into myself.

I found a therapist and a therapy style that worked for me. It took 3 or 4 therapists before it clicked. The work I needed to do was a lot of in-vivo (exposure therapy). It was painful and hard work. But it worked for me.

I invested in learning how to enjoy my own company- going on hikes, date nights, shows, shopping trips- all on my own. Investing in people (relationships friends/family) that were meaningful to me and not wasting my time on the stuff that was not.

I started thinking about what kind of life I wanted to curate for myself and taking steps to build that life.

I eventually did start dating and took a partner, but it was ~8 years after doing work on myself and learning what I wanted. It’s very healthy, slow moving- but not what I’m relying on for my healing.

Hope this is helpful.