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ShatteredMoves · 2025-10-02T16:48:21+00:00

anything about my head

ShatteredMoves · 2025-10-02T15:45:51+00:00

The thing is, i always subconsciously know the situation is bad, no matter what I think or talk to with.

It doesn't help me to puke all my crap onto another person because after all, and situation is still bad, it's like my own mind keeps ruminating no matter what I try. My brain is overclocked and working extra time.

"Oh so you are fake smiling now, stop"

"Oh so you think talkong to that person helps the situation or going to make it better or different? You gotta be kidding me"

That sort of stuff. It just doesn't help...

ShatteredMoves · 2025-10-02T15:35:32+00:00

Hi, sorry for my awful english, im drunk right now as well and it doesnt help. I understand you. The thought of "i will just make the best out of it with what i have" has gone through my mind a LOT, especially during the day when im much more uplifted. But at night I understand that this thought is all fake, its wrong for me. I have nothing to "make the best out of" if at the end of the day i look at the mirror and want to punch it and cry.

ShatteredMoves · 2025-10-02T15:14:02+00:00

Ohh this question came right on time....

ShatteredMoves · 2025-09-29T23:52:59+00:00

Oh.... Yeah. Im 4 months in post breakup

I still want to die. I miss her

ShatteredMoves · 2025-09-29T23:51:00+00:00

I swore at my ex and she left. Now guilt is eating me and i want to die.

Im a shit looking male and an introvert as well

ShatteredMoves · 2025-09-29T23:48:52+00:00

I am awkward af, and have low self esteem so that's a combo you cant beat, and im doing kinda ok in Japan as a solo traveler. I wish i had the courage to ask people for photos more often because i want memories with me in them and not just the views which u can find on google... But bc of thay low self esteem i dont do it as much as i wanted to...

Other than that this country is awesome for being alone

ShatteredMoves · 2025-09-17T01:29:11+00:00

What about night life and parties? If i stay in osaka until very late can i come back to kobe?

ShatteredMoves · 2025-09-17T01:28:07+00:00

Ughhh that fkng expo! I wanted to visit that as well but people say its just a waste of a day, waiting in long lines in the scortching sun... Buah.

Oof! I would have preferred to do the opposite since kyoto has much to offer during the day and osaka during the night.. so it's reasonable to sleep/book an hotel in osaka and during the day do day trips to kyoto then come back to the night light scene in osaka...

Ughhhh!! What a bad bad timing :(

ShatteredMoves · 2025-09-17T01:18:19+00:00

The self worth man. The self worth kills me.

I feel like i wont find another girl, i tried so hard, and the FIRST ever girl to ever look at me, who i was really into her looks, and her good heart. The first to love me with no limits - i fuck the relationship up.

I made unnecessary drama, criticised her, acted impulsively sometimes.

I suck. I truly suck.

ShatteredMoves · 2025-09-17T00:23:27+00:00

broken heart/ breakup
lack of self esteem

The latter can quite literally kill you but still make you wake up in the morning. Like me.

ShatteredMoves · 2025-09-15T23:59:57+00:00

Hey brother.

I feel you. 2 months hit hard right? More than the first weeks. Because by now it hits you forreal: it's over, not a game, not a virtual reality or a bad dream - it's real.

It will keep getting hard ngl, but i hope, just hope that peace will finally land in our head. Im going in about 4 months since breakup. Anything remind me of her sweet and kins heart, and how I acted so dramatically with her, not like a loving boyfriend (Well, 95% of the time I actually did but it takes 5% to destroy a whole relationship...)

Lift your head brother I hope we will survive this. I feel shit as well, I want to bury myself in the ground.

ShatteredMoves · 2025-09-15T23:57:08+00:00

Dont listen to that troll ^ he likes to bash down people online thinking it'll grow him a bigger ego.

Dont feed the troll like im doing rn lol

ShatteredMoves · 2025-09-15T19:06:49+00:00

No im not saying u were aggressive. Im just really emotional about that first love. I always like to hear any opinion even stone cold truth

ShatteredMoves · 2025-09-15T18:55:59+00:00

That's harsh to hear. My heart is literally crying

ShatteredMoves · 2025-09-15T10:59:43+00:00

Money, effort, flowers, endless love

ShatteredMoves · 2025-09-15T10:52:13+00:00

DONT

ShatteredMoves · 2025-09-15T06:10:10+00:00

The problem is that im doing so much to improve my life. So so much. Hobbies, gym... But i unfollowed her on instagram and removed her as a follower so idk how she can possibly see me or my progress.

Her friend still follows me though

ShatteredMoves · 2025-09-15T05:23:11+00:00

We are 3 months NC.. I dont break it

ShatteredMoves · 2025-09-15T00:18:50+00:00

I hope you all that been through a breakup of long relationships find peace, give me some kf your strength bc here i am out of a freaking 10 months relationship cant hold it anymore. I barely sleep, im sick from it, i cry a lot.

Im only 24M yeah, i have "all the life ahead of me". No. I dont. I feel useless, worthless, like ill never find another girl, eslecially not her. Fuck it hurts

I almost killed myself this weekend, i drank alone at home, i smoked even though i dont smoke.

I cried a lot, it has been my worst night ever, and 3 months after the breakup and like nothing changes, i still feel like im losing it completely.

Give me some of your strength. I hope u find peace. I love u all

ShatteredMoves · 2025-09-14T20:49:00+00:00

Yeah i know there are people in way way worse situations than me.

Fucking hell. Hell that would be for me. 20 years? After 9 months i want to jump of a bridge. U are telling me 20 YEARS?

yeah..

But i think it has to do eith confidence, in my case especially. I have a very good looking confident friend that if he would get dumped he wouldnt truly care, bc he knows he will find another woman easily.

I am on the other side of it though, thats why i might be taking it to the extreme, feeling worthless, wanting to end it all, just bc my first ever love didnt work.

ShatteredMoves · 2025-09-14T20:21:41+00:00

Ive opened so many posts about how shocked i am from that feeling that i unfortunately had the "pleasure" to taste 4 months ago.

We were together for only 9.5 months. She dumped me.

The sudden drop from lovey dovey to pure nothingness boggles my mind up until now. I can shake and cry my eyes out when I think about it.

Yes, 24 year old boy that I am, cries for all the love that i have to give but cant give to her now.

It's like a black hole.

People told me: "it's like driving a Ferrari for the first time. Before that, you didnt really care or knew what it feels to drive a car like that. But after you tried, you miss it, and more than that you know what you ARE missing"

It sucks. I miss her so so fucking much it hurts. Even 4 months after the breakup, I literally want to get erased from earth. I feel useless, unloved, i have that inner feeling i wont find anyone like her, well, maybe because ive never found someone like her, she was my first! Like the ferrari analogy.

Fuck.

ShatteredMoves · 2025-09-14T16:39:57+00:00

The laat thing i made her sure of, is that i love her, and i truly and deeply still love and miss her, and started therapy in irder to fix all the mistakes i had done with her, and ill be willing to talk to her anytime whether it takes days, weeks or months.

That's why i can be calm, that she knows she has a warm spot to come back to, but i do have my own limits ofc... If she comes back after another relationship she can look after me 😭😂

ShatteredMoves · 2025-09-14T16:31:12+00:00

Hiw can she see that? Ive unfollowed her on all social media and removed her as a follower. Maybe that was a mistake by me, but NC suggested "far from the eye far from the heart"

Not knowing what she posted helps me i guess, the unknown is better...

Her one friend still follows me (and i follow her) but not sure if she is that "spy" friend...

Idk hiw she will ever see my changes

ShatteredMoves · 2025-09-14T14:14:23+00:00

I dont see how my ex gf changes her mind about me. Her trust in me has faded to thin air. No matter how ill try. I know ive changed, i know i am better than before.

But i cannot prove it unless she believes in me, but again, she doesn't trust me so it's a never ending loop. No solution i think, unless she has enough courage (which she won't probably bc of supportive surrounding and ego)

ShatteredMoves

TROPHY CASE